Look down. Further down. Even further. Ok, now you're staring at your crotch, that's too far down. Look up a bit. See that 'Who's online' list down there? See my name in red? Guess what that means, bitches. It means I own you! You are all my little pawns. Your small petty lives are in my hands. Dance for me, puppets, dance!
I shall rule with an iron fist and send my legions of nerds and losers out to conquer more lands for their master. Today the org, tomorrow 4chan. The following day slashdot and a sneak attack on ebaums. Perhaps a weekend offensive against Something Awful. And next tuesday, THE INTERNET! Sure, some of you may die. Considering how fat an out of shape otaku are, most of you will probably die actually. Your tragic pitiful shell of a life cut down in it's prime, your future hopes and dreams destroyed, your skills forever denied the world due all due to a power mad dictator. Think of it not as death, but as the final sacrifice you make to prove your love to me, your lord and master. Or, alternatively, just think of dying on some battlefield as preferable to watching me gut and rape anyone you care about. Love me, fear me, whatever. As long as you obey me. You death will be tragic and the loses of war will be horrible. I'm ok with that though. I can live with it.
The power! THE ABSOLUTE POWER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA
huf huf huf huf
Fucking cigarettes be sapping my evil laugh. Someone hand me an inhaler please.