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Information

• Member: MetalWolf
• Studio: Metal Wolf Productions
• Title: I'm Still Here
• Premiered: 2003-12-25
• Category:
  • Drama
• Song:
  • Vertical Horizon I'm Still Here
• Anime:
  • Millennium Actress
• Participation:
  • Otafest AMV competition, Otafest AMV competition (2004-05-15)
  • Animethon 11 AMV Contest, Animethon 11 AMV Contest (2004-07-17)
  • AnimeEvolution 2004 AMV Contest, AnimeEvolution 2004 AMV Contest (2004-08-21)
• Comments: Runner Up to the "Made In Alberta" award at Animethon 11 AMV contest.
  
  (December 24, 2022)
  22 years ago around this time I got a new computer for Christmas which had a video card that could digitize my VHS anime. I was finally able to make my first AMV using that video card and some random hard to video editing software and made my first AMV Gendou The Asshole. Looking back it was a pretty bad AMV but I was 16 and it was my first time. For the next year and with better software I started making AMVs like mad. A lot of them not very good, some shown promise if I had put more time in it and some at least to me were ok. I was a teenager is a rural area with nothing much to do after school or anyone to hang out with. AMVs became my creative outlet.
  
  By 2003 I was slowing down my AMV output, insecurity was setting in and I was starting to remake my old AMVs. My experience with editing and storytelling through editing was far more refined at this point.By 2003 though I think I was starting to worry more about how others would perceive my AMV than myself.
  
  It is a good thing I kept my original comments from 19 years ago I have nearly forgot how I felt from back then, it has been 19 years.
  
  I'm Still Here was an AMV I made for myself and to maybe win something but it was my 19 year old self's way to defiantly say I am doing this for me and I don't care if no one likes it or wants me making AMVs or not. I was going through quite a lot at that time in my life.
  
  A little less than 2 years later I stepped away from AMV making as I went to film school and attempted to make something of my life. I always had the intention to come back to AMV making but time and life always got in the way.
  
  This past year at 37-38 I decided to make AMVs for the sake of making them again. I started with the last 2 AMVs I ever made and then decided to remake this one over the last few weeks on my Christmas holidays.
  
  Upon remaking this AMV in particular I have come to feel like this AMV has become a more personal link for me than it was before. 19 years ago I made this AMV for my own personal reasons, for my own sense of accomplishment despite the troubles in my life. At 38 I am doing it one to see if I can do it but to also see what I can bring to it. I have watched the 2003 version many times over the years and with it's many flaws it is an AMV I am proud of and could do shot for shot the same and more or less be fine with it. However if I was to put all this time into it I felt like while it should still have the same essence of what it was 19 years ago it is a more mature version because it is done with a 38 years old's experience and eyes.
  
  It is ironic this is an AMV about a woman growing up in pursuit of someone or the idea of someone as a creative projection from me to show that despite all in my life I have dealt with internally I am still (here) moving forward that I have now done at two different times in my life with different dramas and so on linked only through this AMV. In short I feel as though the anime/AMV mirrors the progression in my life.
  
  So much so that even though I am completely content and happy with this 2022 remake on the 19th anniversary of the AMVs creation and 22nd anniversary of me making AMVs I am very curious as to how I will view or reproach this AMV 19-20 years from now if I do. What more I can add, what will change and what will stay the same. We will see when it happens if I am still here (come on I had to say it).
  
  I will upload this new version of the AMV once I figure out stuff on my end.
  
  (December 12, 2003)
  Like with every AMV I have ever created it comes with a story behind. Around the time I was ready to make some new AMV material I was going through a creative block. I started work on project I called "Grey Witch" and I ended up trashing it, then I started a project called "Bullet Sky" and I trashed it for the same reason.
  
  The reason was sort of paranoia on my part for feeling if I put this AMV in any contest it would lose because it didn't have something that had flare.
  
  Ever since competing in Animethon 10's AMV contest I was obsessed with making an award AMV and doing just that any time I started a new AMV I just didn't have the drive to do it when I was half way there. i guess I started to look at AMV making more of a hassle than fun.
  
  I guess I lost hope and was thinking of just stopping for awhile. Around the beginning of December I just finished watching a great anime move called "Millennium Actress". The day after I was at work and heard "I'm Still Here" by Vertical Horizon play on the radio. For some reason I got the AMV idea right then and there.
  Once I had the idea in my grasp I had the anime ready and I just went for it. I spent 2 and a half weeks working on the editing of the AMV, taking my time and reviewing the AMV constantly to find things that even bother me just a little bit. I wanted to finish today, today has special meaning to me just like this AMV.
  From the audience view this AMV is about the main character of the anim "Millennium Actress" knowing that no one has used this anime yet in the AMV community I took to mind what Rubyeye told me. He told I believe to make it like a trailer and use as much footage from the anime possible. In turn thats exactly what i did however I feel I put too much but with all the spoils I finished the AMV yesterday (December 24th, 2003) and the AMV is ready for today (December 25th 2003).
  
  This AMV also has personal ties for me. This AMV means a whole lot to me, I guess through the AMV I reclaimed my drive to make AMVs again, to have fun above all else and to not care as much about outside opinions. Yes they are important but to me if I dont enjoy the AMV first and foremost, how could anyone else. This AMV also marks the 3 year anniversary of Metal Wolf Productions, today is it's birthday.
  
  The AMV exemplifies everything that I feel right now and is a tribute to the three years I spent in this hobby. For three years I made 61 AMVs (including this one), something that people dont take to kindly of. For 3 years I have been ridiculed but upstarts who come up into the ranks with one or two great AMVs who in everyway try to pass judgment on me saying my AMVs suck and that I should just give up, I will admit my AMVs when I began did suck. However I would like to think that for the past year I have gotten significantly better and not as really as shy with using more things Adobe has to offer than I would have per say 2 years ago. The thing is those people who put me down are no longer around here let alone making AMVs, however "I'm Still Here". "I'm Still Here" trying to learn to get better and better and like always it mostly alone doing it. I can go on but that is pretty much the thick of what this AMV means to me.
  
  I did take in note that many may have not seen this AMV and this AMV MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS! Well I guess it can however being the one who watched the movie before I seen it I honestly believe there is MUCH more to the anime movie itself than the AMV that I created tells you. I guess I can look at it through two ways 1) This AMV I guess sort of sums up the anime in 4 minutes with the story of the woman going through "time" trying to find "someone" for people who haven't seen it or it can be a good trailer for you to see what its like before you buy it (and you should). 2) I guess is something that stick to me alot, for people who have seen this anime before should understand where I am coming from (hopefully).
  
  Well enough of this rambling, you want to see the AMV, so go ahead and do so. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it, the AMV begins with sort of a surprise, any of you who has watched my AMVs through the 3 years will know where I may come from with it.
  Without further a do the AMV "I'm Still Here".