Fathers and sons

Nemoxs · Post by **Nemoxs** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 10:37 pm

.. So lets say... I have a father that i've never met in my life...

And all the sudden after 16 years I get a letter from my father , and after a while of emailing the guy (about a day or two) I relize this guy is the real deal (mom told me, stuff only the other guy would have known).

What would you do to a guy that you'd hated for so long that wants to come back into your life after 16 years...? I have no clue what to do or say... im a little confused.

MAS PRODUCTIONS · Post by **MAS PRODUCTIONS** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 11:16 pm

Thats a tough question, and really no matter what anyone says its up to you to choose. I kinda have the reverse situation that you have, When I was 17 my father abandon us. I personally would kill my father when I see him again but that is a different situation than what you are going thru. My answer to your question would be based on why he hasn't been around and how you feel about meeting him. Personally I say you have nothing to lose by meeting him, but I can understand why you wouldn't want to.

Nemoxs · Post by **Nemoxs** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 11:18 pm

Yeah... welll... i wanna kill him thats for sure.. but... ya know

imadude · Post by **imadude** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 12:05 am

i say kick him

Nemoxs · Post by **Nemoxs** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 12:07 am

I would agree if my girlfriend wasnt pushing so hard for me to hug him ~_~;;

imadude · Post by **imadude** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 12:58 am

well hug him THEN kick him in the shin while your hugging him

KhayotiK · Post by **KhayotiK** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 2:37 am

As was stated, it depends on the situation.

But if he's a pure dick, and deserves an ass kicking, nothing will hurt a dad like having his son hold him by the throat and knocking his face in.

As for your girlfriend, do NOT let her control you in a family situation like this, the last thing you need is to let her control it, I seriously recommend you tell her to back the fuck up, whether you love her or not.

SarahtheBoring · Post by **SarahtheBoring** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 8:36 am

KhayotiK wrote:As was stated, it depends on the situation.

But if he's a pure dick, and deserves an ass kicking, nothing will hurt a dad like having his son hold him by the throat and knocking his face in.

As for your girlfriend, do NOT let her control you in a family situation like this, the last thing you need is to let her control it, I seriously recommend you tell her to back the fuck up, whether you love her or not.

Though I'm not generally violent I have to say that I agree with him about most of this.

You are under no obligation to let this man into your life in any way. You owe him nothing. Don't let anyone tell you you have to forgive and forget, or you should be good to him, because abandoning his family shows that he gave up all rights to be treated like a proper parent.

Harsh, but, you know. My opinion.

emp|typ|athetic · Post by **emp|typ|athetic** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 9:41 am

I have the same shit going on with my dad.
After my parents divorced when I was 3, ho broke contact with me and my mom. And not a word in 12 years.
Then, when my curiosity has almost entirely faded, and I had completely accepted my dadless state, my grandmother finally decided to act upon my request (from like 5 years ago) to track the guy down.

So one day I pick up the phone, and some strange voice tells me "It's your father".
And I go "Whose father??"

..
So now he's flying over to visit us In a couple of weeks. At least that's what he said.

I have decided to let him into my life. Not as a father, but at least as an acquaintance. I see this as an opportunity to learn something about myself. It seems to me that I'm growing up to be a lot like him for some reason.
That's the approach I'm recommending on for you.

Propyro · Post by **Propyro** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 4:29 pm

i don't know ... i've known my dad pretty much all my life ... though my oldest memory of him was when i was about 4 (I probalby remember that because i stabbed him in the hand with a toothpick thingy) but i probalby wouldn't really care. i'd problaby say something like oh, Hi your may dad? nice to meet you ... i ahve some shit to do, see you later.