Attack of the Recruiting Officer!

Kamoc · Post by **Kamoc** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 12:33 am

it was about 12:00 in the afternoon, and silly me decided i wouldn't be bothered for another half an hour or so. i loaded up my demo of unreal tournament 2003 and proceeded to kick tons o' ass, that is until my little tiny brother came downstairs and proceeded to thrust the phone in my general direction. not knowing who in the world would call me now, i told him to stop being so damn gay and grabbed the phone thinking it was a freind of mine. the following conversation is real, nothing has been misquoted.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bob man! How's it goin' dawg?"

*at this point i was scared for my masculinity seeing as how i have absolutely NO freinds that would EVER gather up the courage to call me 'dawg', namely because my school's theme song is 'Who Let the Dawgs Out?', not to mention our mascot is a fucking bulldog, so by this time i either thought it was someone from my school and/or a gay homosexual trying to ask me out on a date. how cute!*

"Uh, it's going fine."

"Hey man, how's school goin'?"

"..uh, it's going fine."

"Fine huh dawg?"

"..uh, no, my cat's talking to me."

"..oh, well, what are you going to do after you get out of high school?"

*on a more serious note;
1. i FUCKING HATE IT when people ask me what i'm going to do when i get out of high-school. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, I'M FUCKING SCARED ENOUGH AS-IS, SAYING THAT TO ME NOW IS LIKE DRIVING ONIONS INTO MY EYES WITH PITCH FORKS. you'd think people would be conciderate and not give a shit, but oh nooooooo.
2. who in the name of hell is this guy? i have no idea if i know him or not, and he's asking me personal questions like this? well, all that was about to come out soon enough*

"Uhhhhhhhh, ummmm.. uhhhhhhhhhhh, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

"Heh, what's going down Bob-dawg? You don't know?"

"Yes, I do."

"Oh? What are you going to do?"

"Wait, no I don't."

"..okay Bob, I'm going to level with you. Have you ever concidered the army?"

*and the truth at last! a recruiting officer! gosh how i miss the days when they'd just ask you questions like "Hey, why don't you want to be in the army?", and "YOU GAY BOY?". but now they try to confuse you into believing that they're your freind! i was dieing a whole lot in the Unreal game because of this guy, so i decided to level with him*

"yes i have, but that's only if i don't know what i'm going to do when i get out of college and am forced to come over there with you guys and be concidered as your 'Dawg'. dat rizzite home slice?"

"i don't appreciate your tone of voice man."

"i don't either, but my cat just jumped in the river. i gotta go."

just in case you're wondering AGAIN, yes, that's exactly what i said to the guy. i'm just wondering, what would you've done?

R-A-N-M-A · Post by **R-A-N-M-A** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 12:37 am

At the point where he finally told me he was a recruiter I would have told him I have terminal lung cancer from heavy smoking and can't join the army.

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 12:44 am

I told one I had better plans for after High School than joining the army. When he asked me what it was I said "Working at McDonalds" and hung up.

I have nothing against any of the armed forces but that was like my fifth recruiting call, and on all four before that I told them I was already accepted to the college I wanted to go to and to not call me, I'd call them.

Kamoc · Post by **Kamoc** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 12:48 am

the fact that he called me wasn't as annoying as the fact that he constantly called me a 'dawg'. kill. kill kill death chomp.

R-A-N-M-A · Post by **R-A-N-M-A** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 12:57 am

You could say you just got diagenosed.

Hey Kamoc ehat did the picture you posted of amv town look like all I got was Xs.

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 1:00 am

no, it's the bandwidth limit stuff for geocities.

Chaos Angel · Post by **Chaos Angel** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 1:31 am

Heh. You think that's bad, try getting recruiter calls when you are ALREADY a military member! I joined the National Guard voluntarily, and I never got a recruiter call until AFTER I joined! Navy, Army, Air Force, they all suddenly became interested in me after I had already joined a branch!

Scares me, it really does.

Mroni · Post by **Mroni** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 6:29 am

If they ever give you the ink blot test where they drop the blot of ink and say what do you see? Just say can an 8 year old girl really do that with a duck and then walk away.

Mr Oni

klinky · Post by **klinky** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 6:37 am

No one levels with klinky when he says he hosts AMV town

http://misatokatsuragi.home.attbi.com/Kamoc/

Geezus :O

~klinky

Projekt[Navi] · Post by **Projekt[Navi]** » Mon Dec 09, 2002 7:24 am

Why would a recruiting officer say " dawg "? That f00 is trying to make the army all c00 but failed ..

I would say go suck a fish's titties ..

i spelled man wrong .. damn ..

XD