There is, of course, more to the story.
It started a few days ago when we had a big discussion about how dating me made her feel like she was a hypocrite and a bad role model to her brothers and sisters (she's black and I'm white). She was afraid that she was giving them the message that black men were not good enough for her. That, and I am apparently too damn nice and she feels guilty having me help her out so much when I don't ask for much of anything in return. Apparently, dating me makes her feel guilty and hypocritical. ::shrugs::
Then, the next day, she asked to borrow $20 to sign up for a section of an internet dating site so she could chat with the guy the site said is her soul-mate. I told her that it hurt me that she felt she had to go to some other guy to be her soulmate, and she said that she doesn't really think of me as the guy she's going to spend the rest of her life with.
That hurt.
I spent the next two days tossing that around and I was thinking of breaking up with her. My view being that if she doesn't see me that way, what's the point? Why date if she doesn't see me as the person she will spend her life with? (I am a dating-as-a-means-to-an-end guy.)
So, I spent the next two days thinking about that. Then, over lunch, a common friend of ours told us a story about a girl she knew who was 15 with a kid, but completely unwilling to learn her job. We had very different opinions on the matter, and it brought it to her attention just how different we are. We come from vastly different backgrounds and have very different thought processes and world views. Plus, in some aspects, she is not the kind of girl I am looking for. I like her, but in some ways, she isn't what I am looking for in a partner. I like to just pick out a shirt and jeans or slacks and boom, I'm dressed in five minutes. She takes an hour to do her hair and is very choosy about her clothes. I don't care more than bare nescessities (hygiene, etc.) about my appearence, she is driven to always look her best. I prefer to hang around my room and the dorm and just BS, she loves to go out and party.
We broke up this evening. We were walking to the library and apparently she had decided on the same course of action I did because as I put my arm around her (I had decided to act normal for the time being and talk to her about it later because she had just gotten back from a very successful interview and I didn't want to give her a downer so soon afterwards), she said "You know we're not a couple anymore, right?"
I guess she forgot she hadn't said anything yet or something.
I probably should have been pissed that she just spitted it out like that, but truthfully I was relieved to find that she was thinking the same thing I was. We talked about it and decided that we are very different people, and it just wouldn't work out long term. She was looking for someone nice and smart like me, but street-smart where I am more book-smart, and more athletic than I am. I'm looking for someone who shares similar tastes in music and movies as I do and likes anime like she does, but who is more stay-home oriented and a better match for my personality (and I didn't tell her this, but more low-maintenance too). We've both found out new things about what we are looking for in a partner, and I think that's a good thing. We will still remain friends (she's a good person and I would be glad to count her among my friends) but we are no longer dating. For the best on both counts, really, now that I can look at it from an outside perspective.
I am pretty happy, really. No movie-style throwing-shit break-up here. It couldn't have ended better.
I just hope that if I date anyone else here, she doesn't tell them too many horror stories...
Why am I posting this, you may ask? Welp, because I felt like sharing the story frankly. What better reason is there?
