the folks

[8bit_samurai]

Hmm... Let's see. Outta my step family, I take after my dad, being the youngest of the sibings. My birth mother was also the youngest of her siblings. Outta my blood siblings, I'm 4th oldest outta 11 or so. I'm 3rd oldest outta my real father's kids, 2nd outta my birth mother's side. My real father was 2nd oldest outof his siblings. Don't really know much about my parents regarding their past history BH (Before Henry, me). It's sorta complicated. Also, there were traditions my parents followed that people these days don't do. I'm a full blooded Alaskan Native, although I don't act as one when it comes to traditions and such. :/

[downwithpants]

Magically, they discovered how to encourage excellence without making me feel unduly pressured. Result: I have a great resentment-free work ethic.

i'm curious, how'd they do that? it's not easy to do.

[Shazzy]

Magically, they discovered how to encourage excellence without making me feel unduly pressured. Result: I have a great resentment-free work ethic.

i'm curious, how'd they do that? it's not easy to do.

Emphasizing results of success/involvement/work visually. My dad wanted me to join the debate team, so instead of pushing me to sign up, he took me to a finalist policy round. Seeing those guys talk 300 miles a minute was more motivating than him telling me what a great opportunity it was. Same thing with theatre, music, etc. They took to me a really good high school drama production and my mom talked about the acting she had done in HS/college, which led me to thinking, "hey, why can't I do that?" They're great at introducing opportunities in a positive light without saying "you should do this," or "we want you to do that."

And as far as actual school goes...while they did expect perfect grades, they phrased it as "you're too smart to not get As." That sunk in as, "Yeah, I'm not stupid, I'm keeping my 4.0." I was self-motivated from then on. Before middle school they didn't talk about grades at all. Scores were sent directly to the parents, so I didn't know grades existed in elementary school. If I wasn't doing well in a certain subject, my mom would play related educational games with me at home.

[Kusoyaro]

My parents are Asian.


...that's actually a pretty detailed description of them, when I think about it.

[Kionon]

My parents are Asian.


...that's actually a pretty detailed description of them, when I think about it.

Or you could read the Kusoyaro interview. It explains everything.

I don't like my parents, they don't like me. We talk very little, and only in regards to what we have to. Since I am living at home while I save up the cash to move back to Atlanta, our conversations are limited to "Do you want dinner?" "No." or "Please move your car." "Okay." and not much else. This has been true for most of my life, and I'm not much interested in seeing it change. Both of my parents are decent individuals, but they're not the personality type I would look for in a friend, and I am told they feel the same way about me (and now-a-days, that's the way they feel about it each other as well).

[badmartialarts]

I didn't know friendship had anything to do with parenting. :O


My parents, let's see...my mom is like a saint. Well, as I see her. She is patient in the face of pretty much any adversity, and is Christian to a fault. She makes miracles happen (like when I needed a costume for a school function in two days). She's friendly to everyone she meets; she'd probably be so nice to any potential mugger that they'd want to go to the nearest phone and call their own mothers. But before I praise her anymore, it's time to bury her a bit . She's kind of a slob, and is a total packrat, plus having a near photographic memory, so to her, a big pile of books and tapes and DVDs IS organized because she knows where everything is in it. I got this trait from her. :/ She's very tangenital, in the sense that if you start a conversation with her you'll likely be talking about anything but the original subject within five minutes. I'm like this too.

As for my dad...I didn't really appreciate my father when I was a child. He worked all the time, for two-three week stretches, then would be home for a week, then back to work (standard oilfield industry practice). When he was home he typically drank himself into a stupor and smoked like a oil refinery. I always saw how sad it made my mom to see im like that so I promised myself I'd never start smoking or drinking (I'll have the occasional alcoholic beverage but only socially and only one or two at the most.) When I was 5 or 6, he lost his job thanks to the oil industry bust of the 80s (Remember when gas was 69 cents a gallon? That was because OPEC flooded the market with cheap oil and crushed most of the US exploration and drilling companies.) He didn't work for 6 years. The oilfied was all that he knew, and he was too stubborn to look for any other kind of work. I tend to be pretty stubborn too. After my dad officially retired from working when he turned 62, and he stopped most of his drinking and smoking (not all of it though...shh...it's supposed to be a secret from Mom although she knows), I really got to know him better. He's very smart, but incredibly fatalistic about life (kind of like...me...though I rail against fatalism and end up just being cynical). And he lets things get him depressed easily without bothering to tell anyone about it (like...me again). I am a lot more like Dad than just looking like him, as I have found.

I was raised amazingly passively, especially compared to my siblings. Like a lot of the above posters mentioned, the youngest always tends to be spoiled. I am the youngest of 6, by 15 years to my next oldest sister. So I wasn't just spoiled by my parents, but also by my adult siblings. I was rarely punished (though Mom didn't spare the rod...or the spatula...or the yardstick...or the back of her hand on occasion). I got pretty much what I wanted when I wanted it...but luckily, I rarely wanted things other than books, which were free at the library. We were very poor because of my Dad's joblessness so material things were pretty much out of the question, which still leaves me fairly frugal, though if I do have extra cash I will spend it (so I've learned tricks to make sure I never have extra accessible cash.) Heck, I didn't ever realize we WERE poor until I got into high school, where things like clothing and cars started to matter, and all I could muster was driving Mom's car on occasion and wearing the latest in Wal-Mart sale item fashion.

