I keep going in and out of a rut in my life. There are days when I wake up and love my new job and love the lack of stress involved in my previous position and I just love life in general. Then there are days I wake up and feel absolutely abyssal about my life and want to kill myself for taking this job. Today is one of those bad days.
The differences here and where I used to work are pretty big.
I don't really like my coworkers as much. They're all just so cold and uninterested in making any sort of social talk. Any small talk is as welcomed as the freaking flu. So I feel pretty much alone for 9-10 hours a day, and any interactions with them are cringeful to say the least. This is especially painful, because my coworker at my last job was basically like a second mother to me, and I felt really close to her, enough to the point where I shared basically anything with her, and she could share anything with me. I also get dirty looks when I leave work before them. I put in just as many hours as they do (I skip my lunch or take less than 5 minutes to do it), and yet they're surprised when I can leave at 5-6 at night, and they leave at 7 because they took an hour and a half for a lunch break.
Yet, I don't have the same level of moral stress at where I used to work. Not like we were unethical or anything, but one of the partners was so slow in getting stuff finished that people would call EVERY DAY, and I hated geting "criers" or "ragers" on the phone.
On the other hand, my job duties were more well defined where I used to work. I wore a lot of hats, but I knew what I was doing everyday, and felt confident in my abilities to handle everything. Here, I'm just begging for work to be handed to me. I don't have any permanent clients yet, and they just seem to be giving me busy work that they're too uninterested in doing. I miss being the head of my area.
But my god, the salary pay here is nearly double what I was making before, and I'm doing less work! D:
To counter that, however, I'm spending a fortune in gas traveling and don't have the financial stability to afford an apartment yet. I'm close, but it will be a few more months. Not even going to move until my probation period is over though.
I'm also not confident in my job security anymore. Without going into too much detail, I feel like it's more than just a coincidence that my probation period ends right around the end of tax season, and I'm the third person to fill this seat in 3 years. I also don't know if they really like me or not (see above about coworkers), so I may not have a job come the end of the season. They all get a vote on whether to keep me or not, and I'm not sure about how it will fall.
I LOVE my boss though. He's a really nice guy with a good sense of humor and is just really nice to me. He also gets work done FAST and actually returns his messages/calls. Unlike my previous boss, who I wanted to slap several times a day.
The technology here is running Windows XP. I have a monitor the size of my head, and they use software that is no longer being supported by companies anymore (or even are in business anymore).
Their filing system is god-teir though. I know where EVERYTHING is.
Working Saturdays through tax season sucks.
I want to complain about all of this to my family and hopefully get them to understand why I may only work here for a year or less, but when I explained this to my mother, I got a scoff and a "OMG, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT!!!".