Let me show you the way. Here, take my hand. Follow my light. And prepare yourself... for the best AMV on the planet.
-First things first. As my good friend Mahatma Gandhi once said, "the ideally non-violent state will be an ordered anarchy." In other words, we need to make preparations.
- First you'll need a computer. Do you have one of those? Good. It will come in handy.
- You'll also need Windows. Did you know that the W in Windows is actually stands for the W in aWesome? Anyway, your Windows should come with Windows Movie Maker. This program is the pinnacle of movie editing software. Pros such as myself eat, drink, and sleep WMM.
- Next, you'll want an episode or three of Naruto. The most epic episodes are the Valley of the End fight between Naruto and Sasuke (132-134) and the Gai vs. Gai fight of Shippuden (19). These episodes are the holy grail of the AMV community. Also remember to get them subbed, because people like reading the story.
- And finally, the music. I strongly recommend something by Linkin Park, preferably In the End. It fits perfectly with the mood, and best of all, you barely have to do any editing!
-Now, take all the stuff you just pirated and jam it into WMM. Go mad with the import button. Take no prisoners. Any errors? No problem. One of the best kept secrets of computing is that any error will disappear if you get it over 99 times (translation: keep a sledgehammer nearby).
All of your fancy-shmancy should be in WMM. So now what? Patience, my young grasshopper. Ask, and I shall tell.
-Immediately, you must change the balance of the audio. Turn the audio slider to about 12/13 of the way towards audio from music. This will allow some of Naruto's and Sasuke's macho shouts of manliness to seep through. You know, just to keep your viewers guessing. This will be disguised under what I call "interactivity" (we AMV makers are allowed to do such things).
-You should now see a whole bunch of clips in your collection. If you do not, then you are a failure and not fit to make perfect Naruto AMVs. I'm sorry. Insert another coin to try again.
-For those of you who do see the clips, this is your chance to express your *ahem* "creativity." Take a six sided rectangular random integer generator and assign a set of clips to each face. Spin said instrument and insert clips in the order given by fate. Basically, just put clips together. As long as people splash water and the boring flashbacks are removed, you'll be well on your path to money, women, cars, success, and perhaps happiness.
Is it the end? No, of course not! You forgot to add in the famed transitions! Everyone loves seeing transitions. It was mathematically proven in 1973 by a group of internationally acclaimed Zimbabwean chemists and Nobel laureates that each transition you have in your video will garner 17.96% more total viewers.
-Make a title screen. And a credits screen. But definitely DO NOT credit the music or the episodes you used. Only talk about yourself. This shows your independence, which is essential for every perfect Naruto AMV maker.
-remmembr speling and grammer does not hold uninportants; cause use intarwebz memes = gr8!!1
-Add tons of effects. Slides, bubbles, film crackles (?), pans, swirls, the entire kitchen sink. All of it in. If you see it, use it. Did I mention that you have to use tons of effects?
And there you go! Don't even bother playing it. If you have reached this point, you already know it's good. Just publish it.
-Save the video with an obscure, cryptic name. I always name my masterpieces after the exotic dancers at my local brothel (ex: Hilda, Victoria, Itsuki, Thomàs).
-Before you come here to brag about how perfect your Naruto AMV is, do the YouTube test. Put it on YouTube and see how many views it gets. If you manage to get over a million views in under six hours, you pass the test. Don't worry if these numbers seem intimidating, for the bar was designed to be low. Due to the sheer perfection of this kind of Naruto AMV, most people will double these amounts on their first try.
And voila! You have reached the end. Your perfect Naruto AMV has been unleashed upon the world. Now, sit back, relax, and watch as you reap the rewards of your purity.
That is all.
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