KenShimazu (Kentaro Shimazu)
Do People read these things?
So i randomly decide to pop my head in this website after 3 or something years of not making a video, and to my surprise i see recent comments for a video which i made something like 5-6 years ago. flattering that people still like something i did which by standards of editing, was nothing more than synching scenes to song lryics.
glad it sparked enough interest, on the flipside wish i had more comments for my person favorite video Loss which unfortunatly has a sound glitch (i lost the master copy some years back moving)
will i make a another video: who the heck knows, i'm entrenched in Final Fantasy XI
and have had a writers block ever since Loss, ( the DDR projects came afterwards and well, they weren't that great imo)
i'm also glad this site is still around , it's good to see the AMV community still healthy
how much fun.
welp wow, been a while since i wrote in this, i generally don`t but hell thanks to some moron who insulted Alum. on the forum, i have nothing better to do here (hell when you`re not a popular editor like the rest or post daily on the forum, not really much to do...) so random entry into the journal...
back in the states, working again which is good, out of the house and living on my own again which is good, working on ideas for a new vid (havn`t made once since pre June with my DDR Track..) hopefully my girlfriend will come visit in the next two weeks...
ahhh what else is there...oh who knows
one thing though, not sure if the culprit as Hsien put it will read this but i second Hsien... a big F U to the moron who shut down a good thng
I should use this journal more often
I don`t rant much but when i do i think i should use this journal more often to do it. with currently only 345 hits to my journal, i`m pretty sure people don`t read what i write often more then not.
Think i had what could be considered a nervous breakdown last night, alchohol didn`t help much but, I really havn`t lost it like i did yesterday night since Highschool.
I live in an international dormitory, and we have a kanrinin something like a resident assistant if you will. she`s a nice lady and in many ways easy to get along with but overall, lately it`s just getting too much.
I like to drink, pretty much been like that ever since collage, and with all the extra free time lately that`s about all i look forward to, don`t have really enough money to go around traveling Japan like some folks here and what not, and in anycase just here to re-learn my language overall.
In the past 9 months or so being here I`ve helped out my Kanrinin as much as possible, basically ending up being the middle man to explain to the newer people and people who`ve been here just as long what she wants from us, didn`t realize how much stress was building from it.
I live in what is called the Yamasa Village, granted overall this is a nice dorm with 24 hour internet access, but it does tend to get loud everynow and then, but god help me it`s just not the english speakers. had a few new students come in mainly Americans, so what did we end up doing? started drinking, not heavily mind you but we were a tad loud (I`m assuming this to be true) around 10 pm our Kanrinin comes in to complain to us, this is a given, and if she had just said something along the lines of "break it up and go back to your rooms" or something, i would have had no problems relaying that to the guys and we would just leaved the common area. But nope, she pushed, she tends to get overtly emotinaly direct, and said some pretty insulting things to me. hurt allot considering all I have attempted to do for her.
So what have I learned from it? I`m moving out of this drom, asap. I`m sick of having to be the middle man, and pretty much ending up being the first person to hear every complaint she has about the students, all justifiable but god help me, i don`t think she even bothers to understand our view point anymore. you get kids ranging from 18 to average of 27 in this place, all from diffrent cultures and backgrounds, of course they`ll be problems.
I also came to a great revelation. My uncle once told me I`m more Japanese then most Japanese people, at the time i took it as a compliment, but now i think i was actually letting it settle in as a ego measure. Damn i was wrong, I`m more american then i thought i was, and i think i was just conforming to the Japanese mentality here, quite honestly that in itself is a pretty big stress measure it seems. I don`t know, things seem to be a bit more clearer now. I came here with pretty much the hopes of in the end finding a job but, i don`t think i want to do that anymore. I`m actually not confortable around Japanese people, I`m soo damn concious of needed to act Japanese because I AM Japanese around them because i don`t want to theoretically "fuck up" something that a born and bred Japanese person would already know (not sure if i explained that right)
Also thinking of just leaving in June instead of September like i was intending. Too damn tired of the place i think. I have actually gotten everything i needed educationally here at this school but I think I`m getting to old, meaning I`m at the point in age where "change" becomes extremely hard or something even if you attempt to.
still upset over last night but defiatly need to leave this dorm. Extremely tired to boot since i really didn`t sleep last night, too many thoughts going through my head.
I hope my GF comes to visit, I`d really like to see her right now...oof
More random babble part 2
welp, being on the AMVML there`s been allot of random babbling lately especially con crap that well, i honestly don`t care about for the pure fact the last contest i entered was AWA`s Exibition contest (I can`t remember the name anymore heh there goes my memmory)
don`t know, i think allot of editors out there are slowly starting to (probably unconciously) are getting up on themselves, it`s easy enough even for me to say I`m a better editor then someone else, and blatantly so since we as creators have a crap load of DBZ fanboys/girls who create a video with maybe 2 cuts with 15th generation downloaded digisubs.
