Exeunt

Tab. · Post by **Tab.** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 8:44 am

I've been thinking lately... about my affiliations, my interests, what I do...
It's been prompted by several things... the brilliant people around me, Hatter's abrasive insistence, ErMaC's retirement...
I've come to realize, I'm not doing anything. I encode. Hoo-boy. Encoding. Anyone can encode. Don't believe any poor attempts by anyone to make what they do sound like more than button-pushing. Encoding is not an art. It's entirely methodical, all it requires is time, knowledge, and some good educated guesses. If anyone is using intuition or inspirational guidance to encode... well, I'd be a bit worried about the output.
All in all, it's pretty stupid.
The fact of the matter is, a long time ago I became sidetracked. When I first started making AMVs at age 14, I realized how incredibly essential technical knowledge was to the production process. In time, I became so caught up in perfecting that first essential aspect, that it drew my interest away from my original intent; to create AMVs like the ones I watched. In a way, it was almost a cop out -- I just found the methodical nature of encoding easier than producing a perfectly-edited AMV, as I wouldn't settle for less than perfect (one of the reasons I've yet to release anything serious... more on that later). Aside from that, I found comparing and competing for quality fascinating. Over the past three years that area of my interest has ballooned.
Yet, all of a sudden, it seems... stupid. What kind of worth has a skill such as that? None. And further, I'm not ever actually... creating anything. Never producing anything of merit or worth. The knowledge is essentially useless except for a very niché field.
Granted, the ability to edit anime to music is largely worthless as well. Which is why I plan on exploring other venues. That's the point of this post. I'm taking a vacation from the community for awhile and dissolving my online persona until I get myself straightened out. The place has provided me with much in the two years that I've been an active member, and I don't plan on being gone forever. However, I do not plan to return until I have found a way and created something incredible.

A less significant contribution to my leave of absence is the fact that I really hate having to fight an uphill battle for no reason to support my opinions, and I can see that's what's going to continue happening. I dislike the thought that every word of mine is under scrutiny and likely to be criticized, whether for a good reason or (more likely) not. The stress of a battle over everything that I have found to be true is not something I wish to deal with. The opinions I have are chosen carefully and as a result of experience, and I represent them as I do to the community because they are what I know as fact. Yet, what I say is constantly being replaced with misinformation and mistruth (mpeg-4 recompresses better than mpeg-1... RealVideo is unworthy as a codec... and so on), and the deciever is incorrigible. I am forfeiting every fight because there is no way for me to win, and no way for my word to earn any respect from the opposer. I can only hope to god his future points will be well chosen and factual and that nobody dare to correct him.
That said, his point of the true blandness of encoding ability alone is well taken when reconsidered in the grand scope of things. Again, my reason for seeking something more... a creative medium. For forcing me to consider that, I suppose I owe him some thanks.

Back to me, I feel my focus has been wasted on technical things for too long. I've neglected to nurture a creative side, something I did have at one point, however many years ago. Very much so my largest vice is an inability... a wall between my imagination, and the tools I have to express it. Aside from that, I'm a perfectionist... which translates to obsessing over detail and trying to plot the hundreds of possibilities so meticulously that none of them ever become fully developed.
Which brings me to my next point.
You'll notice that I have no videos listed except the "FINAL" series, two joke videos that some of the community is familiar with, and some not. Sadly, an already discussed member has himself convinced these where earnest attempts... even though one is clearly lesbian porn and the other a one-second long sequence repeated over three and a half minutes of music. The same sequence, mind you. No lipsynch was done. That was actually the point of the AMV... I noticed while viewing the sequence as a gif that it synched to anything, hence I decided to share the love :p
The second was just a stupid "hey, I'm watching lesbian porn and it's synching to this song. I have a good idea..."
But FINAL and FINAL 2 aren't the point. The point is, seldom known, I have actually made three videos over the course of my time here, one a completed short, the second a mostly-complete but abandoned project, and the third a fully completed AMV that wound up sucking too much to release. Granted, I can partially excuse the latter with the fact that I was working with one half-hour of footage for a three and a half minute song, and despite that there were some pretty fuckin' cool parts. I've also taken part in both Mission Improbable projects, my first performance being far better than my one-night straight-cuts second. Other than that I've done a few public codec comparisons and created a number of informational threads, most of which still exist in General Video and Video Software Help under either this name, or my former RadicalEd0.

On that note, the question remains for some of you as to what will become of the "alt formats" segment of the updated EAD(T?)FAG. I do still intend to contribute. However, I'm currently using an upcoming Helix update as an excuse to procrastinate work on it. The general layout will most likely not be as is currently seen on the beta guides main page, but something more along the lines of this, which you'll see I've also doctored a bit in other ways :p
All in all, you may see a silent update from me some time over the next few weeks.

But other than that, I've wasted 2/3 of the summer, and I need to get my shit together as of August 1. Repeating the fact once more: I won't return until I've created something stellar. .There's also a great chance this is the most serious and sincere you'll ever see me on this forum. I'm not going to bother with replies, so neither should you. That said, au 'voir homiez.

Voices_Of_Ryan · Post by **Voices_Of_Ryan** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 8:48 am

If you even show up before you have, we'll try and have you killed

thanks.

nailz · Post by **nailz** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 9:11 am

I SOLVED THE MYSTERY!!

trythil · Post by **trythil** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 9:58 am

"exeunt" is the wrong word, since everyone is not exiting.

Have fun with what you choose to do, though.

Savia · Post by **Savia** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 11:17 am

trythil wrote:"exeunt" is the wrong word, since everyone is not exiting.

Have fun with what you choose to do, though.

From his perspective, maybe we all are

Anyhow, I second the message- enjoy life.

SnhKnives · Post by **SnhKnives** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 12:27 pm

Hope you find some Inner Peace Tab, Thanks for all the help you gave me when i was starting out.

aznfs · Post by **aznfs** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 1:15 pm

yea thanks for all the advice and advice that came with sarcasm for me while i was too lazy to find the answer for myself

Scintilla · Post by **Scintilla** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 8:09 pm

trythil wrote:"exeunt" is the wrong word, since everyone is not exiting.

If by "everyone" you mean "more than one person", then yes.