Cereal Experiments >.< oooooh

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danielwang
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Cereal Experiments >.< oooooh

Post by danielwang » Thu Aug 28, 2003 10:35 pm

Cereal Just Got Scientific… And A Lot More Fun

Watch out next time your pour that bowl of cereal, kids.
Using modern nanotechnology and Nipponese bladesmithing techniques centuries old, inventor Eugene Wunsch has created cereal that’ll literally stand up.

A member of the American Society of Cereal Engineers (ASCE) and tenured faculty at the Aeris Polytechnic Institute, Dr. Eugene Wunsch says he was just experimenting when he created the revolutionary new cereal technology. “I didn’t invent the actual science, I just found a method to apply it to cereal flakes”, Wunsch humbly insists. But brand name manufacturers such as Kellogg’s and General Mills are lining up outside his Boulder, CO, office to bid on exclusive patent licensing rights.

The side floating effect, according to Dr. Wunsch, is caused by the variable density from one side of the flake to the other – simple in principle, but easier said than done. “Let’s say you want one side to have 70% air pockets and the other side having 10% air. Changing flake geometry obviously won’t work. With steel, you can use density migration to do this. Cereal’s too soft.”

Finally, after reading about spinodal decomposition techniques used by Nipponese bladesmiths, Eugene was inspired to see if the same technique would work in cereal cooking. It worked, but there was a slight problem: “Unlike a sword, you can’t coat half the flake in clay before baking it”. Again, inspiration came to him, this time in the form of a “Chick-Fil-A” sample stand – by placing the cereal flake on a grid of small infrared lamps, he could control the heating process by varying the lamp’s power – a process known in the materials science field as selective annealing or zone treatment.

IMAGE!
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Dr. Eugene Wunsch plans to present his discoveries at the ASCE Regional Conference today in a paper entitled “Allotropic Transformations of Pastry Heat Tempering”. The plenary lecture will be at the Holiday Inn DIA, 29 Aug Friday at 20:00.

Kellogg’s and General Mills stock was up in afternoon trading today.
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leathelanime
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Post by leathelanime » Thu Aug 28, 2003 10:47 pm

I didnt read that because I find your posts boring...but Captain Crunch with Lucky Charms is TEH SHITZ!

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kthulhu
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Post by kthulhu » Thu Aug 28, 2003 10:49 pm

There are only two ways I want my cereal: delicious and in my stomach.
I'm out...

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fyrtenheimer
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Post by fyrtenheimer » Thu Aug 28, 2003 10:58 pm

does that guy ever shut the hell up?

this doesn't gain our attention. we'll never like you.


never.
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StreetFuryX
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Post by StreetFuryX » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:04 pm

Cereal and science...together...not computing...must find spatula...

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Warpwind
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Post by Warpwind » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:14 pm

Oh my you are really annoying... you know that?

The only people who are going to find that funny are people who are actually working in the field... and the majority of them will probably just pick holes in it like I did.

That is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. SEM images do not look like that fool. There is not such thing as colour in an image existing purely of electron density. And in case you say it's a false colour image representing density variation... you would have no way of false colouring it according to variable structral density... it's impossible. "grid of small infrared lamps" What the? what the hell does that have to do with selective annealing?

Meh, why am I even argueing with him?

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BrahRizor
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Post by BrahRizor » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:33 pm

I'll blame it on that the next time i get a message in my alphabits, like

oooooooooo, o wait thats cheerios
Behold my....signature!

danielwang
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Post by danielwang » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:34 pm

Warpwind wrote:Oh my you are really annoying... you know that?

The only people who are going to find that funny are people who are actually working in the field... and the majority of them will probably just pick holes in it like I did.
It is supposed to be satire.
Like http://www.bbspot.com/
It is not an academic journal article. It's crude humour. Who the hell would be doing materials research on *****ing CEREAL anyways?
Warpwind wrote:That is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. SEM images do not look like that fool. There is not such thing as colour in an image existing purely of electron density. And in case you say it's a false colour image representing density variation... you would have no way of false colouring it according to variable structral density... it's impossible.
Why do science textbooks give all sorts of fancy colouration to the conceptual diagrams? They just do... and this is satire.
Warpwind wrote:"grid of small infrared lamps" What the? what the hell does that have to do with selective annealing?
Meh, why am I even argueing with him?
The grid of infrared lamps would allow for zone heating. By supplying more energy to the LEDs on one side, that side of the cereal flake would cook faster. This can be compared to selective annealing - the gradient allotropic change in the material based in the rate and amount of heat application.

It's still satire of course, although slightly informed.

Though I'm still wondering if it is possible to make Cinnamon Toast Crunch float on it's side... that would be cool.
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danielwang
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Post by danielwang » Thu Aug 28, 2003 11:36 pm

danielwang wrote:
Warpwind wrote:Oh my you are really annoying... you know that?

The only people who are going to find that funny are people who are actually working in the field... and the majority of them will probably just pick holes in it like I did.
It is supposed to be satire.
Like http://www.bbspot.com/
It is not an academic journal article. It's crude humour. Who the hell would be doing materials research on *****ing CEREAL anyways?
Point made there.
Did you know that BBSpot also makes bogus pictures as well? That they don't make sense? Just like mine!

Example
Image
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Warpwind
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Post by Warpwind » Fri Aug 29, 2003 12:01 am

Yes but why oh why are you posting humour here that is very specific in the types of people it would appeal to?

If you are going to post humour prehaps it should be anime related... that's what the majority of people are here for anyway. I don't assault people with my weird earth science humour (generally anyway).

I appreciate that it is satire but it's not a particularly good one.
and yes people are doing acedemic research on cereal including materials chemistry

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