At a bar. The sad thing is, I'm completely sober.
Me: Want to feel my screw?
Me: I have screws in my face. Wanna feel one of them?
Corey: You have screws... Why?
Me: Jaw surgery. Feeeeel! (puts finger to nose area)
Put your finger here!(Corey feels my screw, then pulls away kind of freaked out)
Corey: Oh! Ew. ... Do you set off the metal detectors? Like at the airport?
Me: No. It's medical metal or something. But my X-ray lights up like a christmas tree. You should see my dental record.
(We get into some detailed conversation about magnetism; he tries to convince me to stick a magnet to my face later. At some point I give in)
Corey: You could always ask the bartender [for a magnet].
Me: Okay, fine. [Bartender]! Hey, do you have a magnet?
(small conversation on how weird a request that is, but she eventually gives us this weird magnet that's the size and shape of a piece of paper)
Bartender: Here, just don't break it or anything. I know it's kind of a thin magnet...
Corey: That is the weirdest magnet I've ever seen.
Me: I think it might be too weak...
(eventually I hold this huge magnet up to my face and look like a total retard)
Bartender: Hey what're you doing?? Wait so I can see!
Ah, similar to the above situation. I'm a bit of a shut in and my roommate who I hardly know convinces me to go to the bar with her. I pound back drinks and I am astounded at how I'm not hammered yet, but then I begin to feel it.
We somehow end up talking about porn sites, then it evolves into shock sites. Somewhere in between blue waffle and some site I'd never heard of that had to do with a jar and a man's asshole, I stand up, slap my hands on the table and say, "Well, I like to get drunk and go home. I'm drunk, so I'm going home."
Then I turned around and actually went home.
I'd never done anything like that prior to that night.
Oh! This was right before boot camp. I, Will, and Mark go to this party that doubled as my going away party. I didn't want to get drunk there but they had (of course) spiked the punch. We were all pretty drunk, and near the middle of the night Mark and Will start debating over who's going to be the designated driver (DD) and spend the rest of the night sobering up.
Will: Allright, let's rock paper scissors for it. Best two our of three?
(I watch as they keep tying. By their third or fourth match, I walk over to them, complete with beverage in hand and go..)
Me: Ha, I think it's funny you guys assume I can't drive at all.
Will: HA CONGRATS YOU'RE DD!
I spent the rest of the night chugging water and when it came time to drive them home I was still drunk, but substantially less drunk than Will. Mark puked out the window the entire trip home and we had to carry him inside of the apartment because he couldn't walk. xP