I Am Stepping Down

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Radical_Yue
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I Am Stepping Down

Post by Radical_Yue » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:26 pm

This is something that actually fills me with immense sadness to do...I am hereby stepping down from the administration.
No matter how much I love this community and it's members I can not deal with the behind the scenes pettiness anymore. While I know certain parties will be disappointed in me, I can't take this toxic atmosphere. I've hit my limit and while the last straw was a small one, it's the one that broke the camel's back. I've been told many times that stepping down is selfish and will have a negative impact on the community and while I've honestly never seen myself as that important, I do sincerely apologize for what I'm doing. As I said, this really does break my heart to do but I'm doing this for my own emotional wellness.

Those that know me personally know that every setback, every argument, and every victory affected me in a big way. This wasn't just something that I saw on the internet and went about my day after reading, this shaped how my day went. I've let social obligations go ignored, I've let my stats at work go to hell, and I've had amazing days because I was part of this administration. Sadly, more of the first two and less of the third.

While I've never been shy about it, I suffer from depression. I didn't come from the best home life and suicidal thoughts have followed me for a very large part of my life. Every day is a struggle but if it wasn't for the Org and the amazing people on it, I would be dead already. I've made an attempt in the past and if it wasn't for the friends I've made on this site, I was planning on making that attempt a success shortly after I turned 18.
Because of that, I was happy to help where I could. I loved talking with new members and giving them even a small taste of the help and friendliness that was shown to me. I will still be more than happy to help and assist any new member or editor that comes my way. You guys deserve better.

I am well aware certain parties were not and are not happy with my presence and that regardless of what I do, I am apparently unwanted. Congrats, you got your wish. You've done a great job at helping break my spirit and I'm done. I hope you enjoy all of your glory. I don't want any of it. You disgust me on a professional level and as a human being. You are the only reason that I am leaving the administration.

I still hope that one day this site will be redesigned and the user base will pick back up. It really was something fantastic back in the day and I don't think I'll ever fully be able to let go of that hope. I've tried, but I can't. Whether it's by the small but dedicated effort of those working on the redesign or a perfectly timed bus that manages to iron out the issues with this administration, I really do hope to see it improve. I'll still be around the community, just not as an admin anymore. I'm still happy to help where and when I can and I always will be. I'm still not done hosting contests either! Roulette is way too much fun and The Quickening will never fully die. Nothing excites me more than to see creativity at work and editors having a fantastic time. Whether they'll be on here or another site remains to be seen.

Those on the administration that remain, you guys are amazing. dokidoki is still one of the greatest editors and best guys I've ever known. Mirko is reliable and incredibly smart. Nya sticks it out and is a great level headed opinion when things get messy. Replay got dem magic legs ;D. Vlad, you're the best dad a community could ask for. Meatwad, while we've had our issues in the past I do wish you the best. And of course to all the guys working quietly behind the scenes without pretty colors attached to their names, you're heroes.

Tim, if you could remove my admin status that would be greatly appreciated. :cupcake:

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Ileia
WHAT IS PINK MAY NEVER DIE!
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by Ileia » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:29 pm

I'm sadly going to join Yue in this. I've been an active member here for almost 12 years and though I've been somewhat involved in a lot of changes over the years, I was only recently made a mod and so I have not had to personally deal with things on the scale that Yue and the other mods have. In the grand scheme of things, all I did was approve posts and ban spambots and that's kind of where any of my assistance ends. I thought that I could help some more than that, but it's kind of "too little, too late" situation that has been mostly met with apathy or passive aggressive hostility (that has been compounding and ultimately lead to this decision).

There seems to be less and less of a "community" aspect, which is what drew me here in the first place. In recent years, it seems like this website only cares about its members or their opinions when it needs money. It's incredibly frustrating and disheartening...and I have better things to do with my time than play passive-aggressive e-peens. AMVs are still thriving and I have no intention to stop editing, watching them, going to cons, or interacting with people (I'm sure I'll still chat with many of you elsewhere) but I'm done with this website. I'd appreciate being removed as well.

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Fall_Child42
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by Fall_Child42 » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:30 pm

The biggest hug goes to you Yue.

