Video game characters keep their weapons in hammerspace!!
As I am sure many of you already know, hammerspace is that realm of subspace commonly thought to be accessible only to teenage anime females wherein said females traditionally keep obscenely large hammers (a.k.a. Trans-Dimensional Baka Mallets) used to beat the crap out of teenage anime males who act perverted. However, I've realized today that it is not just teenage anime females who have access to hammerspace, but almost all RPG characters.
Lets use Final Fantasy 7 as an example, although any FF would work. In Final Fantasy 7, we can clearly see that, in battle, the characters have formidable weapons. Cid has his spears, Cloud his impossibly large swords, Aeris her quarterstaves, Yuffie her throwing circles, Barret his machine gun, Red XIII his barrettes, Tifa her gloves, and Vincent his hand guns. However, for many of the characters, these weapons are not visible outside of battle, unless required by the plot, which is the case of Cloud's Buster Sword in the Village of the Ancients at the end of Disc 1. So, where do these weapons go when not in use? Barret's gun is mounted to his arm, Red XIII's barrettes can be said to be obscured by his fur, Vincent could just stash his handguns in his robes, and Tifa could keep her gloves on and it's so minor no one notices. But, what about Cloud's sword, Cid's spear, Yuffie's circles, and Aeris' staves? You never see them in the FMVs (never mind that Yuffie and Vincent aren't in the FMVs. Cheapass animators can't make extra FMVs for the extra characters... ::sniff::), so where do they go? Presumably, they are NOT stashed in unmentionable orifices, due to the physical impossibility of such an act. So, where do they go?
I submit that they keep their weapons, not to mention their armor and all of the additional supplies they acquire over the course of the game (look at an inventory map late in FF7 sometime. Those people should be so weighted down with crap they can't even walk) in hammerspace. By accessing a wormhole in the space-time continuum, theoretically located near the lower back, they can carry insanely large amounts of cargo around endlessly by simply keeping it in sub-space and taking it out when they need it. Such a method would enable one person to carry as much as an entire train of cargo, which makes it easy as pie to take care of yourself in unexpected situations. Ruby Weapon pops up out of the sand? No problem! Simply open up a wormhole into hammerspace and you have your choice of swords so large people may say you're compensating for something to hack and slash the poor endangered species to death with. Perverted teenage anime male making suggestive comments at you? It's hammerspace time!! Grab your gigantic hammer and beat his head in!!
So, in closing...
I wish I could access hammerspace. Because then I could finally tell people, "I'm hiding a big freaking sword", and not have it be a disgusting euphamism.
Thank you.
God, it's so obvious! RPG Weapons are kept in Hammerspace!
-
Chaos Angel
- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2002 11:34 am
- Location: Vidderating
- Contact:
-
EarthCurrent
- Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2002 8:27 pm
-
SarahtheBoring
- Joined: Sun Apr 07, 2002 11:45 am
- Location: PA, USA
- Contact:
i shouldn't exist merely to please you...-
EarthCurrent
- Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2002 8:27 pm