burntoast (Danny Jun)
In the words of Failed Experiments...
But seriously, I'm willing to sell my soul to get my "editing youth" back. -.-
Free from anger, free from sorrow, free from self. I just want to be free.
Time passes by..
A lot of things have happened since my last journal entry.. Most importantly, I finally solved my XviD problem regarding huge 2 pass-1st pass encodes. ^^ Editing is going slow but steady these days.. I'm about 1/7 done with my latest vid, but it's nothing really special. I'm still uneasy with the fact that I won RotY for this year's VCAs (I really thought Tash deserved it the most). But it is the *Viewer's* Choice Award so I shouldn't go against who votes for what. I'd hate to be egotistical, so I'm gonna act as if I never won anything. But still.. I feel obligated to make better AMVs now and to set a good example or something. My laziness and procrastination don't help either.. Yet I've decided that instead of worrying over how my videos will be perceived, I'm just gonna make vids for fun. That's what it's all about, isn't it..? :)
It's 12:37 am.. I should be sleeping or studying for my last two midterms tomorrow. -.-;; At a time like this, I'm like an insomniac so I just browse the 'net and whatnot.. Anyways, I'm not sure if I actually deserve to be nominated for this year's VCAs. I mean, I've seen so many great videos this past year and it seems unfair how my own works got chosen. I guess I really do need a self-esteem checkup or something.. For the next VCAs, I wanna see what would happen if I didn't promote any of my vids (in the form of an "Oscar ad", shameless forum plug, etc.), just to see how that affects the nominations.. Or maybe I'll ask to be disqualified from the contest. :P I'm getting ahead of myself.. Well, good luck to everyone else and I hope that I don't get chosen for "Best Whatever".. :X
I guess I'm done.. I no longer possess the will to create music videos. It's not even been a whole year for me since I've joined the Org, and I honestly hate myself for slowing to a stop so early. It's not like my videos were that good in the first place, but I really did enjoy making them during my free time. I can't believe how many video ideas I've thought of but have never fully executed. My mind tells me I should keep making AMVs, but I guess my body tells me not to. Forgive me for sounding like a pathetic whiner, but I'm just so frustrated over this simple thing. I truly love this hobby with all my heart and soul. Procrastination will really be the end of me.. I want to get this treated but I don't want to waste time by going to a psychiatrist or something. It's also hard to rely on my parents for such things, and they worry about me enough. For now, I'll most likely keep watching more videos, but I doubt I'll continue making them as much as i used to..
Current server time: Dec 09, 2013 19:55:56