
and I don't even want to know what kind of stuff godix owns

DivineQueenYeiweh wrote:Yahweh God would be a better summon
FedUpWithFaith wrote: I don't have a personal religion. But if I did it would probably involve worshipping my penis. My penis is always there for me and gives me more pleasure than Jesus ever could. It is capable of seemingly miraculous changes in size, shape, and color and performs two completely unique functions! It always wakes up before I do, having often pleasantly influenced my dreams as I slept rather than scaring me with threats of hellfire like Yahweh.
My penis can read my mind and I never need to speak aloud to it like God. And my penis has a mind of its own and often gives me useful silent suggestions or commandments to obey. I usually follow my penis, like most men. It demands my worship but threatens no punishments when I fall short of its expectations, and so far, it rarely falls short of mine. Its rewards are heavenly and bountiful. As long as I use my reason, it seldom leads me astray, unlike blind faith. I trust my penis and it seems to trust me.
I have never witnessed God create anything. But I know my penis helped create two fine boys now coming of age to obey their own lord and master - their penis. I feel blessed that my wife has always respected my penis and is attentive to it. She also seems awed by it's miraculous powers to provide pleasure in her holey cathedrals of worship. She may pray to it in different ways than I do, but at its essence, my penis is love. For me, this is yet greater testimony to the spiritual power of my penis. My penis is my god.
Amen
P.S. God is unworthy of the love I have for my penis.