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CaTaClYsM
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:54 am
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Post by CaTaClYsM » Tue Dec 02, 2003 12:49 pm

Wow, and to think that eating alot of food is what I've already been doing. For dinner the past 4 nights in a row I've eaten enough bacon to clog the arteries of half the people living on the west coast. And that's not counting the pizza I had for dinner yesterday. :?

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Propyro
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2003 9:09 am
Location: Ontario
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Post by Propyro » Tue Dec 02, 2003 1:39 pm

then move on to plan b ...

move in with some italian grandparents ... if you can spend a few months with them without gaining weight i'll kill you. The amount of food they force you to eat at all times of the day is unreal ...example look at my grandmother ...
my grandmother wrote: OMGWTF YOU HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING IN THE LAST 5 MINUITES!!1! YOUR GOING TO FUCKING STARVE!!1! LOOK I MADE YOU A LITTLE SNACK!!!2!
/she force feeds me a 12 course meal
understand where i'm comming form?

[/|\]

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jonmartensen
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 11:50 pm
Location: Gimmickville USA
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Post by jonmartensen » Tue Dec 02, 2003 1:42 pm

Image

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KhayotiK
Joined: Sun Dec 22, 2002 8:58 pm
Location: Sesame Street.
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Post by KhayotiK » Tue Dec 02, 2003 5:09 pm

CaT, I've been doing a lot of research on becoming fat, as that's one of my goals as well. I've realized that matching a fat man on food intake just doesn't get the job done. You might gain a couple pounds, if you're lucky, but even that doesn't give you the saggy breasts/mattress sized ass you deserve as an american.

The trick to becoming a fatass is licking your fingers. Lick your fingers after everything you eat, even if it's wheat toast, lick your fucking fingers.

What if you don't touch your food with your hands, you say? Lick your fucking fingers anyway. If you want to lick the burrito wrapper just in case, more power to ya, but the secret's in the fingers.
Image Image

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CaTaClYsM
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:54 am
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Post by CaTaClYsM » Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:15 pm

Maybe I could pretend to be schizophrenic and get on some powerful mind altering drugs. I know people that have been turned int fatasses by some of the stuff they use, maybe it'll work for me.
So in other words, one part of the community is waging war on another part of the community because they take their community seriously enough to want to do so. Then they tell the powerless side to get over the loss cause it's just an online community. I'm glad people make so much sense." -- Tab

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Chocobuddha
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2002 10:44 pm
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Post by Chocobuddha » Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:48 pm

Soda. The key to gaining real weight, quick, is soda.

An average person could easily drink two sodas in an hour. Now, let's say that they do this every hour for the sixteen hours that they are awake. That's thirty-two cans of soda at 150 calories each. In case you don't want to do the math, that comes to 4,800 calories; far more than the recommended 2,000 calorie daily intake. If you decarbonate your soda, you could get even farther. Without the carbonation to make you feel full, one might be able to drink four cans in an hour, pushing the caloric total up to 9,600.

Despite all the calories, you will still get hungry for solid food. I recommend getting Marie Callender's frozen dinners. For instance, the fettucine alfredo package doesn't fill you up too much and happens to be about 900 calories. Eat one for breakfast, lunch and dinner and you've racked up an extra 2,700 calories.

Final total for just one day: 12,300 calories. That's enough calories for six people. Not even God Himself could keep the weight off.

...

I'm so bored.

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Savia
Chocolate teapot
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2003 3:40 pm
Location: Reading, UK
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Post by Savia » Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:58 pm

Chocobuddha wrote:Soda. The key to gaining real weight, quick, is soda.

An average person could easily drink two sodas in an hour. Now, let's say that they do this every hour for the sixteen hours that they are awake. That's thirty-two cans of soda at 150 calories each. In case you don't want to do the math, that comes to 4,800 calories; far more than the recommended 2,000 calorie daily intake. If you decarbonate your soda, you could get even farther. Without the carbonation to make you feel full, one might be able to drink four cans in an hour, pushing the caloric total up to 9,600.

