- Member: Hoyle00
- Studio: Hoyle00 Productions
- Title: Existentialism
- Premiered: 2005-03-20
- Our Lady Peace Starseed
Special thanks to 'Khameleon' for final rendering assistance.
This is a project that began back in Fall of 2002. In other words this project took nearly 3 years to complete. Shortly after I had started it my grandfather passed away. This was the first close person in my life that had passed away and it wasn't until I was 19. He used to always say "If you do a job, do it right or don't do it at all". That qoute became more evident in my head then ever before. I decided to apply that saying 'Existentialism' and other then video quality controls that were constrained by my univeristy budget I feel that I never became lazy at any point in the video.
As for the video itself. When I started 'Existentialism' Evangelion was still an over used anime source for AMVs, but not to the extent it is today. As the years went by it became evidently clear that in order to make an Evangelion video to stick out, originality was the main key. As a result there are a list of things of WHAT YOU WILL NOT SEE in 'Existentialism'.
1. Misato kissing Shinji
2. An Endless loop of Asuka fighting the Eva Series
3. A character profile of Rei
Instead 'Existentialism' became very personalized early on in its production. The video is a metaphor of my own ongoing depression about my life. The anime is used to adhere to my personal life experiences and not the plots or themes of the series. If anything the plots of the series may, on the odd occassion, be implied as a symbolic reflection of my own life experiences. This is NOT an attempt to personalize myself with any character of the show or the authors own illnesses.
For those of you who only wish the view the video for face value enjoyment, I say thank you for taking the time to watch it.
For those of you want an explanation of how the hell 'Existentialism' is metaphorical I have taken the time to break it down piece by piece.
First of the title 'Existentialism' is defined as a field of philosophy that concentrates on the questioning of "why do we exist?". Anyone who has taken the time already to dig deep into the themes of Evangelion already know that this question is a major premise for the series. I felt existentialism was comfortable link between the series and my own personal thoughts.
(0:00) - The lip sync of Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men", has no direct relation to the theme of the video. It was more or else a way of starting the video off by expressing a lighter side of myself before diving into a much more serious side. "A Few Good Men" was and still is an all time favourite movie of some of my most closest friends, who have been here for me during my darkest times whether they realise it or not, this was my way of paying tribute them as well.
(0:45) - The video begins in black & white, which if meant to reflect the innocence of anyones childhood. A time when you literally live in a bubble and view the word being as simple as black & white logic. The clip itself is a moment in the series where everything starts to fall apart for NERV. This feeling can be seen as a metaphor to when someones grows up to the point where they must confront the harshness of reality and can no long live in that bubble.
(0:58) - Rei and Shinji are the only two things in colour while the rest is clearly still B&W. The colour is symbollic of complexity in ones life, while B&W is simplicity. Here we have the complexity of two young teenagers in the series attempting to still view the world around them as being simple or B&W.
(1:05) - The Blood appears red while everything else is still B&W, drawing greater emphasis to the idea that reality and complexity in ones mind can be painful.
(1:15) - Hear the eye of EVA01 turns from B&W to full colour. What is important here is what happens imediately afterwards. Both the song and the anime increase in intensity, reflecting the idea of frustration, confusion, anxiety, and paranoia of the new changes in ones life.
(1:48) - First Verse Begins. This verse presents the idea of trying to sort out ones thoughts of anxiety and depression due to unexpected changes in life. It symbolizes the problems of trying to let go of the past and moving on to a new without losing control of yourself. The alternative would ultimately be suicide.
(2:00) - At the end of the first verse the video immediately goes into flashbacks of Asuka's haunting images of her mother hanging herself. This clip in my opinion can be one of the most powerful parts of the entire projects. It represents the idea that no matter how much you may feel there is no use in living and that the world wouldn't change without you, there is always at least one person who still needs you. For Asuka's mother, it was Asuka.
(2:12) - Before the Chorus begins there is another break down of violent clips between EVA01 and EVA03. Anger can be another predominant emotion of depression. The mere idea of rejecting suicide does not necessary mean that your depression is gone, often times it can allow it incubate and worsen causing one to act physically or verbally aggressive to others. Hurting others becomes an easy way of expressing the hurt you have inside yourself.
(2:18) - The Chorus basically resites the general theme of trying to collect your thoughts and restructure your life. For example Shinji comes to the conclusion that his life should be about trying to impress those above him particularly his own father. However it is his father who betrays him and almost his his friend with Shinji's own hands.
(2:45) - The Second Verse. This verse is supposed to give the feeling of sinking to an all time low. Hense the highlight of Asuka in red (pain) while here surroundings are Blue (peaceful). The second verse also reflects the lowest and sadest part of Misato's life too. The lyrics compliment this theme as well, "Falling back under the equator".
(3:00) - The second verse ends with a series of clips leading to the kiss between Asuka and Shinji. Another aggitater of despression can be the opposite sex. Not being able to relate comfortabling with girls (if you are a boy), can cause a natural inescapable kind of hurt, because the need to be loved itself is inescapable. The images of love that surround you remind you of your own loneliness.
(3:08) - Before the second chorus, the video presents a series of clips where Kauru is killed by shinji. The theme reflected here is the idea of being betrayed by a friend. If an individual experiences this kind of betrayal, it is not surprising that he or she may develop a lack of trust for all people. Kauru was supposed to be the perfect friend who would accept Shinji for whoever he was yet, Shinji is still betrayed. If he cannot trust even the best of friends from hurting him how could he trust anyone lesser. Living a friendless life can only worsen ones depression.
(3:16) - The second chorus reflects the same image as the first time around. It collectively highlights the thoughts and feelings of betrayal, loneliness, and worthiness.
(3:30) - the second chorus ends with Rei disappearing in the locker room. It is a reflection of Rei's understanding of her own self worth. Much of the series she treats her life as if it is expendable, but when she does attempt to kill herself feelings of worth suddenly enter her mind. This once again becomes a personal attack on the alternative of suicide.
(3:40) - At this point the video becomes as intense as it is going to get. This reflect feels of high insecurity. If the word around you cannot be sorted out clearly and suicide is not an option, you may begin to feel trapped in a chaotic limbo with no answer. much of the remaining video reflects this image. Much of the video sourced here uses the chaotic collapse of NERV.
(4:00) - The lyrics "It's all for nothing", does not imply a Linkin Park theme of "In the end it doesn't really matter. The Japanese lettering or characters mean "Silence". A possible alternative to that limbo state of confusion is isolation. To block yourself off from all people and trust no one, thus creating silence. However silence can be just as bad which emphasizes the lyrics "It's all for nothing".
(4:40) - Further illustrates the general theme or feeling os being sufficated by your depression until you finally strangle it back!
There is much more meaning behind this video. However this is all i feel comfortable revealing. thank you for taking the time to read any of this, I hope it was helpful.