Well, I didn't use a translator, I'm just French... and I have the arrogance to prove it.quadir wrote: ...ayanefan's translator looks spot on. So use his! Your welcome
French translation request
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Kionon
- I ♥ the 80's
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Ayanefan
- Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:17 am
Wrong French, mostly Quebec where they actually DO go into the army but refuse to go to war, and the politicians are ok with that. But we do supply the flags to the French.Kionon wrote:But do you have the white flag? </American_Perception_of_France>ayanefan wrote:Well, I didn't use a translator, I'm just French... and I have the arrogance to prove it.quadir wrote: ...ayanefan's translator looks spot on. So use his! Your welcome
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Sereenie
- Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2003 8:11 pm
- Location: The City Fun Forgot
Ayanefan, allow me to correct a few things. Just because I'm anal. Plus, translating is my job. ^_^
That we protect within ourselves just as we preserve a mystery
See, told you I was anal! But translating songs and poetry is never easy. In fact, it's about the most difficult thing to translate. Good job!
(And sorry for the long post!)
S.
I'd say: Weapons, cool ones, shiny onesayanefan wrote:Arms, beauties, sparkles
"As when" is wrong. It's the same des as in the first line, which implies "weapons," so Weapons we must clean often for pleasure, leading to and that we must caress to create pleasure. This last line is also interesting, as it has a double meaning: it means both "caress to create pleasure" and "caress for fun," so on the following one, "l'autre" doesn't mean him, but "the other one," i.e. That other fun/pleasure, the one that makes women taking communion dreamAs when we must often cleanse for pleasure
As above, the des implies the weapons, so Weapons we must keep warm for ourselves in the depths of our soulAs we must keep ourselves warm in the depths of our soul
We keep far within ourselves as we keep a secret (mystery)
That we protect within ourselves just as we preserve a mystery
"De service" applies to poets, not to the trigger, so And poets on trigger dutyAnd with poets at our gunslingers service
Interesting line. "'Mettre le feu" literally means "to set on fire." The poetically implied cigarette-lighting isn't seen as benign.To light our last cigarette
Ah, another double-meaning! "Vers" definitely refers to a line of poetry, but gets amalgamated at the end of the line with the glass "verre" you picked. I'd say, At the end of a French line of poetry, as shiny as a tear.At the edge of a (guessing) crystal (glass) as brilliant as a tear.
See, told you I was anal! But translating songs and poetry is never easy. In fact, it's about the most difficult thing to translate. Good job!
(And sorry for the long post!)
S.
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Ayanefan
- Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:17 am
I have to correct something you put in, you can't be as anal I me. I will admit that your interpretation is very good, better than mine in fact.Sereenie wrote:Ayanefan, allow me to correct a few things. Just because I'm anal. Plus, translating is my job. ^_^
S.
I will mention that I do have some reservations about your use of the word weapons. I chose arms for the effect within the poem as a synonym to weapons. As we can have weapons in war, I used the word "arms" to add a bit of poetry to how we can fall in with the arms of war as we can fall into the arms of a woman.
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Sereenie
- Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2003 8:11 pm
- Location: The City Fun Forgot
You are totally right! But I picked weapons for clarity reasons, since it's a more common/colloquial usage than arms, and because the "limb" arms are only clearly used once.
That being said, if I'd been asked to translated this "officially" (rather than just trying explain what the song is about, as is the case here), I would probably have picked arms too, as you did. After all, word choice always has to take into account the purpose as well as the audience, and the purpose isn't the same when one translates for publication or for mere understanding.
That's also why I always have a hard time not to chime in when people translate things here, usually lyrics: a song often looks straightforward at first, but when you start reading the words, analysing them, then only do you realise all the different possibilities and meanings included. Like the line about cigarettes. At first, I didn't want to change it, because after all, that line does mean "to light the cigarettes." But when I thought about it some more, I thought the choice of words was unusual, almost violent. It gives a whole different flavour to the verse.
In fact, that whole song is very interesting, stylistically speaking. I'll have to download that vid: I'm really curious about it!
S.
That being said, if I'd been asked to translated this "officially" (rather than just trying explain what the song is about, as is the case here), I would probably have picked arms too, as you did. After all, word choice always has to take into account the purpose as well as the audience, and the purpose isn't the same when one translates for publication or for mere understanding.
That's also why I always have a hard time not to chime in when people translate things here, usually lyrics: a song often looks straightforward at first, but when you start reading the words, analysing them, then only do you realise all the different possibilities and meanings included. Like the line about cigarettes. At first, I didn't want to change it, because after all, that line does mean "to light the cigarettes." But when I thought about it some more, I thought the choice of words was unusual, almost violent. It gives a whole different flavour to the verse.
In fact, that whole song is very interesting, stylistically speaking. I'll have to download that vid: I'm really curious about it!
S.