- Members (6): Fall_Child42, Decoy, GloryQuestor, Kitsuner, Kristyrat, inthesto
- Title: MEEVRARP - (Or Iron Chef Idol)
- Premiered: 2005-12-05
- Decoy Tant Mossie
- Edvard Grieg In the hall of the mountain king
- Fall_Child42 New York, New York
- Glory_Questor Hotel California
- Guilty Gear XX Faith Shall Save Thee
- Inthesto Heart Shaped Box
- Julian Gingell American Idol Theme
- Kitsuner Bohemian Rhapsody
- Kristyrat I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts
n : compulsory military service [syn: muster, draft, selective service]
See, the above definition more or less explains what's happening right now. Apparently, the rest of the editors associated with this project seem to agree that I (inthesto) am the best person for writing video notes. I doubt they realize that they're implicitly insulting themselves, but I suppose that leaves all the more power for me to weave in subtle jabs at the rest of them like I did just now. As I hammer this out, because Fall_Child42 won't stop pestering me about it, I'm feeling ever-so-slightly bitter, because it's preventing me from taking my anticipated nap. I wish I could say my lack of cohesion in my writing could be attributed to my sleepiness, but that would be a flat-out lie. I'm always incoherent.
The origins of this video are shrouded in mystery, much like Atlantis. The difference between this video and Atlantis, however, is that Atlantis is actually desirable. This video, on the other hand, should probably be avoided like the plague. Not because it's bad, per se, but because...well, I suppose I should explain how the origins of it and how it works first. I'm pretty sure this concept behind this video was thought up roughly a month ago, shortly after a certain experimental Iron Chef abomination . It probably happened while we were chatting on Skype, and somebody brought up the idea of singing our own songs for the next Iron Chef competition. I honestly do not know what kind of twisted mental process causes a rational individual to think of an idea as god-forsaken as that, but it happens. More importantly, it did happen. More importantly than that, you're looking at the video information page of it right now. More importantly than that, I'm really sleepy and I want to go to bed. Why am I writing this again?
Because I hate myself. Right.
Now that that is out of the way, we can move on to talking about the actual video itself. Being the inconsiderate asshole that I am, I managed to get the event stalled twice. Originally scheduled to launch on 12 AM, 12/3/05, I decided to pull a no-show after that night's D&D session. It was a rather zany session. In fact, since I'm the one writing this, I'm going to take the following paragraph to describe what happened. I don't care that it has absolutely nothing to do with the video. This is what happens when you assign me work for which I have no responsibility.
So my party (two human clerics, an elven sorceror, an elven ranger, and a human ranger - me) managed to receive a quest where one of the nobles in the city was being blackmailed by...the city blackmailer. I'm sure every medieval city has one, or something. After we got his address, the elf ranger decided that was a good opportunity to play Ding-Dong-Ditch with the blackmailer's house. After running between two doors and knocking on them with no real result, the blackmailer and his butler trapped the house. We then decide to infiltrate the house later at night, when everyone is sleeping. We create a magical fog in the backyard, place a glowing rock in the middle, and then lure the butler out, and knock him out. Inside we go to explore the house, and we run into the blackmailer's study. No keys to open up his file cabinets, however. We then find his bedroom with him sleeping in it. We try to put him to magical sleep, but that wakes him up, and he's immune to sleep anyway. The good part is that he doesn't see us, so he just knows that something is in his house. At this point the spellcasters create a giant pool of water on his floor, shine a bright light in his face, and then make a severed bear eye (I don't know why, but the other ranger had one lying around) orbit his head. Meanwhile, the rest of us are pulling out bedsheets and making disguises out of them (I was hoping that it was a drow...catch the joke, if you can). Eventually, one of the clerics tackles the blackmailer into his bedroom, we slam the doors shut and tie them down, and the cleric jumps out the window, using his Ring of Feather Fall to ensure his safety. We then light fire to his file cabinets and run away.
Okay, so that wasn't nearly as fun in print as it was in the game, but I can't honestly say I care. My writing, I get to say whatever the hell I want. In case you were perceptive enough to skip the previous paragraph, I will now return to talking about the actual video, insofar as such a monstrosity could be called a video.
As an Iron Chef "competition," (I use the preceding word lightly, as there are no winners in this case) everything was edited on the spot and in two hours. Well, I assume the other editors took two hours. I took closer to twenty minutes. For me, the rest of the time was spent getting lunch (hell, I was hungry) and playing Neverwinter Nights. I imagine there was some porn inbetween, but that's difficult to confirm, unless somebody feels like carbon-dating my garbage. From the looks of the other videos, everyone else put in some actual effort, except for Decoy, but he comes from a different continent that's really poor, so he doesn't matter. I actually regret putting so little effort into my own video, but at the same time I also regret that one time I tried to pick my nose with a screwdriver. Trust me, rust and boogers do not mix very well. Actually, I take that back. They mix very well, and that's what makes it so problematic.
Oops, looks like I went off on a tangent again. Where did I leave off? Nobody cares? Good, that means I can pick up where ever I want and nobody will notice. So after I managed to delay the contest once, I managed to delay it again with something wholly inconsequential like a shower. I can't be editing unbathed, now can I? After all was said and done, we uploaded our shit to Fall_Child who put it all together with a flashy intro, narratives, and outro (which is why I insisted that we put the video under his profile). I'm personally surprised by the amount of effort he put into the transitions, as I don't think the rest of us put that much effort combined into the actual videos. I suppose that's what happens when you have an Iron Chef that's a joke from the start.
Of course, the last several paragraphs or however long I've been writing now aren't the worst part. The worst part is the fact that we plan on doing this again. With an eighties theme.
Yeah, be afraid.
ps - dust loops are for fags