you should work with dvd, raw, mkv/ogm footage
or crop the subs
subs in amvs = bad
well actually they are okay when they translate the song
anyway
you should try to synch the beat nexttime
like scenechangin after a sound highlight
we`ve got some awsome guids here on a-m-v.org
which explain how to do amvs the good way

( technically )
http://www.animemusicvideos.org/guides/avtech/
how you synch your amv
and how it will look in the end
is up to you
you`ve done the first step
now it`s up to you if you wanna get
an awsome amv creator
or just a 1 video creator
oh and btw i don`t know ALOT of ppl who do their amvs in 2 days
just an exsample
PX32 - FSB
this amv took him almost 2 years
but actually.... nvm
i did my mahoro amv in 2 days too
zest - sugurus sweet memories
well my opinion is:
good anime
good song
( it`s really good that you didn´t make a dragonball amv with linkinpark )
you only did the things wrong that everybody does at his / her first try
well i am lookin forward to new stuff from you
i hope i was able to help you a lil`