Post
by Radical_Yue » Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:26 am
Have to wake up at 5am to get ready and go to work, so you try to go to sleep about 9pm or so.
9:30PM - Get call from insane mother in California who is going through a bunch of crap she found in your old room.
"DO YOU WANT THIS BLUE HARMONICA? IT SAYS BLUES HARMONICA?"
"WHAT use would I have for a harmonica?"
"It's a VERY useful instrument!"
10:00pm - Insane mother refuses to hang up the phone with you and continues to go on about things she found under your old bed that now belongs to your younger brother.
"I found condoms. Lot's of condoms. Some of them used! He couldn't even bother to throw out his used condoms!"
"That is disgusting."
10:15pm - Finally get off the phone with insane mother.
10:30pm - Cat vomits in the hallways, boyfriend screams like a little girl and begs you to go clean it up because it's gross.
10:40pm - Done cleaning cat vomit and scrubbing carpet so it doesn't stain.
10:45pm - While trying to go to bed, cat runs into bedroom, jumps on headboard, beings purring and licking it. First you feel happy that he seems to being doing better but then you notice that he reeks of horrid smelling bile and is spreading that smell all over your bed with his tongue. Have boyfriend catch cat and hold him while you turn on lights to find out the damage.
11:00pm - Cleaned headboard with disinfectant and changed sheets, all the while boyfriend is whining that the cat smells like bile.
11:35pm - Finish giving the cat a bath due to horrible smell. Change your clothes because you are now soaked since boyfriend doesn't know how to assist you in washing a cat but does know exactly what to do to make him flail about in a spectacular fashion.
12:00am - Finish blow drying the cat so he doesn't run around soaking wet. All the while, everytime the blowdryer turns off, the cat feels the need to yowl like you're murdering him, just because he hates being towel dried. Pretty sure your neighbors think you're psychopaths now.
12:30am - Finish disinfecting the rest of the apartment and checking every spot that could even possibly resemble vomit. Stupid fuzzy carpet chunks from his cat tower....
1:00am - Finally manage to fall asleep.
5:00am - Alarm goes off.
5:00:01am - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
tl;dr - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU