Is santa real?

General discussion of Anime Music Videos
Locked
User avatar
celibi87
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:48 am
Location: That one place
Org Profile

Is santa real?

Post by celibi87 » Sun Dec 04, 2005 4:51 am

Here it is folks.....the facts have been shown.
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop our of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh an move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75« million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 time the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, the conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas!

Thought i would share this with the wonderful amv community before i go to bed :D

User avatar
JaddziaDax
Crazy Cat Lady!
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:25 am
Status: I live?
Location: Somewhere I think O.o
Contact:
Org Profile

Post by JaddziaDax » Sun Dec 04, 2005 4:57 am

Santa is real... because I believe it

(and i wanted to get in on the fun before it gets locked!! lol)

User avatar
Ileia
WHAT IS PINK MAY NEVER DIE!
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:29 am
Status: ....to completion
Location: On teh Z-drive, CornDog
Contact:
Org Profile

Post by Ileia » Sun Dec 04, 2005 4:58 am

Whoever originally wrote that neglected to factor in magic.
:cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake: :cupcake:

User avatar
requiett
Joined: Mon May 12, 2003 6:49 pm
Location: Alaska
Org Profile

Post by requiett » Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:11 am

..-=OLD.=-..
Image

User avatar
Willen
Now in Hi-Def!
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2005 1:50 am
Status: Melancholy
Location: SOS-Dan HQ
Org Profile

Post by Willen » Sun Dec 04, 2005 8:41 am

You forgot to factor in quantum mechanics.
Having trouble playing back videos? I recommend: Image

User avatar
bum
17747114553
Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2003 9:56 pm
Org Profile

Post by bum » Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:01 am

requiett wrote:..-=OLD.=-..
Image
I remember seeing it last xmass

User avatar
Kristyrat
Time-traveling penguin
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2004 7:31 pm
Status: Lies and fish
Location: Igloo
Contact:
Org Profile

Post by Kristyrat » Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:59 am

The status of this thread is win.

[Kristyrat]
Image

User avatar
Fall_Child42
has a rock
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2004 6:32 pm
Status: Veloci-tossin' to the max!
Location: Jurassic Park
Org Profile

Post by Fall_Child42 » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:03 am

That is because the legends got it wrong. Santa never used raindeer that would be stupid. Santa used the Majestical Flying Quaggas Foo!
Image
Image

User avatar
DeinReich
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:40 am
Location: College
Org Profile

Post by DeinReich » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:21 am

...I think someone had WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much time on their hands.
Image

User avatar
inthesto
Beef Basket
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2004 10:27 am
Status: PARTIES
Location: PARTIES
Org Profile

Post by inthesto » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:56 am

Image

Locked

Return to “General AMV”