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Sporkmaster
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Beta video

Post by Sporkmaster » Sun May 02, 2004 9:53 pm

Just a sample of what I have been working on, the anime is listed as hentai but it is very mild compared to most, but you have been warned.

http://collegeclubrefugee.com/images/AM ... 20beta.mpg
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Post by angelx03 » Sun May 02, 2004 9:55 pm

Like how mild?
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Post by Sporkmaster » Sun May 02, 2004 9:55 pm

Suggest and implied.
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Post by Sporkmaster » Sun May 02, 2004 9:58 pm

Cutesy is probably what best describes The Elven Bride. The plot is simple -- our newlyweds have to find some way to consummate their marriage! Whether it's venturing to uncharted territories or trying out different positions, Kenji and Milfa are ready to try just about anything. I felt a bit sorry for the two, seeing how much they love each other and all. Their relationship is on the sweet and wholesome side (quite a rarity in most hentai anime), as most young couples go.

From http://www.animetric.com/def/eb.html
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Post by Rozard » Sun May 02, 2004 11:49 pm

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Post by pen-pen2002 » Mon May 03, 2004 11:42 am

Work in progress threads should be posted in the oppinion forum (read the sticky.)

Personally I wish people would do more of these cause I like to give suggestions that have a high chance of being implemented as oposed to kept in mind for next time, mose satisfying that way.

This video was well done but it was slightly confusing in terms of plot and chronology. You should probably assume that your audeince has not seen the series/movie so you should take pains to make the plot clear. With an instrumental peice like this, titles can be very useful. I'm not sure exactly what the conflict was or what was supposed to be the present and what was flashback. Why were the kids first leaving food then throwing rocks? This video sems to have a split plot, first the two trying to consumate thier marrige but having trouble with something (embaressment?) and secondly, the man trying to resist temtation when he is taken captive by beutiful women (or harpies as the case may be.) The order of these events is unclear. It shows the harpies at the begining and at the end and it's so mixed up that I have to watch the ears to keep track of who is who.

Another issue is the trasitions. WAY to many effects. Classic case of kid in a candy store, you don't have to use them all! There are some that are nice like when the screen flips in time to the music at 0:47 and one other place but there are a lot of suplurfluios ones than you need to cut down on because they are distracting in some cases and unproffesional. As far as effects go your alright though, the greyscale at 1:10 was exelent. Watch the blackness around 1:20, try fading instead. 1:30 is good too. the shuffle is really distracting at 1:46. You reuse a bit of footage but it's not bad because you show more the second time. The effect at 0:04 and the untying of the sash at 0:08 were also high points. Timing was good, especially when you timed the ears to the music, that was amusing.

The most important thing is to get a solid concept, try not to show too much just make sure you get the theme across to the viewer. Good luck.
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Post by AMV_4000 » Mon May 03, 2004 12:53 pm

pen-pen2002 wrote:Work in progress threads should be posted in the oppinion forum (read the sticky.)

Personally I wish people would do more of these cause I like to give suggestions that have a high chance of being implemented as oposed to kept in mind for next time, mose satisfying that way.

This video was well done but it was slightly confusing in terms of plot and chronology. You should probably assume that your audeince has not seen the series/movie so you should take pains to make the plot clear. With an instrumental peice like this, titles can be very useful. I'm not sure exactly what the conflict was or what was supposed to be the present and what was flashback. Why were the kids first leaving food then throwing rocks? This video sems to have a split plot, first the two trying to consumate thier marrige but having trouble with something (embaressment?) and secondly, the man trying to resist temtation when he is taken captive by beutiful women (or harpies as the case may be.) The order of these events is unclear. It shows the harpies at the begining and at the end and it's so mixed up that I have to watch the ears to keep track of who is who.

Another issue is the trasitions. WAY to many effects. Classic case of kid in a candy store, you don't have to use them all! There are some that are nice like when the screen flips in time to the music at 0:47 and one other place but there are a lot of suplurfluios ones than you need to cut down on because they are distracting in some cases and unproffesional. As far as effects go your alright though, the greyscale at 1:10 was exelent. Watch the blackness around 1:20, try fading instead. 1:30 is good too. the shuffle is really distracting at 1:46. You reuse a bit of footage but it's not bad because you show more the second time. The effect at 0:04 and the untying of the sash at 0:08 were also high points. Timing was good, especially when you timed the ears to the music, that was amusing.

