If anime were on Peter Griffin's TV...

[megaman917]

KZZZZZT

Announcer: "ARSENE LUPIN THE 3RD, COME ON DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON "THE PRICE IS RIGHT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lupin: Who me?

//Lights go out. then 1 minute later//

Bob Barker: Lupin, I hear you're.......................
Bob barker: Wait a minute he's gone! and so are all our prizes!

Zenigata: LUPIN! WHERE ARE YOU? (Zenigata storms the stage, while Jigen, Geomon, and Fujiko quietly exit)

Bob Barker: SECURITY!

Zenigata: HEY! LET GO OF ME! I GOT TO CATCH................

KZZZZZT

Stan: OH MY GOD! PIKACHU KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: YOU BASTARD!

Pikachu: Pika! Pika!

KZZZZZT

"IT'S HAM-HAM TIME!"

"HAMSTERDON"
"HAMSTERDACTYL"
"HAMCERATOPS"
"HAMSTER-TOOTH-TIGER"
"HAM-HAM-A-SAURUS"

"GO GO HAM-HAM RANGERS"
"GO GO .................

KZZZZZT

..................If you see or have any information leading to the arrest of Vash The Stampede call us at 1-800-CRIME-TV. There is $$60 Billion reward for his arrest and capture. For America's Most Wanted, I'm...................

KZZZZZT

[OtakuMan22]

KZZZZZZZZZZT

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOM :SCREECH:

Pikachu
(Electrius Cutie-Wootius)

PIKA PIKA!

VROOOOOOOOoooooooom vvvvvvvvVVVVRRROOOOM :SCREECH:

Jessie and James
(Rottenus Dumbassius)

VRRRRRRROOoooooom

KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

:Ryu from Street Fighter 2 walking down a long highway:

I am SO lost!

KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

B-Ko: YOU CAN NEVER C-KO, A-KO! SHE'S MINE!

A-Ko: Why you stuck up BITCH! I'm gonna... GAAAH!

Quagmire: HEY THERE CUTIES! You two gonna get it on?

A-Ko: What the... NO!

B-Ko: Preposterous! I'm gonna destroy her and make C-Ko mine!

Quagmire: I like where this is going! Giggity Giggity!

KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

:Kamui on top of Tokyo Tower, talking to himself:

The Seven Dragons of Heaven and The Seven Dragons of Earth. If nothing is done, then the end of the world is ni... COUGH... HACK...COUGH...GOD....COUGH...DAMN SAKURA PETAL DOWN MY THROAT!

KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

Peter: Oh come on Joe, let us help out!

Quagmire and Cleveland: Yeah!

Joe: Ohhhh no! Last time I let you guys help out with my policework, it caused a heluva lot of trouble!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aramaki: Joe! What's the situation?

Joe: We got two armed snipers up on the tower viewing deck. They appear to have hostages!

Aramaki: Quagmire! What's it like on your end?

Quagmire: giggity giggity...

Aramaki: Quagmire?

Quagmire: that's right baby, take it all off!

Aramaki: QUAGMIRE!

Quagmire: GAH! WHAT?!

Aramaki: What ARE you doing?

Quagmire: Not looking through the Major's eyes while she's undressing if that's what you mean!

Aramaki: ...

Quagmire: Awww crap!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter: Hey! Cleveland and I had nothing to do with that!

Cleveland: He's right. We were backing up Batou!

Joe: Maybe so, but that still doesn't excuse you two from when you tried helping me catch those street racers!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VROOOOOM! VROOOOM! WHEEOOO WHEEEOOO WHEEOOO

Peter: YOU IN THE GRAY '86 TOYOTA TRUENO, PULL OVER RIGHT NOW!

Cleveland: Peter, if he doesn't slow down, we're going to be in serious trouble! There are hairpin turns up ahead!

Peter: Aw, don't worry Cleveland! I used to be an excellent driver. I'm a good driver! Definitly a good driver!

Cleveland:

Peter: ... Bail?

Cleveland: BAIL!

:they jump out of the car as the cop car crashes with the '86:

Takumi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHH!

:KABOOOM!:

:Peter and Cleveland view the wreck as a sleek yellow sports car zooms by and honks:

Cleveland: Fork it over!

