Stop devil worship.

Tab. · Post by **Tab.** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:23 pm

Sept. 1 - FREEHOLD IOWA- Landover Baptist Pastor, Ebeneezer Smith used a blowtorch and a sword Sunday morning to demonstrate that Pokemon games and toys are only sugar-coated instruments of the occult and evil.
Earlier this week at Landover's Wednesday evening service, children's pastor Marty Richards told 714 kids ages 2 through 10 that Pokemon is evil and was sent to this planet under direct orders from Satan himself.

To drive home his point, Richards burned Pokemon trading cards and video games with a blowtorch and skewered 14 plastic Pokemon action figures with a 40 inch broad sword. Richards then held the sword with all 14 pierced Pokemon figures over a charcoal grill. Richards' 5-year-old son tore the limbs and head off a Pokemon doll and spit on the dismembered carcass.

During the demonstration, the children chanted: "Burn it. Burn it,'' and "Chop it up. Chop it up.'' "Kill them All!"

Manufacturers of the hugely popular Pokemon products, including Nintendo and Hasbro Inc., lied openly about Pokemon's association with the occult.

The national Christian Coalition told The Press on Friday that it fully agrees with Landover Baptist's stand against the ungodly toy industry. "Toy manufacturers are being guided by Satan's minions." One source stated, "Demons are instructing the Nintendo and Hasbro companies on how to corrupt a child's innocence and create a future army of junior Satanists that will one day rule the world!"

"We agree with Pastor Ebeneezer, and The Landover Baptist Corporation,'' said William Barnes, a spokesman for the national Christian Coalition based in Virginia. "It's a policy issue, a church issue, and a national security issue. We know all about it. We currently fund over 15 campaigns against the Pokemon menace.''

Pokemon, (pronounced POH-kaymahn), is short for pocket demons. The Devil loving phenomenon began in Japan over 20 years ago. A young boy summoned an evil demon to kill his entire family because they wouldn't buy him a stick of chewing gum at the supermarket. The demon came, and brought with it, other pokemons who jumped into the parents mouths while they were sleeping, and lodged themselves in their tracheas, suffocating an entire family, and setting the boy free to steal their money and buy gum.

"The whole idea behind Pokemon is to show a child that they can become a "powerful evil force, and they don't have to listen to their parents.'' Landover occult expert, Jonathan Edwards said. "Kids look for different Pokemon demons, find them and utilize their specific powers to create chaos in the home. It can be extremely violent, and the liberal media does not want anyone to know how many families have been torn apart since this menace began. The ultimate goal for a child is to collect them, and once they've collected all of them, they can have anything they wish for. In most cases, the child wishes for complete control over his entire family. The pokemons approach in the still of night, entering the parents mouths and lodging themselves in their tracheas until they suffocate. They then scurry off quietly and return to their masters bed. When authorities arrive, they are shocked to see no evidence of foul play. They observe only a smiling child, fast asleep, surrounded by stuffed animals and 'innocent little' Pokemons."

Deacon Fred, one of 37 co-pastors of the 125,000-member, fundamentalist-baptist church, said that his "antenna went up" over a year ago. While driving with his kids, he heard them in the back seat talking about "Abra'' and "Cadabra,'' "A chill went down my spine, and a trickle of perspiration dribbled slowly down to the small of my back!" He pulled the car over, took the Pokemon action figures from his children, placed them on the road, got back into the car and backed over them "100 times, until there was nothing left but shards of plastic." The teary eyed children watched from the roadside.

Pastor Deacon Fred said that he doesn't see why more unsaved folks don't see the Devil's hand in this. "Three of the Pokeman characters sprouts horns!" Another concern, he said, is that children exploring a Pokemon Web site can click to other games, including "Magic: the Gathering,'' a Satanic game similar to Dungeons and Dragons.

"It's got fancy sugar coating on it, but, underneath, it's Hell's poison,'' Pastor Deacon Fred said.

Focus on the Family, the Colorado Springs-based Christian organization whose messages reach as many as 5 million people weekly via radio broadcasts, has researched Pokemon, said David Wright , project coordinator the Youth Culture Department. "What we found, is so horrifying, and so schocking, it would drive an unsaved person to the brink of insanity! Godly Christians are the only ones who can see this Satanic attack, we don't expect sinners to understand our ongoing battle with principalities that are not of this world. We do however, expect them to take us very seriously, and to submit to our (God's) authority in destroying these little beasts before they make junior Satanists out of every child on the planet!"

http://landoverbaptist.org/news1099/pokemon.html

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:26 pm

<=========>

What did I tell you?

J-0080 · Post by **J-0080** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:28 pm

"Magic: the Gathering,'' a Satanic game similar to Dungeons and Dragons.

This proves they know not what they talk about.

J-0080.

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:33 pm

Oh sure they do. Just go to their home page and read the rest of the site, and you'll be a newborn Christian! Like me.

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:36 pm

This is from a satire web site, right....RIGHT? >_>

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:37 pm

Why don't you read and decide for yourself?

I like that. I'm gonna buy that drink now. It'll cause orgies right in the middle of the street.

LightningCountX · Post by **LightningCountX** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 7:03 pm

these are reasons why its bad to believe in God and Satan people....cause it makes you grill pokemon at the steak...

chaoticstormbringer · Post by **chaoticstormbringer** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 7:13 pm

Okay associating pokemon with satan is an understatement. Sadly enough the pokemon games are fabulous but the series is shit. Hell i'm a natural satanist and I could practice it if I wasn't so damn lazy.

But then again... who are we to say that satan is evil? not that I really believe in the religions, I onl;y believe that the satanists are a faction of people who live the rather serious lifestyle and prefer the more darker parts of life.

Pokemon aren't evil however, its a shit series but pokemon aren't evil. Call me sad call me a pokefreak i don't care. I love the gameboy games.. it is by far the best games EVER created for gameboy and that is a damn true fact.

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 7:14 pm

Second only to Tetris

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 7:19 pm

Oh God so true ther Jon

By the way, just to answer the question before it comes up - I'm not a Christian fundmentalist, not a Christian at all, and not only does my avatar have nothing to do with this specific article or a general fundamentalist attitude, but it's just...

random

That's right, it has no relevance to anything in particular, just a bright color and a memorable physionomy.