Wellll, not exactly. Read on...
Some of you might remember me from the early days of AMV editing. I got my start way back in 1996 at Project A-kon 7, and I was deeply involved through the 2000s—my last AMV competition was in 2008. I was honored to be a Video Art Track guest at Anime Weekend Atlanta for many years, ran the AMV contest at MTAC for a while, and was a guest at JACON in 2002 and 2004, if memory serves correctly. If you’ve been around long enough, you might remember “Rhythm Animation,” "Video Girl Ai: The Fall," or “Nemutai Yatsura.”
I was part of what people sometimes call the golden age of AMV editing.
If you're curious, my full list of AMVs is here:
My Org Profile https://www.animemusicvideos.org/member ... er_id=2960And there’s even an old interview with me here:
Interview on The Org https://www.animemusicvideos.org/member ... rview_id=2I faded from the con scene after becoming a parent, and honestly, life took over. But I’ve always carried this community with me. The love, the creativity, the way we cheered each other on—it meant everything. And now, after 17 years, I’m thinking about coming back. But first, there’s something very important I need to share.
I’m Lostgirl now.
Last November, I came out as a transgender woman.
This is the first time I’m really saying this to the AMV world, and I’m doing it here because I know this community is full of incredible, kind, and accepting people. AMV editors take care of our own, and I’m counting on that love now.
I'm still at the beginning of my transition. I’m 53, and I have type 2 diabetes, which makes the timing of my medical transition critical—especially the gender-affirming surgeries I need to feel at home in my own body. Unfortunately, I work for a hospital system owned by the Southern Baptist Church. They’ve chosen to opt out of covering any gender-affirming care through our BlueCross BlueShield plan. Because of their policy, I can't access the life-saving surgeries I need.
So, I’ve started a GoFundMe.
All I’m asking is this: if my work ever made you smile, inspired you, or meant something to you, would you consider giving a little something... even if it's just $1... to help me afford bottom surgery, facial feminization, and vocal surgery? Every dollar helps.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-kaylee- ... -womanhoodAnd if I reach my goal? I’ll come out of retirement.
I’ll make a bunch of new AMVs.
I’ll bring all the love, creativity, and passion I used to pour into this artform—and then some.
A Little More About Why This Matters So Much…
I spent most of my life repressing who I was. I was sad, withdrawn, and constantly battling a deep sense of wrongness. But five years ago, my mother told me something that changed everything. The complete story is described on my GoFundMe, but I will briefly summarize it here.
When she was pregnant with me, she was in a serious car accident and was prescribed Diethylstilbestrol (DES), a synthetic estrogen that she was supposed to take for 4 weeks to prevent miscarriage. But she continued taking it for 5 and a half months due to an error in communication and in the writing of the prescription. By the time the doctor realized and told her to stop, I had already spent critical months of fetal brain development bathed in estrogen.
When she told me this story, suddenly everything made sense.
I had always felt like a girl inside. As a child, I prayed every night to wake up as one the next morning. I suppressed it because I thought I had to. But learning what happened during my development gave me clarity. More importantly, it gave me permission to stop blaming myself. I saw that this wasn't a psychological thing for me to try and overcome, but a very real medical condition. I had spent half my life thinking about death every night as I went to sleep. I felt resigned to this hollow existence. But since I have socially transitioned, it's been such a huge relief to finally be ME. Still, the journey is incomplete.
I’m not broken. I’m not wrong.
I’m me.
And now I want to complete the journey to live as the woman I’ve always been.
There’s so much more to this than I can say in one post, but here’s what I want you to know: Being transgender isn’t a mistake. It’s not a tragedy. It’s a truth—and for the first time in my life, I’m living mine. And what's more, I have come to realize that what happened to me by an accident may happen to many other trans people by nature--a few hormones go awry at just the right time, and a brain develops differently. It's rare, but it's valid, and it needs fixing! The brain cannot be changed, but the body can, and I cannot live happily until I feel right in my own body. Believe me, I have tried. And tried. and... well, you get the idea.
I hope you’ll stand with me. Whether you donate, share, or just send a message of love, it means the world. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
With love,
Lostgirl... a.k.a. KayleeKat
(formerly known as... well, you know
)
