Gollum talks about the Eva movie! I'm not making this up!

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the Black Monarch
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Gollum talks about the Eva movie! I'm not making this up!

Post by the Black Monarch » Thu Jan 29, 2004 4:55 am

Apparently WETA is keeping really close tabs on the Eva community's reaction to the movie and has quite the sense of humor:

http://www.kojiroabe.com/Comedy-%20Goll ... 0movie.mp3

I have attempted to transcribe it as well as I can, but that little guy has a pretty bad accent. My transcription follows:
Gollum wrote: "I hear that they're making a new Neon Genesis Evangelion movie."
"Yay, we love Evangelion! It's my precious!"
"But it's different precious."
*cough cough*
"It be different?"
"Not going to be set in Japan. And they changed all the names."
"It can still be good precious."
"Cruel Hollywood change Tokyo-3 to New City. And Asuka is called Kate Rose, I mean what the fuck are they thinking?"
*cough cough*
"Yeah but the story, the story will still be good, and the special effects made by those fat guys at WETA who made us look so good in The Lord of the Rings, imagine what they'll make the Evas look like!"
"It's all digital CGI filth. Those stupid fucking designs by those pricks at WETA workshop. [Warlocks have to? War looks up to?] do nothing with my precious little [virgin?], [with?] new city [who could have made by?] Simcity 2000. And those Evangelions are just plain fucking ugly."
*cough cough*
"But they're so cool and vicious-looking! And look at that image of Unit 02 looking over the horizon, so beautiful it captures the anime so well, NERV headquarters looks really cool."
"Yes, but they can't be trusted, precious... noo... those [mindmongers?] at ADV will cheat Anno out of all of his royalties, and the movie will open with so many stupid brainless fucking teenagers all talking about it. Evangelion is for smart, sophisticated people, and teenage boys with sexual problems, not stupid, mentally handicapped bloodthirsty teenage jocks!"
"So what? It will be a good movie!"
"They're going to cut out the masturbation scene, precious."
*cough cough*
"NOOOOO! Kill them! Kill them all!"
Any help with deciphering the rest will be greatly appreciated.

I think they've summed up the whole debate pretty neatly :) If only WETA was writing the scripts as well...
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TheMadOne
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Post by TheMadOne » Thu Jan 29, 2004 7:28 am

"They will cut the mastrubation scene"

HURRAY! Maybe As... "Kate Rose"´s last stand will be longer than what? 2 minutes?

After all, I´m looking forwad to what they are doing to EVA. After ep. 18, it started to suck more and more anyway (ep. 24 was awesome, though), not to mention the movies. I mean: EoE? Jacking off 6 minutes, fighting the best fight ever for 2 minutes? This has to be hollywoodized.

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)v(ajin Koji
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Post by )v(ajin Koji » Thu Jan 29, 2004 8:07 am

:¬ \

I like the way Gollum thinks...
I'm bored and you're dumb. A match made in heaven.
- Kai Stromler to son_goten.
Last edited by )v(ajin Koji on Mon 21, 2011 9:36 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Otohiko
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Post by Otohiko » Thu Jan 29, 2004 3:13 pm

:applause:
The Birds are using humanity in order to throw something terrifying at this green pig. And then what happens to us all later, that’s simply not important to them…

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The Hitokiri Battousai
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Post by The Hitokiri Battousai » Thu Jan 29, 2004 3:48 pm

that Gollum impersonation was horrible :x

the cough was all wrong!! :evil:

:lol:
She Said, "Don't Make Others Suffer For Your Personal Hatred."

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Lone Wolf
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Post by Lone Wolf » Thu Jan 29, 2004 10:52 pm

That, my friends, is one of the most hilarious things I've heard in a long time! :lol:
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dwchang
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Post by dwchang » Fri Jan 30, 2004 1:22 am

This is truly your best post ever ;)
-Daniel
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Post by Snapplemonkey161 » Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:43 am

Yeha the impersonation was aufull... when he sayd F**** you could hear him get off the voice and i agree with the cough's

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the Black Monarch
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Post by the Black Monarch » Fri Jan 30, 2004 3:44 am

TheMadOne wrote: After ep. 18, it started to suck more and more anyway (ep. 24 was awesome, though), not to mention the movies.
I dunno what you've been smoking, but from 15 onward the show kept getting better and better. More revelations, more drama, less comic relief and "fanservice," etc. However, if you want to say that episodes 25+26 and the movie sucked, I won't disagree :)
dwchang wrote:This is truly your best post ever ;)
Thanks, but I disagree :)
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