Aha, now that makes sense. I have onboard audio, and I have been warned my CMOS battery has severe troubles. Hardware acceleration was not the problem, as not even the lowest level seemed to fix it. I'll try updating the driver, but most likely I'll have to reflash the damn BIOS. Time for some serious backup here
By the way, I wasn't able to get any help from google until I typed "chipmunks". Now this kind of problem has an official name!
The chipmunks ate my sound card!
Thanks again for the help, AMVfreak. If I don't show up again in the forums again for some time, well, nobody said reflashing your bios wasn't rocket science
