Post
by azulmagia » Tue Nov 04, 2003 10:18 pm
"When one man dies, it's a tragedy. When a million people die, it's a statistic."
A woman enters a subway car in the Moscow metro. She see the other person there is Comrade Stalin. She asks for a tour of the Kremlin. Stalin pauses, then says, "I believe I can arrange that."
Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are in a train. The train suddenly grinds to a halt. Stalin yells, "Fix this train!" The train is fixed but still won't run. Stalin then yells, "Shoot the engineers!". They are shot but the train is still stuck there. Stalin dies. Khrushchev declares, "Rehabilitate the engineers!" That still won't work. Khrushchev is removed. Brezhnev then says, "Let's pull down the blinds and pretend the train's still moving!"
Khrushchev once commissioned some Academicians to built a computer that would calculate when the USSR would achieve communism. They do so, but the computer spews out a print-out that's three kilometres long. They puzzle out what went wrong with the computer. Suddenly, one scientist says, "Comrade Khrushchev made a speech recently where he said each five-year plan would take us one step nearer to communism!"
If the Soviet system is the best system ever devised, why is living under it so miserable? It's the dialectical coincidence of opposites.[/i]