The zodiac is just fucked up

[godix]

When I'm at a chinese place that gives you those menus with the chinese zodiac on them I sometimes just read through the descriptions and decide which I feel best matches me, THEN I go find which one I actually am. Different place-mats use different phrasing so I usually don't think I'm the same symbol, but it's rather rare I actually decide my best match is the one I actually am. For example, a quick google search tells me that according to the chinese zodiac I don't believe in taking shortcuts, sincere, patient, and others enjoy being around me. That definitely doesn't describe me.