This AMV Sucks - that's a compliment!

danielwang · Post by **danielwang** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 1:00 am

It's easy to create crappy AMVs.
It's a little bit harder to make the world's crappiest AMV - intentionally!

Video:
1. Looks crappy as hell, obviously ripped by TV/Betamax/Camcorder/Etc
2. Huge watermark in various corners
3. Goes from standard to widescreen srratically
4. In fact, everything is erratic, and full of technical problems.
5. Subititles

How To Do The Video:
1. Use field deletion, resize, reencode as discussed in relative Video topic.
2. Add bogus watermark using a layers, rubber bands and a Flash file.
3. Add fake black bars using a rubber band and a bitmap.
4. Scroll filter. Sephia filter. Line filter.
5. Layer includes a flash movie of the words "Annoying Subtitle Here" flashing in and out in various colours and fonts.

Audio:
1. Crappy karaoke version that's cut improperly
2. Audio technical errors
3. Incorrectly selected audio

How to do the Audio:
1. Use vocal remover and superimpose a Michelle Branch or Jim Brickman vocal over Creed's "One Last Breath" mixed with various other songs.
2. Re-encode from a WMA to shitty MP3. Then re-encode to even crappier Og Vorb!tch. Play over microphone while recording back to (good quality) WMA to get 100% pristine junk,
3. Put romance scnees int he high dynamic rock segment, then battle scenes in the low dynamic, low range instrumental segment.

Why I'm Seriously Considering Doing This:
The first video ever to get straight 0 ratings.
Imagine that.

NME · Post by **NME** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 1:13 am

OMG YOU'RE HILARIOUS.

Please, die.

Shun · Post by **Shun** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 3:03 am

wouldnt happen, your video would get probly mainly 10s because it would be taken just as some recent projects have been :/

EarthCurrent · Post by **EarthCurrent** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 3:25 am

NME wrote:OMG YOU'RE HILARIOUS.

Please, die.

The fact that you occasionally post gems like this, NME, is the only reason I've held off on sending the death squads after you.

Kamoc · Post by **Kamoc** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 6:31 am

Kai Stromler · Post by **Kai Stromler** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 7:17 am

This video already exists.

Ashyukun got special permission from Vic to show it at the "AMV Dos & Don'ts" panel at Anime Boston. I think we got about 30 seconds in before the audience was screaming at us to stop. From the video description entry:

"Think bad. Think really bad. Now get inebriated (to those of you already in that state, that means PISS DRUNK) and think worse. We're talking worse than Rosanne in a thong bikini. Worse than finding out your roomate had White Castle for dinner the hard way. Worse than coming home to finding Richard Simmons in your bed re-enacting select scenes from La Blue Girl."

"Most of the captures were captured straight to DivX while listening to, most likely profane, music in winamp with a fullscreen visualization plugin cranked to the maximum possible settings. The results are hurl-worthy. I've never seen timecode get destroyed to the point where the video will skip and play BACKWARDS before."

"I attempted to output it as an animated gif but the video wouldn't play right, so that option was abandoned. During rendering I took the time to retire to the bathroom for a good 10 minutes of projectile vomiting. I've seen bad, I've DONE bad, but never have I experienced this. "

And yes, it is almost that bad. Yeah, there's avant-garde, but then there's just plain nuclear suck.

--K

fyrtenheimer · Post by **fyrtenheimer** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 9:30 am

Kamoc wrote:

LMAO

danielwang · Post by **danielwang** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 12:16 pm

Kai Stromler wrote:This video already exists.

(...)

I think we got about 30 seconds in before the audience was screaming at us to stop. From the video description entry:

(...)

And yes, it is almost that bad. Yeah, there's avant-garde, but then there's just plain nuclear suck.

I'm downloading it right now.

dokool · Post by **dokool** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 12:46 pm

danielwang wrote: I'm downloading it right now.

...you can't. Vic hasn't released it for downloading.

danielwang · Post by **danielwang** » Thu Jul 24, 2003 1:43 pm

dokool wrote:
danielwang wrote: I'm downloading it right now.

...you can't. Vic hasn't released it for downloading.

Drat. No link. Can't find it on Gnutella.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE POST IT?!?!?!