Taco Bell is full of fucking morons

[godix]

I'm surprised they have as many locations as they do because if you think about it, how many actual medically diagnosed mentally handicapped people are there in the country? You'd think there would be an upper limit on how many Taco Bells there are just because they ran out of retards to run the stores. But somehow they keep opening new stores and even managed to get the dumbest SOB who has an IQ so low they had to redefine the scoring system just to keep him from going into negatives then they gave this bastard the job of website design.

So it started off as a minor annoyance. The Taco Bell around here is open late. How late? I don't know, I don't work there so I don't need to know. But at 12:55am I drive past Taco Bell and their light is on and the 'drive thru open' sign in their windows is on. So like any rational person I assumed they just might be open. A quick trip through their drive thru taught me that no, they aren't open. The 'Drive Thru Open' sign must be always on or something because it certainly doesn't mean the drive thru is actually open. I was wondering if they closed at 1am and the people just wanted to go home early so I tried looking up the store hours online. That's where this story turns from 'crappy employees at a crappy fast food dump act crappy' to 'I'm gotta look up stupid in a thesaurus, I'm going to need each and every synonym to tell this story'.

Their website is flash only. Not 'we recommend flash but here's some info for those of you smart enough to install No Script'. Nope, use flash or go fuck yourself. Or to be more accurate, use flash because they couldn't find an 8 year old who actually knows HTML so had to rely on some guy busy shitting in his own pants because he hasn't figured out the toilet yet to mindless point and click in whatever software they used to develop the flash site. Considering what the site looks like, I'm guessing that software was MSPaint.

So I enable flash this session only and look around for a contact address. Buried under the magical floating hot sauce packets that are somehow supposed to entice you to buy Taco Bell (Oh look, plastic bag thingies! It looks so tasty! This is marketing brilliance at least equal to their 'Want some (picture of a dog)' slogan they put on taco wrappers a decade ago) is their contact link. Click on it and instead of a webform or, god forbid something as complex as an email address,is a question asking when I was born. WTF? They don't need that information. My birthdate has nothing to do with the fact they can't figure out how to turn off the drive thru open site or how to write a webpage that isn't some bloated piece of multimedia crap.

My next joyous Taco Bell experience was finding out that if you tell them you were born in 1801 they block you from contacting them. They say you are too young to communicate with them. I wish I was joking but this is honest to god true. Face met palm at this point.

So back to the form and lie to them but in a more believable way. I suddenly gained 70+ years as I tell it I was born on Jan 1st 1900. Their form still doesn't want to let me communicate, 109 year olds are still just too young. Cause we all know what a rash of crime those 108 year old gang members are causing. Can't even drive down the street because granny in her walker is in middle of the street with her pants around her ankles and rap music playing loud enough the people in the next town can make out the lyrics. Fine, whatever, I claim 1950 next. The form suddenly decides I am old enough to talk to them.

Next up is the webform where they ask every piece of information needed to commit identity fraud except my social security number. Whatever, I fill in the email address and type my message. Their marketing drones can go do their own damned research. But nope, that's not good enough. In order to talk to Taco Bell they *REQUIRE* I tell them my first name, last name, address, phone number, and work phone number. Work phone number? They actually require this? WTF? I imagine the poor guy who just got laid off, which isn't exactly uncommon these days, who stops by Taco Bell on the way home to tell his wife and kids they have no income. He wants to communicate his experience to Taco Bell and gets that final extra kick in the balls of being told that if he's unemployed then Taco Bell doesn't consider him work speaking with. Can't have those non-working bums at Taco Bell can we? It'd lower their high class atmosphere.

So long story short, Taco Bell has just joined McDonalds, Best Buy, and any car dealer who yells at me in commercials in my list of 'Businesses I will never again in my life buy from'.

Alternate shortening of long story: Some days I feel pissy and go off on the dumbest shit

[wurpess]

This reminds me of back when I was in HS. A friend of mine applied for a job at Taco Bell. She said they made her take an IQ test when she applied. She was kinda afraid to do too well on it.

[ngsilver]

ah, so that's what the pissy godix in the chat was all about.

gotta love idiots working simple mathematical operations ^^

[Coffee 54]

If we're sharing, I've got a Taco Bell Horror Story. A couple of my friends were eating at one of those Pizza Hut/Taco Bell combo places here if southern California. While waiting for their food, two of the employees, one male one female, decided to take a break together. In the bathroom, for better umm... privacy. When they had finished 'sharing each others company' and came out, the girl was wiping her mouth off with her hands, then went straight back to preparing the food! There are certain things that, when present on ones hands, demand extensive cleansing efforts be taken before touching food. THAT is one of them.

Yeah, my friends left without food that day, and in fact still refuse to eat at either restaurant.

[guy07]

We need a VCA for rants. lol

[BasharOfTheAges]

I actually got a parasite at a Taco bell - and i'm not 100% sure if I still have it or not.

[Willen]

Not Taco Hell Bell, but for some reason, the last 5(!) of 6 fast food places I've visited (in order, McDonald's, Jack in the Box, a different McDonald's, Arby's, and a different Jack in the Box) have all managed to interpret my "for here" response to their "for here, or to go?" question as "to go". Maybe my mistake was replying in regular English. Or somehow I have equipped on myself a defective Star Trek Universal Translator that only converts my "for here" responses into "to go" and nothing else. Or they have really bad aim and occasionally hit the wrong button (and don't care to remember my response and just go by the damned order screen/receipt). Or they are idiots.

Oh, and I made sure to sit in full view of those people and ate my meal in front of them. Maybe I'm too subtle and I should actually say to their face that they fucked up and demand a tray. I should have left the bag they put my meal in on the table and made them clean it up, but I'm not that much of an asshole (yet).

At least the Taco Bell I visited between the aforementioned first Jack in the Box and the second McDonald's got my order right.

[JaddziaDax]

in some places they just don't care if its here or to go, they will bag it either way

[guy07]

in some places they just don't care if its here or to go, they will bag it either way

Subway, anyone?

[JaddziaDax]

ah Subway Eat Fresh. (from a bag)