Murphy vs AMV Editors

General discussion of Anime Music Videos
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TaranT
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Murphy vs AMV Editors

Post by TaranT » Thu Sep 23, 2004 2:56 am

I stole this from sixstop's LJ (he's one of the honchos at this weekend's AWA so he won't notice for awhile :wink: ).


Murphy's laws of video editing

1: First attempts to video-edit will always take place either "soon" or "next weekend."
a: Attempts will take place at least 1 year after seeing the initial cost to get started.
exception 1: whereas the editor uses mommy's computer.
exception 2: whereas the editor is enrolled in a technical college
exception 3: whereas a broadband connection of greater than 1mbs and a familiarity with IRC file serving or Bit Torrent exists.

2: Any clip used is half as long as you think it is, and twice as long as it needs to be.
a: the gap between the two is greater the slower your song is.

3: Law of conservation of computer parts: If you take apart two computers and put them back together enough times, you will be left with only one computer.
a: it will do exactly half of what you need it to do at half the speed you hoped.

4: An editor that uses more than one computer monitor in a setup is an arrogant tech geek with deep pockets.
a: . . .who also produces at a rate less than one video a year.
b: . . . who can't get Warcraft to run properly.

5: Any editor who wins an award is an eleetist jerk.
a: They will be known as a bigger eleetist jerk the more conventions they attend, message boards they frequent, etc.
b: those who bestow the title are those who have never won an award.

6: Reel-to-reel nirvana syndrome: any past use of analog editing equipment to complete a video automatically equates with enlightenment as a video editor.
a: it also means a crippling inability to understand or implement newer technology.

7: Sound Decompression past 2 feet: Despite the $10,000 audio setup at a convention, the music sounds better on your computer speakers at home.
a: your video lost the contest because of the sound quality.

8: Foundation for perpetuated obscurity theorum 1: nobody knows who Corn Pone Flicks is.

9: Foundation for perpetuated obscurity theorum 2: nobody knows your studio name.
a: nobody wants to know your studio name.
1. they dont want to know it as much in direct corellation with exactly how cool you think the studio name is.

10. An AMV fan is lazy.
a. an AMV fan with DSL/ fast internet is exceptionally lazy.
1. and has never seen an AMV on a TV set.
exception: an AMV fan who has ever tape-traded to get AMVs is not lazy.

11. Law of tweaking. To make two computers play a video the same way, shoot one.

12. Half completed project files are first in line to be lost when performing any computer upgrade, regardless of which component.
a. Analog reels will be the first thing moved by the last person to use the editing station, or vcr, and therefore the first thing lost during a project.
b. Source footage will be the first thing missing, followed by the cleanest copy of the source audio.
1: both will be lost twice as fast if they are borrowed.

13: Your ability to edit ebbs with direct correlation to the time until a deadline.
a: in the absence of actual editing, your apathy will do the same.

14: When meeting a creator, their physical appearance will be completely opposite of everything you expect them to be.
a. It will be the 'worst' kind of opposite you imagined.
exception: EK.

15: Those with the greatest creative potential have an inverse proportion of technical skill to use eiditng tools.
a: extreme cases show computer failure and tape eating when such an individual enters a room with said equipment.

16: 90% of all video ideas will never be completed
a: 95% off all video ideas SHOULD never be completed.

17: Artificial Sun's observation on editing trends: Some editors live at 60 frames-per-second.

18: Circumlocution law: Minimalist eiditing was necessary because of the technology available. Minimalist editing is now necessary in spite of the technology available.

19: No unused tool principal. Any button in After Effects than can be pushed, will be.
a: use of a Mac precludes this reflex.

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AquaSky
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Post by AquaSky » Thu Sep 23, 2004 7:17 am

Ha, good stuff. Got a few laughs out of it, to be sure.

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DrngdKreationz
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Post by DrngdKreationz » Thu Sep 23, 2004 8:39 am

I guess I exist to break half of those laws ... But that is funny shit!

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Scintilla
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Re: Murphy vs AMV Editors

Post by Scintilla » Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:09 am

TaranT wrote:8: Foundation for perpetuated obscurity theorum 1: nobody knows who Corn Pone Flicks is.
Hey! I have a funny "Christmas at Ground Zero" video by Corn Pone Vids... but I don't think it's listed here...
ImageImage
:pizza: :pizza: Image :pizza: :pizza:

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SQ
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Post by SQ » Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:14 am

That was hilarious!

But I live to break rule 5.

An exception should be if you don't show off your awards. ^_^
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Pyle
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Re: Murphy vs AMV Editors

Post by Pyle » Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:25 am

TaranT wrote:
13: Your ability to edit ebbs with direct correlation to the time until a deadline.
a: in the absence of actual editing, your apathy will do the same.

14: When meeting a creator, their physical appearance will be completely opposite of everything you expect them to be.
a. It will be the 'worst' kind of opposite you imagined.
exception: EK.

19: No unused tool principal. Any button in After Effects than can be pushed, will be.
a: use of a Mac precludes this reflex.
XD
XD
XD

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OtakuMegane
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Re: Murphy vs AMV Editors

Post by OtakuMegane » Thu Sep 23, 2004 1:07 pm

TaranT wrote: 2: Any clip used is half as long as you think it is, and twice as long as it needs to be.
How very true. :shock:
TaranT wrote:6: Reel-to-reel nirvana syndrome: any past use of analog editing equipment to complete a video automatically equates with enlightenment as a video editor.
a: it also means a crippling inability to understand or implement newer technology.
Yeah, but I'm learning.
TaranT wrote:16: 90% of all video ideas will never be completed
a: 95% off all video ideas SHOULD never be completed.
See, I avoid this by applying the rule before I start. :D
TaranT wrote:18: Circumlocution law: Minimalist eiditing was necessary because of the technology available. Minimalist editing is now necessary in spite of the technology available.

19: No unused tool principal. Any button in After Effects than can be pushed, will be.
a: use of a Mac precludes this reflex.
This is why I use Quicktime Player Pro for editing and Photoshop for effects. Works quite nicely.
macedon wrote:This goes double for anything with Kevin Caldwell, as any evidence of His Resurrection would be greeted by the Believers and give the world hope now that the Lord has Arisen once more.

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MomochiZabuza
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Post by MomochiZabuza » Thu Sep 23, 2004 3:02 pm

ha! how hilarious and true at the same time

ya know except about the editors being nothing of what you expected
im everything you expected...unless you think of me as tall and over the age of 15...
Yes I am God

http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members ... hp?v=67903
... apparently it's awesome

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Pwolf
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Re: Murphy vs AMV Editors

Post by Pwolf » Thu Sep 23, 2004 6:14 pm

TaranT wrote:4: An editor that uses more than one computer monitor in a setup is an arrogant tech geek with deep pockets.
a: . . .who also produces at a rate less than one video a year.
b: . . . who can't get Warcraft to run properly.
first off, i use two monitors, i'm not arrogant and i'm a poor college student. Second, i've created 5 videos this year? i need to count again, i forgot already. Also, i can get Warcraft to run perfectly fine :P


Pwolf

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Otohiko
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Post by Otohiko » Thu Sep 23, 2004 6:16 pm

I have two monitors on my desk, and one of them is always off. I tried editing with it, and then forgot to turn it on once... and I haven't remembered about turning it on since then...

That's because I found it utterly useless, even if it looks cool to have two screens :roll:
The Birds are using humanity in order to throw something terrifying at this green pig. And then what happens to us all later, that’s simply not important to them…

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