The Vent Thread

[Castor Troy]

Sure you might end up wanting to avoid cars if you ever get into a car accident, but are you really going to be better off never driving in the future? Would you really rather be stuck to things in walking distance from you than get in a vehicle? Does it make all the places you've been to thanks to cars before you had the accident worthless?

To the first question, very possibly. To the second, why not? To the third, no, but it puts everything else into perspective. Your relationship with your more immediate surroundings becomes different.

Having never had a license or having owned a car, I've walked most everywhere all my adult life. I've noticed my attitude toward the city or town in which I live ends up being fundamentally different from those around me. What you do have available to you becomes more essential, less liable to be taken for granted. If you want to compare vehicular transportation to love, because they both help you reach places you couldn't before (cars physically, love emotionally), you consider the alternative. Cars get people places quickly, help them do more in less time. Love focuses and intensifies emotional ties with one person, effectively reaching a higher ground more quickly. Both create a sort of dependency that make it difficult for a person to cope without.

Having loved and lost, I don't know if the convenience of love was worth the crippling afterward. In the last 3 years I haven't even approached the "crush" relationship with another person. I feel cut off and isolated. I interact with people, relate with them and empathize with them, but never really connect. I don't even think self-dependence is necessarily the best path, but the sort of focused purpose of love tends to exclude the scenery of life; meaningful interactions with other people. I think I can live a fulfilling life without that single relationship to which we could ascribe the word "love." I think I can walk, stroll, and saunter through the crowds and not feel alone. But I still feel crippled, like I could do more, and without that one extra thing I'll be missing something crucial.

At least you can get insurance with cars.

I'd LOVE to never have to drive again and just walk everywhere.

I should probably live in new york.

[Otohiko]

You do have good points Flint, but I don't think any of them boil down to "better..." - it's just a different way perspective. Yes, relationships fuck you up. But as you can see, the possibility of success and reaching something better still makes it worth it. And in the weird way, I think even the hurtful experiences are or can be productive. You probably wouldn't learn anything without them.

Also, the irony....

Having never had a license or having owned a car, I've walked most everywhere all my adult life. I've noticed my attitude toward the city or town in which I live ends up being fundamentally different from those around me. What you do have available to you becomes more essential, less liable to be taken for granted. If you want to compare vehicular transportation to love, because they both help you reach places you couldn't before (cars physically, love emotionally), you consider the alternative. Cars get people places quickly, help them do more in less time. Love focuses and intensifies emotional ties with one person, effectively reaching a higher ground more quickly. Both create a sort of dependency that make it difficult for a person to cope without.

I've never owned a car in my life, nor really plan to
So I suppose my analogy already has a bunch of holes in it. I love walking and I've never really felt a need to own a vehicle. I'm happy without one, though it doesn't mean that I consider cars somehow unproductive or unworthwhile. And other people still drive me places.

The bottom line is where you're going in the first place with your life and what you want out of it. If your life is focused on somehow possession, attachment, permanency and avoidance of loss, you're going to be sorely disappointed either way. The problem is that avoidance of loss doesn't actually work, and having less to lose doesn't mean that there's not going to be things you'll be unwilling to part with but will be forced to. Viewed from a fatalistic perspective, life is simply the unstoppable process of losing everything. It could happen slowly, it could happen quickly, but it will happen. And it will hurt. Degrees of hurt and degrees of loss don't even really matter - because like I said, in the end they equal the loss of everything. On the other hand, if your life is focused on acceptance of loss, affirmation of your ability to act and to love, and search for unity with (rather than safety from) the world, you will find that even in the most miserable places. Love - which can take many forms, not necessarily romantic - isn't just a "vehicle" to get you there. It IS the very experience of acceptance, affirmation, unity, and ultimately also of loss. It's all there is. That doesn't mean you should rush head-first into trauma and fuck yourself over as quickly as possible, of course. But it also doesn't mean shutting down any possibility for fear of loss. In the end, being dumped or rejected is a small loss compared to what awaits you in later life, and it's much better to take the risk and have someone to face that later life with later.

[Metallilyn]

I just actually got out of the Psychiatric Hospital, and I'm finally home. I feel like I really let myself and my family, heck, even Re-Evolution down since I let myself get to a low point and I finally broke. I feel comfortable telling you all this because I know there isn't any reason to judge, I basically Baker Acted myself to the nearest Psychiatric facility and I am home now. I was in for six days. I'm ready to go back to editing, with a clearer head. I think that all the stress with my grandfather being in and out of the hospital, sick kitties, no money, no job anymore, and I dropped out of schooling for Graphics Technology, I feel like a really big void in my life is building. I don't really enjoy doing anything anymore. I'll go outside when I'm home and have some coffee and a cigarette, but I'm quitting smoking because I don't even like THAT anymore. I'm just happy about one thing.. I'm alive. As sappy as that sounds I'm so happy to be here, to see and hear my grandpa say that he loves me which he rarely does, even though I know he does because he feels it, but raaaaarely says it.

[Flint the Dwarf]

Now you're just depressing me, George.

I'm gonna go back to being alone and totally okay with it. Okay with what I have to be okay with!

[Castor Troy]

Today's been a fairly normal day and I'm not mad or anything.

But my mood has been constantly shifting from being normal to wanting to go into a wolverine like rage for no reason.

I think I'm pregnant.

[Emong]

Pff, I celebrate 28 years of being single next week

...

/rageface

It seems I'm still 5 years behind since I just turned 23. But to be honest it stopped making a difference a few years ago

I don't think I have any worthy input to the conversation. As someone who never got past the superficial crap I don't feel like I can say much about relationships or love past the level of friendship. Is obsessive fixation on a particular person something emotionally secure? Probably not. But, as Otohiko said, I don't think the opposite, avoiding the risk because of the fear of getting hurt, is either. Intuitively speaking that is.

Also, just because there can never be enough Zizek..



@Metallilyn,
Sorry to hear all that. But you know, void is not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe you just need time and space to breath? Enjoy your time with your grandpa and drinking your coffee

[CodeZTM]

I just actually got out of the Psychiatric Hospital, and I'm finally home. I feel like I really let myself and my family, heck, even Re-Evolution down since I let myself get to a low point and I finally broke. I feel comfortable telling you all this because I know there isn't any reason to judge, I basically Baker Acted myself to the nearest Psychiatric facility and I am home now. I was in for six days. I'm ready to go back to editing, with a clearer head. I think that all the stress with my grandfather being in and out of the hospital, sick kitties, no money, no job anymore, and I dropped out of schooling for Graphics Technology, I feel like a really big void in my life is building. I don't really enjoy doing anything anymore. I'll go outside when I'm home and have some coffee and a cigarette, but I'm quitting smoking because I don't even like THAT anymore. I'm just happy about one thing.. I'm alive. As sappy as that sounds I'm so happy to be here, to see and hear my grandpa say that he loves me which he rarely does, even though I know he does because he feels it, but raaaaarely says it.

/huggles

Good to have you back.

[Qyot27]

I think I'm pregnant.

I was pregnant once. And then I had a hepatitis vaccine and entered 7th grade.

[Radical_Yue]

Holy baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls .___.

I would set a nursery on fire if it meant I could go back to bed right now.


so.fucking.tired.

[Enigma]

I keep having this dream where I'm a pre-school bus driver and i keep continuity driving the buff of a cliff and jumping out at the last second and lettin all the kids die.