Orwell's Guide to Getting the Girl.

[Orwell]

Pretend you're gay and then wait for 2-3 months while enduring questions about her boyfriend, should she do some rather naughty things with him on the first or second date, asking you if she looks good in this lingerie, washing her back in the tub, watching her walk around naked in the apartment (you are gay after all) and having pajama parties during which you will learn why men are pigs. You'll also probably have to go on 2-3 dates with her homo-friends because she will want you to be happy. But you must endure. After these 2-3 months she will inevitably get dumped by her awful boyfriend who only wanted to have incredibly pleasurable sex (for both of them) with her 3 times a day and had a huge dong.

But it's not what she wants. She wants a friend, someone to talk to. Admit you lied and that you weren't gay and that you realise that you love her and try to kiss her. She will scream at you for lying to her all this time , pack her things and leave. You will be deeply depressed for a few days because she won't answer the phone and she was to leave to Mozambique, Kongo, Belgium or some other remote third world country.

You'll be totally depressed for letting her go. But on the morning of the day she is too leave you will get a flashback with some incredibly tear-jerking song of all the moments you've spent together. So you'll get on a cab with a cool hindu/pakistani driver who will take on a ride to the airport that will make flying in a Russian pre-WWII airplane over Siberia in -50 degrees Celsius seem like the safest mode of transportation. When you will finally get to the airport you will see her plane leaving. You will fall down on your knees and start crying. Then she will be standing next to you saying "I missed my flight" after which you will fall in each others arms and passionately kiss, merry talk a whole lot and have kids (probably the 2-3 times you will actually be making love to her after all it';s not what she wanted) and live happily ever after (unless you will find out that she from time to time has incredibly pleasurable sex with her Ex-boyfriend (the one strapped like an elephant) or she will see your posts on this forum. Oh well. You gotta take risks.

Or you'll find out that you actually are gay making this attempt to help you through these last few months worthless. But you could steal her boyfriend (the one with the... you already know) and have incredibly pleasurable sex with him and turn him into a nice and honest lover.

Either way it's a win/win situation. Go for it.

[Kosmit]

Foolproof

[Niotex]

-_-

[guy07]

[Willen]

Didn't I see a movie like this?

[CodeZTM]

BRILLIANT! =D

Excuse me, I need to go find some fabulous scarves and sunglasses that cost me 5-6 hundred dollars. And as I'm sure Hunter will tell you, I've got the voice to pull this off.

[Kionon]

I've totally done this.

[Knowname]

I've totally done this.

yeah your like specimin b lol the one we threw in the rubbish

[Otohiko]

Beo 5, Orwell 1

good play sir

[Orwell]

Part 2.