Peter: DAMMIT!

Cleveland: :counts money: I told yah he was gonna win!

KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

~Otaku-Man

[OtakuForLife]

Welcome to the Catgirl Channel..
:audio:Yesss... um.... Yes....ahahah
Put it in [Female voice] .....ahhhhh

ZZZZZZZ

It seems it's getting closer... OMG it's a gayest robot I've
ever scene I would rather be crushed by the incoming angle
then be driving that thing.

ZZZZZZZ

[shamless ripoff]
Giant Robo I chose you!

ZZZZZZZ

And we're back to The CLAMP posing to dramtic music competiton....
Now in er.... in it's fourth hour....

ZZZZZZZZ

Ok welcome to IRON Chef!!
Today's spiecal ingredent is [raises the curtian] MENCHI!

ZZZZZZZZ

Welcome back to Dr.Phil, herro you keep threating your girlfirend
with bodly harm are you actually going to go through with it or
is it just a deeper metfore for killing her virginity.

[EmilLang1000]

(Peter, Cleveland, and Joe are driving in Joe's police car)

Peter: Hey, where's Quagmire?

Cleveland: He said something about a kid trying to pick a fight with him or something at the Clam...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quagmire: Hey, kid, what's this all about?

Naruto: You are very powerful, maybe even better than Jiraiya-Sama himself, but I will definitely defeat you!

Quagmire: What the hell -

Naruto: Sexy-no-Justsu!

(BAMF) *smooch*

Quagmire: Heh-heh. Alright.

Naruto: WTF? NINJA HAREM!

(BAMFBAMFBAMF)

Quagmire: Hey, I like where this is going... Giggadygiggady GIG-a-DEE!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Furiiza flies overhead at a high speed. Joe pulls him over.)

Joe: Okay freaky boy, I caught you exceeding the speed limit by at LEAST 250, and on top of that, flying in a No-Flying zone - without a plane!

Furiiza: Well I was just -

Joe: And what's with the lipstick? You going to a Rocky Horror show or something?

Furiiza: FOOL! I AM THE GREAT LORD FURIIZA YOU STUPID MONKEY! MY POWER IS THOUSANDS OF TIMES GREATER THAN YOURS! I WILL CONQUER YOUR PUNY PLANET IN MERE -

(Joe shoots him in the face) *BLAM*

Joe: (Into walkie-talkie) Suspect down!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian: I wonder what's on TV...

KZZZZT

We now return to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!

Kaworu: Tch. Well, I don't know about you, but this whole tough-guy look has GOT TO GO~! And the spikey hair? Puh-leaaase! That is SO passe!

Toji: Okay... who are you and what are you doing in my house?

KZZZZT

Kamon: You mean you wish you WERE a lesbian, because grammatically -
KZZZZT

(BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS, WATCHA GONNA DO?)

We know return to COPS!

Zenigata: Crapcrapcrap, where the Heck did he go!? And ontop of all things, they put a obunty on his head, so know every looney'll be after him. I swear, when I get my hands on Lupin I'll -

Cameraman: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?

Zenigata: What the - OH CRAP!

(The Swordfish goes flying into the cop car.)

KZZZZT

[megaman917]

KZZZZZT

Rei: OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Asuka: YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES!

Rei: *breathing heavily* MORE! MORE! MORE!
Asuka: RIGHT THERE! THAT'S THE SPOT! MMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rei: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!
Asuka: UHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T STOP!

Rei: OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD YES!
Asuka: *breathing heavily* UHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rei & Asuka: YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rei & Asuka: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Asuka & Rei walk out of a building*
Rei: *smiles and blushes* Umm, Asuka?
Asuka: Yeah, Rei?
Rei: *smiles and blushes* Uh, when can we do this again?
Asuka: We can come here and get our hair washed again tomorrow.
Rei: *smiles and blushes* I'd like that.

NEW HERBAL ESSESCENSES SHAMPOO, NOW IN FIVE NEW....................

KZZZZZT


NEW AXE BODY WASH FOR MEN.
HOW DIRTY BOYS GET CLEAN.

