well fuck... (relationship troubles)

MistyCaldwell · Post by **MistyCaldwell** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 8:16 pm

I've heard the getting over equation is like....3 months for every year. He said his relationship was 2 years...that makes 6 months.

Don't ask me where I heard that, but I think it holds some truth if taken with some salt

CaTaClYsM · Post by **CaTaClYsM** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 8:19 pm

he's one good date away from getting over her. That is MY equation.

MistyCaldwell · Post by **MistyCaldwell** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 8:46 pm

well that would certainly help (getting out and dating, but just casually for a bit ) but if he felt that deeply for her, it won't be that easy.

CaTaClYsM · Post by **CaTaClYsM** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 8:53 pm

Well he was good looking enough to get ONE girlfriend, if he mopes around school and acts wounded he cuold have another one by the end of the week.

Flint the Dwarf · Post by **Flint the Dwarf** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 8:54 pm

Hey, sorry bout all that's happened man. That really sucks. It's cool that you don't just forget though, congrats. And at the very least, you're still young. I hardly even knew any girls when I was 16.

Ahh, way back when... two years ago. Those were the days... of suckage. Good luck, Tab man.

MistyCaldwell · Post by **MistyCaldwell** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 9:03 pm

Ahh yes...the pity hugs from girls are hugs still eh Cat?

Actually, speaking of cats, kitties are not only a great comfort to you in your hour of need, but also a great way to elicit females to gather to you in abundance or so I have seen.

It's a good thing flint got here, cause he's got your hookup for the kitties Ed

Chaos Angel · Post by **Chaos Angel** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 9:05 pm

MistyCaldwell wrote:I do know what it's like to have been in a relationship with someone who was fine when you knew them as a friend (or perhaps the odd signs were there, you just thought they were unique and wanted to help them out) and then you get close and they are too much to handle...when they get depressed they want to push you away but then after awhile deciding they perhaps could try again?

God. You just described my former relationship...

First off, Ed, I wish you luck in whatever path you choose to follow with this problem.

That being said...

My ex was also bi-polar, but she was on meds. I know what it can be like. I simply was not able to be the guy that she, with her condition, needed. I still have feelings for her, and I had hoped that she would take the chance to get beyond her emotional co-dependancy, but she didn't. And I do not want to hurt her, or myself, by going back.

But, Ed, you sound as if you really care for her, and want the best for her. You want her to be happy, to enjoy life as much as she can. She says she feels like she should feel no emotions? Honestly, I sometimes feel the same way, but then I find a small joy in something, and I wouldn't want to give it up, ever. If you choose to pursue her, good luck. To both of you.

But it ocurs to me that she may be needing some time alone, too, to work through her feelings. Maybe give her some time to be by herself for a bit, then call her or something? Just a thought.

RadicalEd0 · Post by **RadicalEd0** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 9:41 pm

She was by herself for 8 months, and this is what came out of it. Anyway yes.. a year ago I sat down and pondered whether or not I was strong enough to be with her and try and help her through her problems... but I decided that I would. I decided that no matter what was wrong with her brain, I loved her, and a person is much more than just their mind. I decided that I would deal with any hardships that would come my way, because as long as I loved her and she loved me, it would be okay.
:\
feh.

On a different note, I shot off a few emails to her that she got and is going to respond to. Also, while I was away today she signed on 4 times and back off :\ until I was back, so she seems to care enuff to want to talk to me... even though she didnt have anything to say.
hmm
also. I asked her why then she told me she loved me and stuff, and she said, it's easier to believe in something when you keep saying it. So maybe not all is lost....
I dunno
we'll see what happens in the next few days and weeks...

The Non-Professional · Post by **The Non-Professional** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 9:51 pm

RadicalEd0 wrote:I asked her why then she told me she loved me and stuff, and she said, it's easier to believe in something when you keep saying it. So maybe not all is lost....

isnt that just reenforcing a lie? So maybe that isnt love but just something to give some hope and some lightin her life. I dont know im just going off on a tangent...

CaTaClYsM · Post by **CaTaClYsM** » Sat Mar 15, 2003 9:57 pm

Well lets get one thing strait, there is NO point in dating a crazy person, and I don't mean depresed. I mean hearing voices bi-polar stuff. and she 'seems' to fit the bil form what you've said. I still say that before she, not you, SHE, even thinks about dating anyone she get herself help. And I know that.
THe angle I've always been trying to get at is that whether you date her or not she needs help. I say you bypass her, get to her parents e-mail, and tell them exactly what she's been telling you as far as the way she feels. THe whole, 'dead inside' bit. I know this is goign to sound stupid, but what exactly do you know about her mental health?