My first fully produced song "Decisions"....

[Flint the Dwarf]

I would like to add a verse if I may

*ahem*

But it ain't about how hard you hit
it is about how hard
you can get hit and keep moving forward
how much can you take and
keep moving forward

[Psygnius]

My Opinion: I do agree with a lot of the other statements mentioned.

The beginning, "There comes a time.....Or be the hunted.", the voice is either synthesized or there is a group saying it together. Either way, it sounds like a group saying it together. I think it would have more impact if only one voice (with a reverb or echo) can be heard instead of multiple voices, and also, it would sound a bit better if the voice starts one measure earlier instead of where it currently is.

The vocalist sounds like he used influences from System of the Down, and possibly either Rob Zombie or Stone Temple Pilots. Not too shabby.

Either the lyrics need some work, or the singing melody may need some adjustments. The syllable count on some of those verses are definitely off, and doesn't fit the general 16-measure music standard much.

The ending, referring to the fade-out. That's not a good way to end the song. The band can show some creativity in this area. A fade-out says "we're too lazy to make a good ending rift". Make the song stand out at the end. For example, mellow out the instruments to only a guitar rift, and then repeat the lone voice saying "Are you going to be hunt, or be the hunted", with an echo trailing it.

Overall, the piece can use some touchups, but not the worst thing I've ever heard. This piece, you can definitely tell that it wasn't a professional production.

Hopefully this critique helps you with your future releases, and I hope this can help the lyricist improve his or her future releases.

[Yofe]

i havent hear the song... but the comments of the others only hive me a image of a "bad created homunculus mutilated with arrows by the crow"... omg... dudes, you dont have compassion...
(exepct Psygnius and his constructive critic)

in think in some way, its ok... you learn from your errors (and in this case, you lear from your horrendous errors...)

[nailz]

.. omg... dudes, you dont have compassion...(exepct Psygnius and his constructive critic)

Let me know what you think about the lyrics themselves and then the actual song as a whole.

I don't recall being asked for constructive critizism in the post. I was asked to post what I thought, I posted what I thought. Why should I sugar coat my opinion to bolster the ego of a lyricist and a band that I do not believe deserve it? Why is it MY job to make sure ego's don't get bruised? You don't want to hear the truth, specify that you only want to hear from people who enjoyed whatever it is you're peddling. Otherwise, be prepared for people who do not like everything you do.

[genestarwind21122]

Well Nailz is entitled to his opinion he doesn't speak for everybody here on the forum nor do the people that have posted here either. If they want to bash me they can. The people that want to give constructive feedback will. The others that want to enjoy music that has been produced by a local band and a fellow creator will enjoy it. I feel that I have accomplished something that few creators have done and not too many would consider doing. I think the next song will be a lot better for I have found a new lead singer and that'll be a project in 2008.

[nailz]

I look forward to a more polished attempt.