[Orwell]

Since my internet sucks so hard, I guess I'll give a real answer to this. Short answer is, I have a symbiotic relationship with my family. That's about as far as it goes.

My mother.... Has never really stood firm. At times she'll put her foot down, but it's over small stuff, because I've almost never asked for anything excessive. Or hell, really, even anything midly expensive. She's rather messy, thoroughly spoiled, and has no ambition. Nothing drives her as far as I can tell.

She's never been all that supportive, and a attempt at conversation with her that means something to me usually leads to me talking for about a minute, and as soon as I lapse just a little in the flow of speech, it's off onto her own tangent until I just give up. For a very short while people thought I should see a psyschologist. Told me to go read some book about being shy, so I read the half that had information, then handed it to my parent to look at. "I'm a emotional bulldozer," is pretty damn accurate, as she put it. She'll provide physical necessities in life, but looking for a emotional connection with her/immediate family member? Not in this life time. I'd venture to guess this is why I have such a hard time with relations with other, from simple friends to anything even remotely similar to a significant other. Emotionally dead to other people. "Look at all the friends you have" "No, those are people who like to think they know me."


My father was never really around, they got a divorce when I was three. I've seen him occasionally over the years, once a blue moon, until the past two years or so. From what I know of him, I think I share a lot of my personality, and physical dispositions, to him, though you'd never know it considering how buried they are. Quick witted, enterprising, and a unrestrained attitude in going after what he wants, irregardless of others.

He seems like he'd like to get to know his children, but you can't replace 15 years with perhaps a month total of interaction in that time period. And I have no attachment to him. Seems like a cool guy, interesting to be around, I don't blame him for anything, nor, at least overtly, my mother, but that's it. Just another person on the street as far as I'm concerned. Or maybe not on the street, last I heard now about two years ago he had some sort of infection, so perhaps he's dead.

The only family member I've ever felt something to what I expect would be a normal parent-child relationship would be with my grandfather, but by the time I moved next door to him at 9, I've had my... outlook, on life set in concrete for at least a couple years. Not quite sure what to say of him. The only person around that I can have conversations with involving anything that currently holds my interest, from finances personal to global, to the standing of the US in the world, historical discussions is him, unlike my mother who's essentially worthless for intellectually stimulating conversations.

[ngsilver]

My parents are both devout Southern Baptists, so I think this should very quickly describe what they are like.

My relationship with my parents is an interesting one. I stay on good terms with them for the most part. They help me out from time to time so I like to keep it that way. However, as any of you can guess, I try to keep the majority of how I spend my days a secret from them and the rest of my extended family. I already get enough lip about having a fully stocked bar and would prefer not to get bitched out about what I do with porn, especially animated porn.

My involvement in anime has perplexed my parents for quite some time, and in their eyes this hobby of mine is childish and serves no merit in a 'normal' human life. The term 'normal' gets flung around my house very often, mostly coming from my mother.

My mother, the wonderful parent that she is, has always had an interesting way with words. I would often find myself being spoken to as if I was a lesser part of society just because of the hobbies I took up. It would seem that not being high on the honor roll or taking part in high school sports meant that I was less of a person, and as such, would make it no where in life. I can note hundreds of times when I would inform my mother that I would be in my room working on a story I would be writing (not like I had homework to do, since I finished that crap while I was in class) and her reply would be that I should study or play outside and that my writing would take me nowhere in life. Wonderful thing to hear as a developing author don't you think? Perhaps the fact that she was 'all that' in high school makes it difficult for her to fully accept me for who I am?

My father, surprisingly enough, was the geekiest jock I'd ever known while growing up. He played sports when he was younger and continued to play even while I was growing up. He's an Electrical Engineer who was never afraid of computers and as such I took a fancy to electronics from an early age. He taught me how to do carpentry, put up houses, and wire them. We don't really speak much, and when we do it is often just pleasantries, but sometimes we can speak for hours about new technologies or business opportunities. While he doesn't fully approve of my involvement in anime and the convention circuit he tries his best to figure out ways that I could corner a market and use my love for anime as a way to make money.

I get encouragement from my father, and discouragement from my mother. So now I often only tell my father about things I'm doing and leave my mother to berate me for drinking. I don't live with them so I usually talk to them over the phone about once a month and whenever they come up here to visit (we live about 500 miles apart).

[Kionon]

I didn't know friendship had anything to do with parenting.

Can't say anything about any other parents. I've only had two that I can remember. My biological father died in 1987, and while I know based on his preferences (he edited film for tv, liked science fiction, loved 80s hair bands), we probably would have gotten along, there is little sense in dwelling on it.

But I can say this, I hear about other people who had family road trips, or holiday activities, or family reunions, or traditions. My family (as there are only three of us) have no such thing. Nothing to unite us. So it may be in that sense I mention friendship or the like. We have no shared heritage. We are not, in the stereotypical sense, a family. We are three disgruntled aquaintences living in the same house pretending we owe each other something because we are "family."

[Shazzy]

My parents are Asian.


...that's actually a pretty detailed description of them, when I think about it.

Enlighten me? I'm really not familiar with "typical" Asian parenting..