- Member: Skyebox
- Studio: Skyebox Productions
- Title: In Love Again
- Premiered: 2008-08-08
- Character Profile
- Overscene Hate Myself
- Otakon, Otakon AMV Contest (2008-08-08)
- AnimeIowa, AnimeIowa AMV Contest (2008-08-15)
I've loved Hana Yori Dango since the days of VHS fansubs, and ever since the commercial release I've been wanting to make another HYD AMV. However, I didn't want to simply make the same videos I've made in the past. So I've been waiting for a song to inspire me, and I found one when I bought Overscene's debut album at a recent Sevendust concert.
"Hate Myself" by Overscene (The Moment of Change, 2008)
Self-esteem has been shut down
I was better when you weren't around
All these games you played on me
Everything I couldn't see
I might hate myself tomorrow
But tonight it's you and me
Just pour me one last shot
And I'll fall in love again...
I've been serving all my time
With these thoughts of you on my mind
I think I'm going insane
Nothing between us will be the same
Help me be free, escape reality
I taste the waste that's overtaking me
Too late, I hate the shit that you create
Fuck you, we're through, I'm sick of this abuse
[Chorus] x 2
I wanted to address an issue that I think some HYD viewers overlook, or simply ignore in order to focus on the romance. It takes about 49 episodes for Tsukushi to finally acknowledge her romantic feelings for Doumyouji, and not that much fewer for her to finally let go of her infatuation with Rui. I would be the first to admit that this can be annoying. "Why won't she just accept Doumyouji's feelings?!? He's saved her live at least twice and he *really* loves her!", people wonder. Or, "Why the heck does she still like that jerk Rui?!?"
How could anyone not question or even hate their desire to be in a relationship that is so traumatizing? Throughout much of the series Doumyouji and Rui are incredibly abusive towards Tsukushi, both physically and emotionally, and display the collective maturity level of a third-grader. Doumyouji is used to getting everything he wants and doesn't hesitate to use force to get it. He hides behind his wealth and family name, knowing that no one would dare oppose him. At the times when Tsukushi decides that she won't take any of his crap, he responds by directing their classmates to haze her, smacking her around, attacking her friends, and at one point sexually assaulting her. On the flip side, Rui is well aware of Tsukushi's crush on him and milks it for all it's worth. He defends her only when he feels like it, and at other times casually brushes her off when it's obvious that she's counting on his support. At the same time, he both toys and outright flirts with her. And despite his knowlege of both the insincerity of his own feelings and Doumyouji's violent jealousy, he decides to pursue a rebound relationship with Tsukushi anyway. I still waffle over which scenario is worse.
Over the course of the series, both men show a great deal of emotional growth. And they are ultimately able to give Tsukushi much of the affection, support, advice, and friendship that she wants and deserves. But they are unable to undo their past actions. And this is what Tsukushi understandibly struggles with.
This was the first time that I have ever had to edit obscenities out of a song for convention screening purposes. I don't have a lot of technological saavy, so I simply cut out the necessary words and replaced them with other sections of the same song that happened to have the same backgound music. I think it sounds OK (especially since the middle section is shouted and it's pretty much impossible to understand the lyrics anyway ^_^).