And I say this without my usual satire or jokieness.
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DrunkenPony
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by DrunkenPony » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:38 pm

All i have to say is that the site wont be the same under yues administration,also i hop the person responsible for yues stepping down to grow some balls and step down because he acctualy destroys the whole thing instead of helping

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ngsilver
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by ngsilver » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:44 pm

While I can say I'm not surprised by any of this, and can also say I'm sad to see ya'll go.
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seasons
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by seasons » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:45 pm

Whatever it is you're going through and whatever happened, I hope you can still enjoy the hobby and fwiw I'd really hate it if either of you disappeared from here. I'd love to say that maybe things could still be worked out but obviously I have no idea of what's going on behind the scenes. Whatever's going on, I'm sure this wasn't an easy choice to make.

Depression is a bitch and I often wonder whether trying to deal with difficult people on the Internet (with or without that handicap, if you want to call it that) is really worth it in the long run. Hopefully someone can prove that it is.

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Nya-chan Production
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by Nya-chan Production » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:46 pm

Godspeed, Yue. I think it's a bit... dramatic, sharing it to the public - and I am not afraid to say it openly - but it's your choice. I will stick around, approving some posts and deleting some bots, until something happens. I still hope o7
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HotaruT
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by HotaruT » Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:58 pm

So the cancer called social bullying is spreading here too... That's the reason i left Finnish AMV/Anime/con community and European kig community totally few years a go.

All the good luck to you Radical_Yue and Ileia. You have done an amazing job. I salute you. :up:

P.S. Head to the far east, they still seem to have positive attitude and honor is still valued. ^^

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ZephyrStar
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by ZephyrStar » Tue Mar 15, 2016 3:19 pm

Thank you for everything! o_o7 <3

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Fall_Child42
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by Fall_Child42 » Tue Mar 15, 2016 3:35 pm

Fall_Child42 wrote:The biggest hug goes to you Yue & Ileia.

And I say this without my usual satire or jokieness.
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Shin-AMV
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by Shin-AMV » Tue Mar 15, 2016 3:43 pm

RIP Org.

I think overall its probably the most reasonable decision given the circumstances but still sad to see you go. I felt that your efforts were the only thing really keeping the Org active on the forums with things like Roulette and your general passion to engage new editors and actually bring them over here to try to salvage this place and show that it might be a little relevant. Without your presence as an admin the site will probably just get used for the contest forums with some stray questions in the tech help, but those aren't usually places of social interaction anyways. Although that last fact doesn't mean much anyways cause I think most editors interact mostly through facebook/skype/youtube and that's not going to be changing anytime soon.

You fought the good fight and did what you could, the AMV community itself is thriving just not here on the Org and your drive and passion might just be better suited helping and inspiring that community in other areas where you'll be more welcomed and less stymied.
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DistantMelodies
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by DistantMelodies » Tue Mar 15, 2016 4:01 pm

Big hug to both you Yue and Ileia. It is sad to see you both go but I understand both of your decisions.
It is never fun to work with a toxic environment, and even though I don't talk to either of you that often, I really hope this decision helps you in every aspect possible. Thank you for all the years you guys were admins whether it was a long time or not.

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AmvLuna
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by AmvLuna » Tue Mar 15, 2016 4:52 pm

org = Yue
I don't know exactly the reasons but for you to step down, it must be serious and I hope the guy who is in fault will understand without you, org will never be the same.

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AmvLuna
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by AmvLuna » Tue Mar 15, 2016 4:57 pm

Also Glory Questor, because I guess you're the one in charge of the website with Phade, I hope you will learn to trust people and try to work with the others mod or admin. You're not the only one here, this website would not be alive without the community, You should not take all the decisions without at least consulting the others.

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Nya-chan Production
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Re: I Am Stepping Down

Post by Nya-chan Production » Tue Mar 15, 2016 5:41 pm

Shin-AMV wrote:I felt that your efforts were the only thing really keeping the Org active on the forums with things like Roulette and your general passion to engage new editors and actually bring them over here to try to salvage this place and show that it might be a little relevant. Without your presence as an admin the site will probably just get used for the contest forums with some stray questions in the tech help, but those aren't usually places of social interaction anyways.
Just a note here, since you're not the only who hints at this - Yue never mentioned going away, stopping organizing Roulette or helping new editors. She just won't be an admin anymore, but I suppose if she wants to continue her efforts around as a regular member (which I am under the impression she wants to), she totally can.
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