Sit down. Relax. You've been through a tiring, rough day of squirrel kicking and now it's time to unwind with a hot cup of ginger cocoa and a fine set of rare videos thought lost by historians.
In the olden days of a couple months ago during the Great Hard Drive Funkification, several rare, historically significant AMV's were lost to the ether, never to be heard from again.
Or so we thought. DUN DUN DUN.
It is now with great pleasure that I present to the public at large, for the first time ever, three (or more) videos from a bygone era. Three (or more) relics to times past, to memories thought lost, standing as a collective monument to the rather silly practice of never backing up any data whatsoever.
Now, gather your children, adopted and kidnapped all, so that we may all learn from these videos and take with us the knowledge granted by their terrible, terrible mistakes.
I should inform you though that schooling is expensive and as such you will all be charged a rather exorbitant fee to help support our footage miners stationed in Albania so that we might continue to bring you quality entertainment and learning aids for you and your entire illegitimate family. Cash, checks, and blood offerings are all accepting forms of payment.
Without further ado:

Who can resist the allure of a fine product with the capability of removing the head of a buffalo with a single swing. Every home should have this: for cooking, for housework, for pet cleanup, for self defense. Every hospital should have this. Every orphanage should stock two. And now you can buy one of your very own and complete your empty life, filling it with an overwhelming level of joy and completeness. Also, stabbing.
Enjoy the video that previously only a select few Acen attendees had the glorious chance of witnessing as it stormed the Other category. And then lost.
But wait, there's more...

This magnificent gem will renew your vigor as well as stimulate the dynamo gland in the excitable marmot portion of your brain. That's something exercise can never do! Fuck you, exercise!
This one is unlike our other offerings on display in that this one was rebuilt from the ground up, so as to offer unmatched quality and papercut sealing on ALL of its hinges!
The oxygen level in this room is at dangerous levels!
Acen's action category could not withstand this masterpiece of frantic shooting. So much so that it lost.
But wait, I still have not finished TYPING:

We've made a horrifying mistake that can never be rectified. History will remember us as meddling monsters of the new age. Our band posters shall wither, revealing our true nature.
Hey, does anybody remember Soy Bomb? Whatever happened to that guy?
And would you believe that this one claimed victory at AWA in its Pro contest? Well, you'd better because it's true.
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But wait, wasn't there another video that won a glorious prize at that very same contest? GASP I was unprepared for this turn of events that occurred several months ago. It is only fitting to post that video as well. Sadly, it is not currently available at the current place of 'webbing' you find yourself visiting at the moment. So I'll just have to redirect you to The Everglades.
None of the Above, child of the Everglades
Not only did this one win the "Non-Anime" award, it was in the running for "Greatest Video of the Entire Contest Ever", much to the chagrin of EmoBen and that guy who made the godzilla video.
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Holy Shit! What is that music? Why, it could only be one thing:
BONUS STAGE
Beware the hidden horrors of blabbler, destitute man of the rats and his final collab with his greater, more handsome half.
We made this together, and yet, there was more to be done, but it was not to be. Here is the last gasp of the mysterious entity who touched so many hearts and livers.
I leave this here for posterity. Posterior. Postmortem. Hey there Mr. Postman.
There you have it, five glorious marks upon the world. If you hold each of these videos to your ear in succession, you will hear the whisper of a documentary narrator doing vocal exercises. At that point, you should go to bed.
Happy New Year.
