My very cynical poem.
- Lyrs
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- downwithpants
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the poem's not bad.
it just gets repetitive though. perhaps if you move your better verses to the end it'd be a better read.
it just gets repetitive though. perhaps if you move your better verses to the end it'd be a better read.
this seems to be your weakest verse. in all your other verses, the actions of the subject are related(ex: see-hear, pick-choose), but in this one, they don't seem to be.She does not seem
And does not squint
And does not flare
And does not hint.
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- angelx03
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Adding on, the poem has pretty decent meter.downwithpants wrote:the poem's not bad.
it just gets repetitive though. perhaps if you move your better verses to the end it'd be a better read.
this seems to be your weakest verse. in all your other verses, the actions of the subject are related(ex: see-hear, pick-choose), but in this one, they don't seem to be.She does not seem
And does not squint
And does not flare
And does not hint.

- Flint the Dwarf
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- Azyne
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That was sort of the point. A who poem of one-syllabled words...sounds better when read...English major, huh?flint_the_dwarf wrote:Meter's pretty easy when all you use are one-syllable words.![]()
Oh wait, she had one two-syllable word.
Downwithpants, thanks for the advice. Yeah, I agree that that verse didn't relate much nor make so much sense. I'll have to change it.
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- Flint the Dwarf
- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2002 6:58 pm
- Location: Ashland, WI
Anyone can do poetry with one-syllable words. My little brother could pull of something as simple as that. And one-syllable words don't mean the poetry is bad, it takes a real poet to make a great poem with simple words, but yours wasn't good.Azyne wrote:That was sort of the point. A who poem of one-syllabled words...sounds better when read...English major, huh?flint_the_dwarf wrote:Meter's pretty easy when all you use are one-syllable words.![]()
Oh wait, she had one two-syllable word.

Don't try to think about it too much, it'll only confuse you.
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- Azyne
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flint_the_dwarf wrote:Anyone can do poetry with one-syllable words. My little brother could pull of something as simple as that. And one-syllable words don't mean the poetry is bad, it takes a real poet to make a great poem with simple words, but yours wasn't good.Azyne wrote:That was sort of the point. A who poem of one-syllabled words...sounds better when read...English major, huh?flint_the_dwarf wrote:Meter's pretty easy when all you use are one-syllable words.![]()
Oh wait, she had one two-syllable word.![]()


Don't try to think about it too much, it'll only confuse you.[/quote]
But alas, nothing can confuse the great one-syllabler.
