Fuck you warmongers

HungryCrackPot · Post by **HungryCrackPot** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 1:39 pm

Axis of Evil Wannabees (by John Cleese)

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils ... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi resident Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."

Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's because no one's asked.

buddykiller · Post by **buddykiller** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 1:52 pm

SSJVegita0609 · Post by **SSJVegita0609** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 2:40 pm

That just made my day!

MaliceDR · Post by **MaliceDR** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 2:59 pm

jonmartensen · Post by **jonmartensen** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 3:04 pm

Overlorsd's PS

Weapon of mass destruction

MaliceDR · Post by **MaliceDR** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 3:12 pm

jonmartensen wrote:Overlorsd's PS

Weapon of mass destruction

HAH!!

Dark Dragon · Post by **Dark Dragon** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 3:41 pm

jonmartensen wrote:Overlorsd's PS

Weapon of mass destruction

*ROFLOL*

Good one! Maybe we should be chucking Mini Saddams at Bagdad, somone must have the technoligy to clone mini's by now, if people don't want us bombing Iraq we could just send in an army of evil clones to kill to original Saddam... and then they blow up killing his army... and children, brothers, wifes and the rest of his line untill no more Husseins left.

Mroni · Post by **Mroni** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 4:37 pm

Funny

Mr Oni

Farmboybob · Post by **Farmboybob** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 5:02 pm

This thread is just grrrrrreat!!!

Kage Bushin · Post by **Kage Bushin** » Sat Mar 29, 2003 5:08 pm

Dark Dragon wrote: Good one! Maybe we should be chucking Mini Saddams at Bagdad, somone must have the technoligy to clone mini's by now, if people don't want us bombing Iraq we could just send in an army of evil clones to kill to original Saddam... and then they blow up killing his army... and children, brothers, wifes and the rest of his line untill no more Husseins left.

my friend kevin (not dark jedi) had a good idea on how to fight Iraq
step 1. We get the amount of pennies that it takes to buy a cruise missle
step 2. We drop all those pennies on Iraq
step 3. The Iraqis (or watever the plural of people who live in Iraq is) pick up the pennies from the skulls of thier friends and loved ones and rebuild their country