Here goes..........
The Studio Vantype logo at the beginning needs some work. It's just kind of a mix of different defaults. Default flourish, default grunge walls, etc.... Also, the walls don't connect properly at the edges.
The text, while I understand she's a renegade and doesn't feel the need for proper English, it's just very awkward to read. I had to pause it and say it out loud a couple times before it really made any sense. "What'd you used to do" is just...really weird to say... And it's totally silent which makes it feel out of place. You go from soft tone studio logo, silent text and then immediate BANG BANG title. It needs some kind of visual to go with it or audio. Because I have no freakin clue who's asking her these questions, but I'll get to that later.
The title sequence was a bit jarring after the dead silent text and probably could've been saved for the ending considering it's a good 30 seconds before the video even starts.
The start of the video makes sense. Here is the setup, the location, the dirty underbelly of the city where are hero is gonna shoot the sh*t outta things....and that's when the set up kind of ends. The rest of the video just turns into "The many faces of Revy." By that I mean, I have no idea what her motivation is, why she is shooting people, or really anything. And I'm just going to assume the guy she was talking to during the silent text is the one she shares the cigarette with? It's a montage of guns being cocked, her reacting to things, and smoking.
When the chorus kicks in you've got some pretty decent internal sync to the vocals, but the cutting is rather erratic and doesn't give the viewer a good chance to appreciate it. It jumps from fight scene to fight scene without any rhyme or reason. Without any setup due to the montage of faces and guns during the non-chorus based parts, even though these sections are more high action, it just feels like more of the same.
The ending sync kinda falls apart and did she die? I have no real idea o_O There is no real resolution, just a bunch of scenes of feathers and crazy faces....
I can totally understand you're fangirl mindset. A decent amount of my videos are me fangirling over characters I love (character profiles ftw) which is one of the reasons I understand why this video turned out the way it did. YOU know why she's badass, YOU know what each bullet and each cock of the gun leads to. The problem is, the viewer doesn't. The show is fresh in your mind since you only just watched it a little bit ago and with the short period of time that you took to make the video you probably didn't have time for that fact to hit you. If you've got a character you love and want to show the world just how badass they are, you need to look at it from a perspective of someone who has never watched the show. Possibly look to skilled editors who haven't seen Black Lagoon as beta testers. The text set it up like it was going to be her back story of badassery but then it...well, it wasn't. You gotta get your squeeee'ing out of the way, then take a step back and say "but will this make others want to squeee over how awesome she is too?"
Keep trying.
