-
Proggress
2015-02-01 10:56:47
I've noticed my videos are getting considerably better, but I can't thank myself for that honestly. I get a lot of my inspiration from the community, and it's mostly them that make me wanna keep going. I mean... apparently I have some sort of fanbase on youtube, albeit small, it's there. So, for their sake at least, I must press onwards and deliver the best stuff possible for them.
In other news... STILL AWAITING THAT COLLEGE RESPONSE
It's killing me. When will they reply? I'm literally dying of anticipation here. Film school will be the best thing that ever happened to me since anime. XD - Once again.. 2014-12-17 19:02:57 yet again I've been hurt. Idk why I even bother anymore... All that this world has to offer me heartbreak and sorrow. My ex decided to tell my current interest bad things about me and I lost yet another one. For once can I just be loved? I feel like it's impossible at this point. Sorry for ranting. If you are actually reading this, sorry for whining and all that. I'm just so hurt. I need a hug. Or ten.
- I'm done. 2014-11-25 22:27:05 I'm so sick of the pain. Every time, every day. Pain, pain, pain, pain. It gets to the point to where you're nearly done with life. You just want it to be over. Death would be life's greatest reward ironically. But no. I'm still idiotic enough to want to keep going on when I have no reason left anymore. I have no one that cares about me. I could go missing tomorrow and no one would blink an eye. It's sickening to me. It makes me feel unloved, unwanted. Not even just "feeling" that way, but knowing it's true anyways. So go ahead life, throw more at me. I have nothing left to lose at this point. The brakes on my bike don't even work, so I have no reason to try to "brake" when there's a car coming right at me. Just let it happen. If it's meant to kill you, then let it. 18 years old and contemplating how I want to die. The world is is pathetic, and I hate most people in it with a few exceptions. The girl I love whom I've known for 8 years. She's why I'm here. She's the only reason I haven't ended it already. Every time I think of doing so, she comes in my mind and I know I can't. Funny thing is? I've never met her. But I've known her since I was 10 years old. Met through a game. We grew so close, and close, and close, and now I know I'd do anything for her. I'd ask her to marry me if she were here. It's so funny howl someone you've never met means more to me than anyone I've actually met in person. It's a strange feeling. Is it love? I think it's something that transcends love and time and everything that the human mind can perceive. It keeps me alive, fills me with joy. But not being near her fills me with dread. How I long just to just be in her presence. That would make me happy. But as of right now, I am not happy. I'm far from it. When every little good thing is taken away from you every single day of your life, it gets to the point where you can't take it anymore. It's too much. But what can I do about it. There's not much I can do. This is essentially a trail of thoughts going in my mind, and the fact that I can publicize it is shocking to me. Am I going to kill myself? No. As much as I would love for death to reap me off this wretched Earth as soon as possible, I can't die knowing that she's there, waiting for me. And I'll walk around this damn planet hundreds of times until I can finally meet her. I refuse to let myself die unhappy. I need her. She loves me as well. Unfortunately, certain circumstances prevent us from seeing each other for the time being. But, when the time comes, we'll be together happily ever after. I know, deep in my heart, that she would be the one good thing that's not taken away from her. Because I love her.
-
Damn this video
2014-11-23 12:38:06
This video is taking up so much time. Will it be finished? Yeah. Do I want to? Yeah. Is it a pain in the ass? YEAH. But anyways, this video is basically my greatest work. I've dedicated hours upon hours to it. The full spectrum. All of the emotions. Now, for this one... I'll just write a little inspirational text in regards to the video.
There is multiple dimensions. Some of these dimensions are know to us humans, Earth, Space, and time. Sometimes, the openings to some of the dimensions hidden from humans is opened and we can see into their worlds. Millenia has passed since the last portal opened. This time, the "window" is no longer there, but rather, a door. There world is ours, and our world is theirs. We are them. They are us. Many are good, but some are evil. Sometimes, the few can outweigh the many. The time is coming. THEY, are coming. To save us, to end us, to make us whole.
We are not ready. -
Life.
2014-10-18 23:42:25
Like as I know it, sucks. The girl I cared most about is gone. College is right around the corner. Now it seems I'm the only person there to help me and no one else will. It's tough. Losing the one person to help me get through it all was bad enough, but to go through it on your own? Horrifying. My videos tend to keep me sane. Although finishing the one in particular I made just for her hurt me. Hurts astronomically even. I wish things would finally get better but just seems like it keeps getting worse and worse. I gotta keep pushing through it I suppose. No one else can help me or will be there for me besides me. I'm sure there's someone else out there.. but they'll never be anything like she was. Love sucks. It really does. Maybe it wasn't love.. just infatuation. No idea. But the big thing is to focus on ahead and nothing but. It'll get better.
Hopefully.
-Sephirothskr
JOURNAL: Sephirothskr (Adam Farron)
Current server time: Jun 28, 2025 15:57:59