The Vent Thread

[Qyot27]

So, in high school I'd have panic attacks so severe that the school had to call paramedics on a few occasions (I would lose motor control in my face, my arms and legs would lock up, very intense paresthesia in my limbs and chest, and in a couple of cases came along with what was essentially an emotional breakdown). And generally speaking, it was a combination of stress and other factors that were immediately relevant to being in the school environment. I've only had one flare-up since graduating in 2004, and that was before getting my wisdom teeth removed - and in comparison to the ones from school, it was much less severe.

I know that if I want to be able to reconnect with my friends from back then, there's really only one option these days: Facebook. Typically, though, the little amounts of anxiety trigger avoidance behavior from just the mere thought of signing up (and my having had open disdain for 'social media' sites for most of the last decade doesn't exactly help that). That nagging feeling of needing to do it has been getting worse and worse, though, and earlier today I actually started filling out the sign-up only to get that feeling of an impending panic attack coming on. I know exactly why it happens too, but there's little way for me to cope with whatever reality there is unless I just do it. But it means exposing myself to a ton of potential emotional pain that's been building up for 7 1/2 years, and how in the world can you try and prepare yourself for that? Any preparation you try to make only feeds back into the fear and hesitation.

[Emong]

^ Are you seeing a therapist or are you on some kind of medication? Because it sounds like they could be of help for you, that is, if you're really bothered about your anxiety.

[xnamkcor]

So, in high school I'd have panic attacks so severe that the school had to call paramedics on a few occasions (I would lose motor control in my face, my arms and legs would lock up, very intense paresthesia in my limbs and chest, and in a couple of cases came along with what was essentially an emotional breakdown). And generally speaking, it was a combination of stress and other factors that were immediately relevant to being in the school environment. I've only had one flare-up since graduating in 2004, and that was before getting my wisdom teeth removed - and in comparison to the ones from school, it was much less severe.

I know that if I want to be able to reconnect with my friends from back then, there's really only one option these days: Facebook. Typically, though, the little amounts of anxiety trigger avoidance behavior from just the mere thought of signing up (and my having had open disdain for 'social media' sites for most of the last decade doesn't exactly help that). That nagging feeling of needing to do it has been getting worse and worse, though, and earlier today I actually started filling out the sign-up only to get that feeling of an impending panic attack coming on. I know exactly why it happens too, but there's little way for me to cope with whatever reality there is unless I just do it. But it means exposing myself to a ton of potential emotional pain that's been building up for 7 1/2 years, and how in the world can you try and prepare yourself for that? Any preparation you try to make only feeds back into the fear and hesitation.

Maybe you could lock yourself in a room and constantly cause yourself mental stress instead avoiding it. Maybe you'll just get used to it. Maybe you'll lapse into some kinda coma and die. At least you tried.

PS: Drugging yourself into a walking coma also tends to solve your problem. You'll never feel anxiety again!

[Warlike Swans]

....
I know that if I want to be able to reconnect with my friends from back then, there's really only one option these days: Facebook....

Anxiety can be vicious.

If you're still in contact with someone from that time who is on Facebook and had the same circle of friends you could always have him/her pass your email address on to people.

If you do sign up for Facebook you could use just your first and middle name, or another moniker that would make it so that you'd have to find people rather than have them find you (and just send a message identifying yourself when you send friend requests). You could also wait to sign up until you have someone around who'll serve as moral support.

If you graduated HS 7.5 years ago you're probably around 25, so even if you remember some of your friends as drama fiends the odds are good that most of them have mellowed out by now. I'm not sure what emotional pain you fear from Facebook, but no one I've been in contact with ever tried to renew any ancient drama with me, and I certainly didn't have an exclusively cheery past with some of them.

Maybe you could lock yourself in a room and constantly cause yourself mental stress instead avoiding it. Maybe you'll just get used to it. Maybe you'll lapse into some kinda coma and die. At least you tried.

PS: Drugging yourself into a walking coma also tends to solve your problem. You'll never feel anxiety again!

Don't quit your day job.

[Qyot27]

The school pressured my parents into getting me to see a therapist like, 3 different times. Didn't really do much at all. One of those times also included a years' round of Paxil when I was 16. Truth be told, the earliest part of my interest in AMV editing was more therapeutic because it provided a creative outlet. The attacks were spaced out by months at a time (and now by years at a time), so it's doubtful whether the rounds of therapy or the medication were really necessary. If medication would help now, there's nothing I can do for it because my health insurance has lapsed (again; neglecting the part of whether it would even be covered), and I've not been able to secure any kind of employment.

Since I actually know what the triggers are, and they're really specific in nature, I know that the act of signing up and re-acclimating myself that way would help rather than hurt (but while I know this in the most rational and cool-headed sense, my mind still concocts these horrible scenarios to be worried about, and it's those things that cause the anxiety).