Despite all the calories, you will still get hungry for solid food. I recommend getting Marie Callender's frozen dinners. For instance, the fettucine alfredo package doesn't fill you up too much and happens to be about 900 calories. Eat one for breakfast, lunch and dinner and you've racked up an extra 2,700 calories.

Final total for just one day: 12,300 calories. That's enough calories for six people. Not even God Himself could keep the weight off.

...

I'm so bored.
However, dying of caffeine overdose is a potential problem :?

Six bottles (as in the big ones) of Coke is approaching a lethal dose.
"A creator needs only one enthusiast to justify him." - Man Ray
"Restrictions breed creativity." - Mark Rosewater

A Freudian slip is where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

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CaTaClYsM
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:54 am
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Post by CaTaClYsM » Tue Dec 02, 2003 8:02 pm

Chocobuddha wrote:Soda. The key to gaining real weight, quick, is soda.

An average person could easily drink two sodas in an hour. Now, let's say that they do this every hour for the sixteen hours that they are awake. That's thirty-two cans of soda at 150 calories each. In case you don't want to do the math, that comes to 4,800 calories; far more than the recommended 2,000 calorie daily intake. If you decarbonate your soda, you could get even farther. Without the carbonation to make you feel full, one might be able to drink four cans in an hour, pushing the caloric total up to 9,600.

Despite all the calories, you will still get hungry for solid food. I recommend getting Marie Callender's frozen dinners. For instance, the fettucine alfredo package doesn't fill you up too much and happens to be about 900 calories. Eat one for breakfast, lunch and dinner and you've racked up an extra 2,700 calories.

Final total for just one day: 12,300 calories. That's enough calories for six people. Not even God Himself could keep the weight off.

...

I'm so bored.
Any ideas that are a bit more, kideny friendly? I'll definely go with the soda thing though, maybe not quite to that degree but that's genius at work. Now the big question, caffene or no?
So in other words, one part of the community is waging war on another part of the community because they take their community seriously enough to want to do so. Then they tell the powerless side to get over the loss cause it's just an online community. I'm glad people make so much sense." -- Tab

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CaTaClYsM
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:54 am
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Post by CaTaClYsM » Tue Dec 02, 2003 8:04 pm

Savia wrote:
Chocobuddha wrote:Soda. The key to gaining real weight, quick, is soda.

An average person could easily drink two sodas in an hour. Now, let's say that they do this every hour for the sixteen hours that they are awake. That's thirty-two cans of soda at 150 calories each. In case you don't want to do the math, that comes to 4,800 calories; far more than the recommended 2,000 calorie daily intake. If you decarbonate your soda, you could get even farther. Without the carbonation to make you feel full, one might be able to drink four cans in an hour, pushing the caloric total up to 9,600.

Despite all the calories, you will still get hungry for solid food. I recommend getting Marie Callender's frozen dinners. For instance, the fettucine alfredo package doesn't fill you up too much and happens to be about 900 calories. Eat one for breakfast, lunch and dinner and you've racked up an extra 2,700 calories.

Final total for just one day: 12,300 calories. That's enough calories for six people. Not even God Himself could keep the weight off.

...

I'm so bored.
However, dying of caffeine overdose is a potential problem :?

Six bottles (as in the big ones) of Coke is approaching a lethal dose.
I'm doubting that seriously, could we get some math to prove this?
So in other words, one part of the community is waging war on another part of the community because they take their community seriously enough to want to do so. Then they tell the powerless side to get over the loss cause it's just an online community. I'm glad people make so much sense." -- Tab

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Chocobuddha
Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2002 10:44 pm
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Post by Chocobuddha » Tue Dec 02, 2003 8:10 pm

For the love of all that is good, man, no caffeine.

Caffeine is a stimulant, which I'm sure we all know. It increases your metabolism for a short time, which will burn more calories; something that should be avoided if seeking weight gain.

In fact, I would recommend not moving, whatsoever, until your desired weight is reached. Just stay in bed.

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