). Murphy's laws of video editing
1: First attempts to video-edit will always take place either "soon" or "next weekend."
a: Attempts will take place at least 1 year after seeing the initial cost to get started.
exception 1: whereas the editor uses mommy's computer.
exception 2: whereas the editor is enrolled in a technical college
exception 3: whereas a broadband connection of greater than 1mbs and a familiarity with IRC file serving or Bit Torrent exists.
2: Any clip used is half as long as you think it is, and twice as long as it needs to be.
a: the gap between the two is greater the slower your song is.
3: Law of conservation of computer parts: If you take apart two computers and put them back together enough times, you will be left with only one computer.
a: it will do exactly half of what you need it to do at half the speed you hoped.
4: An editor that uses more than one computer monitor in a setup is an arrogant tech geek with deep pockets.
a: . . .who also produces at a rate less than one video a year.
b: . . . who can't get Warcraft to run properly.
5: Any editor who wins an award is an eleetist jerk.
a: They will be known as a bigger eleetist jerk the more conventions they attend, message boards they frequent, etc.
b: those who bestow the title are those who have never won an award.
6: Reel-to-reel nirvana syndrome: any past use of analog editing equipment to complete a video automatically equates with enlightenment as a video editor.
a: it also means a crippling inability to understand or implement newer technology.
7: Sound Decompression past 2 feet: Despite the $10,000 audio setup at a convention, the music sounds better on your computer speakers at home.
a: your video lost the contest because of the sound quality.
8: Foundation for perpetuated obscurity theorum 1: nobody knows who Corn Pone Flicks is.
9: Foundation for perpetuated obscurity theorum 2: nobody knows your studio name.
a: nobody wants to know your studio name.
1. they dont want to know it as much in direct corellation with exactly how cool you think the studio name is.
10. An AMV fan is lazy.
a. an AMV fan with DSL/ fast internet is exceptionally lazy.
1. and has never seen an AMV on a TV set.
exception: an AMV fan who has ever tape-traded to get AMVs is not lazy.
11. Law of tweaking. To make two computers play a video the same way, shoot one.
12. Half completed project files are first in line to be lost when performing any computer upgrade, regardless of which component.
a. Analog reels will be the first thing moved by the last person to use the editing station, or vcr, and therefore the first thing lost during a project.
b. Source footage will be the first thing missing, followed by the cleanest copy of the source audio.
1: both will be lost twice as fast if they are borrowed.
13: Your ability to edit ebbs with direct correlation to the time until a deadline.
a: in the absence of actual editing, your apathy will do the same.
14: When meeting a creator, their physical appearance will be completely opposite of everything you expect them to be.
a. It will be the 'worst' kind of opposite you imagined.
exception: EK.
15: Those with the greatest creative potential have an inverse proportion of technical skill to use eiditng tools.
a: extreme cases show computer failure and tape eating when such an individual enters a room with said equipment.
16: 90% of all video ideas will never be completed
a: 95% off all video ideas SHOULD never be completed.
17: Artificial Sun's observation on editing trends: Some editors live at 60 frames-per-second.
18: Circumlocution law: Minimalist eiditing was necessary because of the technology available. Minimalist editing is now necessary in spite of the technology available.
19: No unused tool principal. Any button in After Effects than can be pushed, will be.
a: use of a Mac precludes this reflex.
