does any one know

[analspider]

an anime where someone loses someone and turns to self abuse?

[analspider]

or an anime where someone is just a weapon of the government

[EvaFan]

or an anime where someone is just a weapon of the government

If your talking about a girl then this anime will work perfect for you:
Saikano

[EvaFan]

an anime where someone loses someone and turns to self abuse?

I can't really say I remember seeing any animes where people abused themselves because of the losses they have suffered. BUT I can say they in the anime: Solty Rei a bad thing happens that comes pretty close to fitting your description. Of course I'm not going to say exactly what or else I'd be spoiling it.