The joy of college

Orwell · Post by **Orwell** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:38 am

I talk to my parents maybe once a month and we split Thanksgiving/Christmas with my wife's parents. When I first moved out to go to college, my dad was actually the one who called me more, which was weird since my relationship was strained with him growing up. I was always a mama's boy.

I'll never forget the first time I saw my mom after I moved out for college. It was about 3 months into my freshmen year and we had "Parent's Weekend." My university was about 3 hours away from home. Mom called the night before and said they'd be up and meet me for lunch.

I wake up to my alarm around 9:30. The room is a mess, my roommate is passed out half-naked in the bed that he must have pissed in his drunken stupor the night before. A bra is draped over my desk chair and a pair of panties is on the floor by my bed. I had no idea who the chick was that these things belonged to or where she had gone. There are beer bottles everywhere.

Anyway, I'm half-awake and surveying the damage when I hear a knock at the door. I was expecting it to be some hall mates or maybe the unknown female. When I opened the door, it was my parents. I should have known that they would get there early. My father is a former Command Sargeant Major in the Army and he has gone to bed at 9:30pm and woken up at 4am every single day since he turned 18. I could visibly see both my parents jaws drop almost in unison.

Upon seeing the room, I see each of their eyes immediately fixate on the undergarments that clearly don't belong to me. Then they move to the massive wet spot on my roomate's bed and him laying right in the middle of it and turn around and walk away saying as they left, "Sorry we're early. We'll see you at the car in a few minutes. Think about where you want to go for breakfast."

As my parents are walking down the hall to leave, I see a girl in a towel walking down the hall towards my room. She says hello to my folks as if nothing was amiss. My folks stop, and turn around to watch her as she came down the hall. Clearly, they thought she may by the mystery woman to whom the bra and panties belonged. I'm watching too because she was pretty cute and wearing only a towel. I was hoping that the realization that was written on my parents face was true, that she was, in fact, the girl who the underwears belonged to. She comes in, and my parents just shake their heads and continue to walk down the hall towards the elevator. I shrugged my shoulders at them and closed the door, yelling that I would be down in a minute. She came in, got dressed, said "thanks for last night" kissed me on the cheek and left. I'm still kind of confused at this point, frantically trying to comb my hair and get dressed for breakfast, but satisfied in finally knowing who the underwears belonged to, yet struggling to remember her name, yet proud that this cute naked chick was thanking me for last evening, even though I didn't remember last evening or her name.

I meet my folks at the car and my mother says to me. "Who's your friend?" My dad was standing behind her smoking a cigarette and was grinning from ear to ear. She had a look on her face that said "I'm getting ready to lay the smack down." My father was still grinning this cheesy ass grin that only he can pull off. I said "A friend" and left it at that. So, I get in the car and its kind of quiet. My mom then says, and I''ll never forget these words, "X, here's the deal. I don't care how much you drink as long as you don't drive. I don't care who you fuck as long as you use protection. But for the love of all that is good and holy, when you get back to your room, clean up the piss trail that led from your bed to your roommates. He's gonna be pissed (and my father busted out laughing at that line clearly getting the pun) if he wakes up and realizes that it was you that peed in his bed and not him."

Kariudo · Post by **Kariudo** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 1:14 am

Fun times?

drinking til you pass out/can't remember last/sleep with the toilet night never really sounded all that good to me (which is probably why I haven't done it

)

jasper-isis · Post by **jasper-isis** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 1:48 am

Last night, I danced until I died.

Best night ever.

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:01 am

jasper-isis wrote:Last night, I danced until I died.

Best night ever.

Why are you still here?

***

I've had nothing similar in my college. Don't even get me started now.

Garridy · Post by **Garridy** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:14 am

Things like that are the reason I make sure I don't get drunk. lol

8bit_samurai · Post by **8bit_samurai** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 2:40 am

College. Fun times.

CodeZTM · Post by **CodeZTM** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:41 am

Ah. One of the main reasons why I returned home after only a week in teh dorms. Not because I had a similar experience, but because of the other people finding similar experiences on a nightly basis on my floor.

College = Fun Timez

godix · Post by **godix** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:00 am

One evening my roommate and I heard a commotion in the hall. After a few minutes I stuck my head out the door to see what was going on because damnit, a mans gotta have some peace and quiet to really enjoy his porn. Turns out one of the female students was going up and down the hall yelling that she'd have sex with anyone who wrote a paper for her. I figured what the hell and went over to accept her offer. Hey, free pussy is free pussy and for this one I wouldn't have even needed to get her drunk first. I didn't get laid though, she got pissed that I laughed when she told me the paper was about the triumph of modern feminism for her woman's studies class.

Unlimited Rice · Post by **Unlimited Rice** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:38 am

Kariudo wrote:Fun times?

drinking til you pass out/can't remember last/sleep with the toilet night never really sounded all that good to me (which is probably why I haven't done it )

That's pretty much how my surprise birthday party was last weekend. I woke up in the middle of the night on my bed freezing cold with no blanket and only in my boxers and a jacket hoodie

guy07 · Post by **guy07** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:57 pm

Last friday I was high for 10 hour straight. Played video games for 5 hours. Slept on my friends floor in his dorm (the floor is concrete ...) and had a good time in general. That was my first real college party. I'll keep you posted on the next one.

PS: Was that a joke or did that really happen? I'm assuming it' a joke you stole from somewhere ....