I think though I`m probably starting to be the same, I sometimes catch myself thinking "ah shit, considering Most of the people here don`t see a diffrence with my vids and Kevin Cadwells I must be a good editor" or "crap if I only had good hosting and capable of entering more contests"
it`s dumb granted but i do that sometimes, I do get frusterated over the fact that in total i think i have less then 15 reviews for all my videos put together, yet i know that my vids do get around. more frusterated over the fact that my newer videos really ARE better then my older stuff. (Otakon 2k1 helped with that, lots off good input) ah well. Overall it doesn`t get to me, and i`m know I`m not the only one.
now back to the point. You have Joe Schmoe here frusterated like everone else, it`s kind of like a heirochracy, there`s the top middle and bottom, I know I`m somewhere in the middle but what annoys me is when the top starts to complain and or bitch, we all do this for fun, they`re at the top because of experience/talent/and vision, some without patience for the lower and middle for quite flatly put a purely egotistical stand point, (yep that`s gonna piss people off, but that`s how it comes across) I like the fact that i create videos it`s a hobby and one i really like it gives me something to do. some of us (well myself included) rather not see half ass creators out there but (because I`m middle) we should have to tolerate it, i think it`s a neccessaty, to actually be so blatently cold to the newbies is a bad idea, etc etc etc etc.
i think I`ll stop here, going to help a friend buy FF11 hopefully it`s a good game
btw if you Take what i wrote overtly seriously and personal don`t bother flaming me, it`s an opinion
more random babble
I think i might have figured out what is bothering me lately.
I like a certain amount of stability, hence it makes sense to me now that I always like to work no matter how crappy my jobs used to be.
Wake up in the morning,
goto work, work for 12 hours, have an hour break for lunch and dinner (hence technically 14 hours right? ) in anycase the point is, i broke down my day into a routine, new people etc etc...great I`m losing my train of thought.
in anycase, figure this school here (http://www.yamasa.org) wouldn`t be that much diffrent right? simple
go back to class
come back to the dorm and force this POS of a laptop to render my newer creations in AMV while downloading multiple random stuff in the background ( I should really catch up on reviewing, watched a good 3 dozen videos lately and havn`t got around to reviewing them)
welp all`s fine in the routine department in school but it`s the social life i think that`s bugging me.
the Way Yamasa works is basically you can stay here from 6 weeks to 2 years
I`m in a 3 month program for a year (this is my third term) but in the mean time you end up meeting some kick ass people from all across the world. sooo many of these new friends fly back to their countries, it`s actually starting to make me antisocial, don`t want to get too close to someone purely because you know they`ll end up leaving or you`ll leave before they do. ah well I think that may be the bulk of the problem lately.
My girlfriend is thinking of coming to visit me here from Korea, (it`s only 30 minutes by plane from here to Seoul) I can`t really express in words how happy it makes me for her to even mention it or even think about it, I`m pretty set in the idea that, okay, love this woman, but won`t be able to see her for maybe a year to two years, am i bothered? Nope not what so ever, I honestly do love her and it`ll take time and allot of effort (which i fully don`t mind) to be with her but overall having to wait is not a bad thing. This doesn`t mean i don`t want to see her if she does come, i really want her to actually.
Since i`ve finished my AMV for DDR project need to sit down and start constructing my AWA Pro entry, I think the past year in editing and seeing some great videos which have givin me great inspiration to do better has payed off.
to compare some of works just between my Montage video and then to my last one Loss i think managed to show a big jump, i think i now have a distinct "K.A.T. Translations" style of creating, it doesn`t mean I`m good or anything, but i do think it makes me stand out above the norm now (yes yes be crushed by my ego all 105lbs of it)
I find it interesting, just recently I was told through e-mail by one of the "bigger names" that the person was starting to question AMV`s in general, not quite understanding which was more important, the conformation of the AMV to the lyrics and mood of a song to the anime by the vision of the creator, or comforming a song to the anime itself through the vision of the Creator. It was a good point, started to make me think now, said person reviewed my Loss video which(the person also did my a small review of my KeyScape Video) I think honestly it`s been pure luck on my part his exact words were
I give your video two thumbs up. I really liked it. I've been questioning
AMVs lately wondering what the point of them is. It's because so many
people try to impose their own interpretations on the anime or make the
videos to fit the song. I started loosing sight of the original anime
itself. Your video feels very natural and most importantly of all it feels
like it's about the movie. I think the instrumental music was perfect
because it let you focus n the movie and not trying to show how it matches
the lyrics of some song - which is something I'm growing weary of
hopefulyl he won`t mind me posting this but i think in allot of ways he`s right. When i said pure luck, i meant in the sence of the matching of song to anime on my part, I actually created Loss to express my feeling of how depressed i usually got after watching Ah My Goddess and AMG the movie, reason being, back with the OVA`s i was single really really single, then with the movie i had watched it again after my girlfriend went back to Korea, Hence, being overtly sentimental "lost my angel" type feeling. I figured the video would apeal mainly to guys that felt the same watching AMG, but then again, i was going for an emotional response. Said person (the e-mail) gave me something better to consider for my next project, the point is really well made. I find that i do like instrumental videos better then lyrical ones overall, there`s not that many i`ve seen actually, and well the only one i can think of off the top of my head is Maboroshi`s Far and Away, the e-mail is right, I think I need to re-consider what i`m aiming for in an AMV, have the person viewing care about the editing, anime or song. I think I`ll break it down into that.
Current server time: May 23, 2015 23:26:38