The most important thing is to get a solid concept, try not to show too much just make sure you get the theme across to the viewer. Good luck.
downloading *if you wanna see my beta vids go to http://amv4000.org/Betas.html *and leave me some pointers please*
now about your vid..

transitions were MAJORLY overused... some noobs might like it because its flashy though... but as for me.. i say lose some of the fashyness... also, did i see trashmatting at the beginning? i really dislike trashmattes.. anyways, other then that, the song is happy, the clips dont really look happy... im glad to not see piano keys... but something needed to go there... anyways, thats my 2 cents on the vid.. other then that i liked it.. aside from it being hentai to a piano song...

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Post by pen-pen2002 » Mon May 03, 2004 1:44 pm

AMV_4000 wrote:im glad to not see piano keys...
*watches Fur Elise beta*

:lol:
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Post by AMV_4000 » Tue May 04, 2004 1:17 am

pen-pen2002 wrote:
AMV_4000 wrote:im glad to not see piano keys...
*watches Fur Elise beta*

:lol:
im not trying to be artistic with Fur Elise..

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Post by Bakadeshi [AuN Studios] » Tue May 04, 2004 6:42 pm

I agree with the others, too many "cliche" transitions. I personally like to just use fades, except where one may be apropriate to the mood of the amv. But they were just too many in yours that was kinda distracting.

Another thing is the AMV kinda lacked a centralised story.... I was confused by what you were trying to say with it. The music is kinda happy, and the scenes and how you presented them were not so happy ;p

0:00-0:09: kinda lost me. started video with 2 winged girls fighting (it apears like) and then suddenly transition to a diferent girl with wings. of course this could be attributed to me knowing nothing about the anime.

00:03 - didn't like this transition, was distracting, and not that profesional

0:10 - 00:37 now its a totally diferent girl again, this time with a guy. Only now its starting to make a little sense, in that there apears to be a relation between them. THis part is done pretty well (effect wise) and no distracting transitions. Apears to be telling a story now. nice slow part to slow part of the song.

0:38 for some reason this scene gives a somewhat disettling feeling. interupts the mood of "love and relationship" to me, especially since its also in Sephia colors.

00:42 Sudden black parts like this is generally not a good idea, it tends to make people feel the vid is incomplete, ot their video player suddenly stoped working, wich effectively kills any mood you set up previously in the AMV, making the viewer have to reget back into the AMV when it starts showing again. If this made any sense. It MAY work if its timed exactly to the piano keys, I would have to see it to comment on it.

00:44 This transition is eh. fade would be better. (especially since the song is still slow. )

0:47 - I liked this one though. Timed to the piano keys. though timing could be refined just a bit, its not dead on.

00:51 - again, picture zooms like this just look unprofesional. better left alone and not used as a transition.

01:02 nice, with the ears timed to the piano, and the eyes.

Btw as a note, the AMV now seems to be primarily about these 2, making the begining sequence seem totally out of place.

01:14-01:16 fades to the piano keys would be better i think. It feels unatural with just black suddenly. Timing could be tighter here aswell if your a perfectionist.
01:18-01:26 Nice timing with the scenes to the music upbeat here, good flow. just needs a little fine tuning, some of the beats are just slightly off, but a good start.

01:36 hmm the girls from the begining are back. now it apears that they are enemies of some sort for some reason? (again my confusion is probably due to me not seeing the anime)

01:46 too flashy, with the shuffle effect here. throws off the flow and mood. again simpler transitions would suffice.

01:56 recycled footage.... hmmm... or it just looks like it. Especially noticable since its the scene that was a bit disettling to me in the begining.

02:00 again too many flashy transitions. repeat after me "simple transitions are better". ;p

02:04 again distracting... though the piano keys do beg something to be synched to them. SOmething less prominant would be better though, that doesn;t totally distract you from the original imahe being shown.


All in all the video has alot of promise, but alot of things need to be tweaked in it IMO. The story, mood and concept is mostly clear throught the middle, but some of the openeing scenes and ones towards the middle-end with the other "unknowns" (the girls for instance) are a bit confusing to one that has not seen the show. Hope this WIP review has helped you in some way.
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Recommended Underated video (Not Mine): Jasper-Isis - Ever Searching

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