I know, I know, strange. But with the right blend of source, it could turn out psychotically funny.
I even got somewhat of an outline planned....
Jeff Foxworthy: Borghoff Marcus from VHD Bloodlust
Stupid guy: Kyle Marcus from Bloodlust
12 pack o' bud -- Would have to be Misato and the Fridge o' Beer
11 wrasslin' tickets -- DBZ's actually appropriate!

10 o' Copenhagen -- Can't think of too many tobacco-chewing characters....but a character who's constantly eating might work. Was even thinking of using of Legato for juxtaposition
9 years probation -- Convicted criminals...hmmm ::ponders:: Just about anyone from Bebop
8 table dancers -- That famous scene from Iczelion of Nami dancing on the bar comes to mind
7 packs o' Redman -- More eating/chewing scenes
6 cans o' Spam -- Shots of Andy from the Bebop episode "Cowboy Funk" with the "Son-of-a-Gun Stew"
5 FLANNEL SHIIIIIIIIIIRTS! -- Really bad dressers. For some reason Vegeta in the infamous pink shirt actually works

4 big mud tires -- Shots of the wheels on military vehicles from Eva
3 shotgun shells -- Gunsmith Cats could handle this one
2 huntin' dogs -- Inuki and Ein, from X and Bebop respectively
And some parts to a Mustang GT -- The Akio Car!!!!!!!!
And I'm sure I can find appropriate source for the in-betweener lyrics. So whatcha think? Go or no?