If you do sign up for Facebook you could use just your first and middle name, or another moniker that would make it so that you'd have to find people rather than have them find you (and just send a message identifying yourself when you send friend requests). You could also wait to sign up until you have someone around who'll serve as moral support.

If you graduated HS 7.5 years ago you're probably around 25, so even if you remember some of your friends as drama fiends the odds are good that most of them have mellowed out by now. I'm not sure what emotional pain you fear from Facebook, but no one I've been in contact with ever tried to renew any ancient drama with me, and I certainly didn't have an exclusively cheery past with some of them.

I turned 26 on the 10th. None of my friends were into causing drama, so I'm not worried about that. Nor am I really concerned about people finding me on there. It's more quarter-life crisis related, I guess - knowing that by this time the people I went to school with have graduated college (maybe even gotten Master's degrees or are working on doctorates), some have probably gotten married, maybe even started having kids, and meanwhile, I've just been 'stuck', barely moving beyond where I was when high school ended*. Having to confront that is what it's become now: the sense that everyone I cared about and life itself has passed me by.

*in some ways; I already mentioned above that the time has been valuable to sorting myself out a lot. But that doesn't go too far when faced with unemployment and no social life to speak of outside of the Internet.

[Qyot27]

*in some ways; I already mentioned above that the time has been valuable to sorting myself out a lot. But that doesn't go too far when faced with unemployment and no social life to speak of outside of the Internet.

Wait, I think I changed that part before I posted. It's true, though; I've worked out a lot on my own since then, so I do feel more confident and secure in myself than I did then, but that doesn't stop the worrying about things I don't want to think about.

[Pwolf]

knowing that by this time the people I went to school with have graduated college (maybe even gotten Master's degrees or are working on doctorates), some have probably gotten married, maybe even started having kids, and meanwhile, I've just been 'stuck', barely moving beyond where I was when high school ended*.

Don't worry about where other people are in their lives. Worry about your own. And don't worry about wither or not you're lagging behind. There's nothing that says you have to be married and have a masters degree at the age of 25. I went through this a few years back and I had to realize that all that doesn't matter. You can't compare your life with those of the people around you. You can idolize and aspire to have a life like theirs, but don't get yourself down about it. If you want a Masters degree, work towards it. It might take longer but when you finally get it, it will be worth it.

I suffer from anxiety as well. Not nearly as bad as I used to and not nearly as bad as the panic attacks you've described. It sucks. You have pretty much described what goes through my head when I'm feel anxious. You just have to try and ignore it and push through.

Everything has a consequence, good or bad. Just realize you have control. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you can't control your anxiety, then remove yourself from it. Facebook is just a tool. You don't have to use it. If you feel like it's going to be too much, remove your account so you wont use it. Come back later if you feel like you can handle it. Thats what I did. I had people from High School that wouldn't give me the time of day back then that wanted to be "friends"... I didn't want to deal with it so I removed my account after 3 months. Never turned back. I realized I really didn't need to use it. I found other ways to stay in contact with people.

Anyway, I was on medication for about a year. I was taking Lamictal, which is for bi-polar disorder but I was taking it to help with anxiety, and another med i can't remember. I think it helped. It didn't get rid of the anxiety but it helped me think better when the anxiety started to build up. While I still have anxiety, I feel like I'm more in control over it than I was before. It doesn't dictate my life.

[Emong]

The school pressured my parents into getting me to see a therapist like, 3 different times. Didn't really do much at all. One of those times also included a years' round of Paxil when I was 16. Truth be told, the earliest part of my interest in AMV editing was more therapeutic because it provided a creative outlet. The attacks were spaced out by months at a time (and now by years at a time), so it's doubtful whether the rounds of therapy or the medication were really necessary. If medication would help now, there's nothing I can do for it because my health insurance has lapsed (again; neglecting the part of whether it would even be covered), and I've not been able to secure any kind of employment.

Well that sucks because it might have been worth trying. Some people don't really benefit from therapy even if they try various forms of it with different therapists, in which case medication could turn out to be a better option even if it took a lot of experimentation to find the suitable one. I have a friend with severe mental problems who is like this (She even told me she had been in psychoanalytic treatment but apparently she got annoyed with the therapist's obsessive focusing on her mother ).

But anyway, it seems like you know exactly the nature of the problem you're having so I guess as long as you're motivated to overcome your obstacles and as long as you have people around you to talk to it'll be fine

[Pwolf]

But anyway, it seems like you know exactly the nature of the problem you're having so I guess as long as you're motivated to overcome your obstacles and as long as you have people around you to talk to it'll be fine

What he said.

[Pwolf]

Heh, oddly enough, there's a decent article on Lifehacker which goes over pretty much everything i've learned to try and tackle my anxiety:

http://lifehacker.com/5854633/how-to-be ... -your-life