KZZZZZT

If you think that your half demon boyfriend is cheating on you call us here at the Jerry Springer Show and you can be a guest.

KZZZZZT

Xzibit: Yo, Deathscythe got new speakers in the armor, fish tanks in the cockpit, sattelit TV on all you panels, the works.

Duo: Thanks MTV for pimping my ride.

KZZZZZT

WITH A KEEN EYE FOR DETAIL, ONE TRUTH PREVAILS ON THE NEXT.........
Scooby: SCOOBY DOOBY DOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(reference to Cased Closed)

KZZZZZT

Kagome: Inuyasha, SIT BOY!
Inuyasha: HEY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!!!!!!
Kagome: I need to treat your injuries. Now take off your kimono.
*Kagome sits on top of Inuyasha*
Inuyasha: Nothing doing.
Kagome: Come on, you got seriously injured yesterday in several places. You need first aid. Now get undressed!
*Kagome sits on top of Inuyasha fighting with him to get his clothes off*
Inuyasha: WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!
Kagome: I SAID GET UNDRESSED!
TROJAN MAN!

KZZZZZT

[Bardiel13]

KZZZZT

Ooooh... Who pilots an EVA in Tokyo-3?
ASUKA LANGLEY!!!
So violent and curvy and sexy is she.
ASUKA LANGLEY!!!
For her to bear my children is somehing I wish!
ASUKA LANGLEY!!!
And once I'm through with Rei I'm gonna make her my bit-

KZZZZZT

[Garylisk]

Isn't this kinda like the Gundam Wing parody that got posted a long time ago?

Relena: I really like you, Heero.
Heero: I'm going to kill you.
(We wish he would)
Duo: I really like you, Heero. I've been captured.
Heero: I'm going to kill you.
(We kind of wish they'd get it on istead.)
Quatre: I'm really rich and ambiguously gay. I really like you Heero.
Heero: I probably will kill you anyway.
(We don't think he will)
Trowa: ...
Heero: Now THAT'S annoying, I think I'll kill you.
(Maybe Trowa would talk then)
WuFei: I really don't like you, Heero! And I have no right to pilot Nataku!
Heero: Let's kill each other!
(That would be interesting)
Quatre: Hey! We need to unite and defeat Oz!
(They do)
Relena: Oh my god, Zechs Marquise is my brother!
Zechs: I have beautiful woman hair.
Treize: (Insert long speech about glory/honor of battle here)
Heero: You know, I should kill you...
(He does)
(Zechs takes a vacation to Hawaii and lies on the beach)
Zechs: I am "Zechs on the Beach" HAHA!
Heero: This time I WILL kill you!
(He REALLY should...)

THE END

HOLY CRAP! I WROTE THAT AGES AGO! WHERE DID YOU FIND IT, AND ARE MY OTHER ONES IN THERE WITH IT????

[Bardiel13]

Double Post, I know, but this one just came to me after dinner.

KZZZZT
Kaneda: TETSUO!!!

Tetsuo:What?

Kaneda: Look what you've done! You've gotten your right arm blown off, you're turning into a giant, fleshy blob and you've just squished your own girlfriend!

Tetsuo: What?! NOT KAORI-CHAN!!!

Kaneda: But, I dohave good news...

Tetsuo: *sob* What?

Kaneda: I just saved a whole bunch on my motorcycle ensurance, by switching to Geico!

[EXODO]

Brian and Peter getting into Peter's can. Peter totally wasted trying to put the key on the car.

Brian:
Peter I dont think you should drink and drive. Remember the last time you did that you almost destroy the world.

FlashBack

Sailor Moon:
I will punish you in the name of the...

In that moment Peter hits Sailor Moon with his car come out running and says:

Peter:
Oh, Jesus. Am so sorry am soooooooo sorry. I didnt see you there.

[EXODO]

Peter and Louis an indian casino. Peter holds two Jacks.

Peter:
I wonder if I should bet it all.

Sudendlly the image of Pharaon appears behind him.

Pharaon:
Trust in the hearts of the cards Peter.

Peter bets all his chips and looses to a full house. Pharaon appears again.

Pharaon:
Holy shit! You really did it.