Well that was a bad idea

[godix]

I'm bored and I derive schadenfreude from tales of losers. So entertain me with those little things in life where you realized it was a bad idea to do something about 2 seconds after you did it.

One of my early mistakes - I started dating the woman who would become mrs_godix in 1998. This was one year after South Park started and it was still the huge popular thing (and was still funny). So my future mother in law decided to get me a Chef stuffed doll. This one in fact:


Now I know there's no sense of scale in that picture, but let me tell ya, his hands are PERFECTLY spaced for grabbing tits. So one weekend around christmas they give me this. Immediately after opening it, I turn around and make this doll grab my wife's tits and basically molest her with it. On her parents couch. While her parents were watching. By time it dawned on me that this was a bad idea, I had already done it so I figured fuck it and kept doing it. It's not like if I stopped quickly that I'd be forgiven or something.

I got lucky though, both her parents found it hysterically funny. So unlike most married men, I can actually be myself around my parents in law without worrying about being on good behavior. There are limits though, another time I learned it is a very bad idea to ask how all the big tittie genes ended up with my sister-in-law instead of my wife.

As an added bonus, from then on I was not required to go to family things with the extended in-laws. In fact, I'm often encouraged not to. Especially if the very Christian branch of the family will be there.

[BurningLeaves]

I know I have better ones, but this is the last one I can remember. At work they changed alot of the procedures a month or so ago and one of the main changes was that we were not going to be using our large wall safe anymore, instead we would be using a smaller drop safe. The reason being was it is impossible for people to get into the section of the wall safe where the money is stored without having the bank and the armored car come and use a combination of their keys plus ours to open it.. Along with a combination yeah it was a whole big ordeal. So they changed it so we could use this smaller one we could get into and they called the bank and told them to stop coming everyday to get into the safe, we would just do larger deposits twice a week.

So the other day I was at work and was running around collecting the cash (while having the same pot head moron calling me every 30 seconds to remind her how to do her job) when I had got it all collected I went over to the wall safe and dropped the money in it. I had JUST started turning it over (it goes in like a small hole.. cut out thing then you spin the metal wheel and it drops whatever you had put into the opening into the safe) when I realized I threw my hand in there as fast as I could but it was already gone...

So yeah, I ended up dropping about $5000 into basically a hole in the ground that we no longer use. They had to call the old bank to get an emergency safe opening and even that was going to take a few days since it was the weekend. I single handedly caused a $5000 shortage to the store which then had to be reported to the security branch who then had to watch me on camera, along with my manager to make sure I had actually dropped the money in the wrong spot. Which I was told I looked 'hysterically funny' afterwords trying to ram my arm in a safe and then kicking everything in sight. All because of a mistake that took me under 2 seconds to make. It's funny how many issues are caused by sticking things in the wrong holes =/

[mirkosp]

It's funny how many issues are caused by sticking things in the wrong holes =/

Boy, what a widely true statement.

[Ileia]

I think that was the point of the comment, mirko

[CodeZTM]

I was trying to force a plug into a socket at work and get a new computer working. IT WOULDN'T FIT. So I tried jamming it in [stupid, I know], and BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BOOM. I blew the power outlet, our breaker AND fried the new computer's power source.

Whoops?

Once again, another issue because of sticking something into a hole. >_>

[mirkosp]

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

THAT SOUND

[BurningLeaves]

I think that was the point of the comment, mirko

Eh at least one person gets my sense of humor

[dreamawake]

I know I have better ones, but this is the last one I can remember. At work they changed alot of the procedures a month or so ago and one of the main changes was that we were not going to be using our large wall safe anymore, instead we would be using a smaller drop safe. The reason being was it is impossible for people to get into the section of the wall safe where the money is stored without having the bank and the armored car come and use a combination of their keys plus ours to open it.. Along with a combination yeah it was a whole big ordeal. So they changed it so we could use this smaller one we could get into and they called the bank and told them to stop coming everyday to get into the safe, we would just do larger deposits twice a week.

So the other day I was at work and was running around collecting the cash (while having the same pot head moron calling me every 30 seconds to remind her how to do her job) when I had got it all collected I went over to the wall safe and dropped the money in it. I had JUST started turning it over (it goes in like a small hole.. cut out thing then you spin the metal wheel and it drops whatever you had put into the opening into the safe) when I realized I threw my hand in there as fast as I could but it was already gone...

So yeah, I ended up dropping about $5000 into basically a hole in the ground that we no longer use. They had to call the old bank to get an emergency safe opening and even that was going to take a few days since it was the weekend. I single handedly caused a $5000 shortage to the store which then had to be reported to the security branch who then had to watch me on camera, along with my manager to make sure I had actually dropped the money in the wrong spot. Which I was told I looked 'hysterically funny' afterwords trying to ram my arm in a safe and then kicking everything in sight. All because of a mistake that took me under 2 seconds to make. It's funny how many issues are caused by sticking things in the wrong holes =/

> Calling a pothead a moron whilst you cause a $5000 dollar shortage to your store.

BRILNT

[surfsama]

Had a friend who lived up in a secluded canyon whose parents were going out for the weekend so he’d be alone. We thought it a brilliant idea to sneak up there at midnight and scare him a bit. Everything went as planned and we shut the power off at the main circuit breaker, pounded on the walls, and knock-over some cans to make it sound like some lunatics were outside. At one point we stopped and listened under an open window and heard what I foolishly thought was the clicking of a light switch. I then heard the front door unlock and in a moment of monumental stupidity thought it the perfect opportunity to finish-off the night and have a good laugh. So, out of the shadows I leaped-out at my friend and within 2 nano seconds realized the sound I’d take’ in to be a light switch was really my friend chambering his shot-gun, how everything looks and sounds in slow motion as I see a shot-gun barrel swing in my direction, hearing the words O-H S-H-I-T just before the crack of the business end of a boom stick, and finally realizing just how wrong this was going to turn-out.

Don’t know if in the last moment he realized it was me or just a bad shot but he missed (not by much) as I fell to the ground. That was the last time I ever scared anyone.

[Pwolf]

So yeah, I ended up dropping about $5000 into basically a hole in the ground that we no longer use. They had to call the old bank to get an emergency safe opening and even that was going to take a few days since it was the weekend. I single handedly caused a $5000 shortage to the store which then had to be reported to the security branch who then had to watch me on camera, along with my manager to make sure I had actually dropped the money in the wrong spot. Which I was told I looked 'hysterically funny' afterwords trying to ram my arm in a safe and then kicking everything in sight. All because of a mistake that took me under 2 seconds to make. It's funny how many issues are caused by sticking things in the wrong holes =/

where can i get a copy of this video?